Monocles Were Never Cool
Recently, a Facebook ad tried to sell me a monocle. The ad probably appeared because I had visited too many over-specialized menswear websites. It showed an earnest young man with a full beard, waxed mustache, period clothing, and the anachronistic piece of eyewear. He looked ridiculous.
Why would anyone want this? I’ll admit to owning a tweed blazer (or seven), but when it comes to retro men’s fashion accessories, monocles are on another level of affectedness. They look strange, too. One eye is magnified and obscured, while the other looks naked. A monocle perches on the face, precariously unsupported, requiring effort and practice just to keep it in place.
In the present day, a monocle is almost always part of a costume. It’s a visual shorthand for a stock character: a wealthy gentleman with the air of a Gilded Age aristocrat ready for a black-tie gala or a night at the opera. He peers through its single lens to project a critical
