Balancing Act: In a time of hate, your civility lectures aren't helping anyone

I used to answer all my hate mail.

Surely, I used to think, a polite reply will show my profanity-spewing detractors that I'm a real person who reads her email. Then surely, I used to think, we can find some common ground.

That wasn't my experience.

I would get an email with an opening like, "Dear libtard" or "Hey, ugly feminist whiner" or, simply, "Die, b---h" and I would take a deep breath and craft a civil reply.

"It sounds like we don't see eye-to-eye, but I appreciate your taking the time to read my column. Have a good day."