Celebrating My (Gay) Divorce

Editor’s Note: This article is part of a series about the gay-rights movement and the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising.

On August 25, 2013, I said “I do” to Jim, my partner of nine years, who became my “lawfully wedded husband.” Our friend and officiant, Fred Silverman, proclaimed: “By becoming married today, you are making a powerful statement to each other, your family and friends, and—importantly—to the larger world.” Then we recited our vows, flawlessly performed the ring exchange, and, with our dear friends as witnesses, signed the marriage certificate. I was bursting with love, and with pride.

At the same time, the politics of our wedding weren’t lost on me. I didn’t want to be “gay married”; I wanted us to be “married” like any other couple, thank you very much. I wanted us to be