DOWN ON THE FARM

I am parked on a grassy hilltop, sitting on a hay bale in the bed of an atomic-orange 2018 Toyota Tacoma, soaking in the warm, pale, late-afternoon California winter sun, and watching a black-on-black Honda Ridgeline descend the opposite hill. It pauses at the top and then slowly moves toward me. As the Ridgeline inches down from the ridgeline, a massive black and white form suddenly looms in front of me, blotting out the sun, the truck, and even the hill.

Enter Safran the steer. All 7 feet and 3,000 pounds of him.

Safran steps forward, looks down at the Ridgeline, and gallops after it. A dozen or so similar large forms appear and watch Safran chasing after the Honda. He cuts off the Ridgeline and lowers his head toward its grille, as if to say, “Me first.” The Ridgeline smartly comes to an abrupt stop.

Pleased with his intimidation of the Honda, Safran gambols back to our group of humans and bovines, hanging out at the back of our now-hayless Tacoma, 2019 Ford Ranger, and 2019 Chevrolet Colorado. He pauses at the Chevy, gives it a lick, and merrily trots off to join the dozen cows and donkeys that had followed him down the hill. It’s dinner time.

I Wanna Be a Cowboy

Too often comparison tests involve journalists attempting to simulate a car’s duty cycle. Supercar on a track, SUVs in the dirt—you get it. With the Colorado, Ranger, Ridgeline, and Tacoma on hand, I figured, why mimic work when we can actually do it?

Farm Sanctuary, a nonprofit farm-animal rescue founded in 1986, provided the opportunity. With locations in Watkins Glen, New York, and another about an hour north of Los Angeles, the organization specializes in saving farm animals—chickens, pigs, lambs, goats, cows, horses, you name it—from