Dear Therapist: My Girlfriend and I Are at a Crossroads in Our Relationship

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

I have been seeing my girlfriend for a year and four months. We got together quickly, at a tumultuous time. Six months earlier, I’d left an abusive relationship, and my ex, who did not take it well, was in our lives for a while. That has all died down, and I have been really enjoying getting to know my girlfriend and meeting her family and friends.

The issue is that she is 38 years old and wants to start a family right now. I am 34 and not sure. She has always made it perfectly clear that she wants to have children. I, however, had always been unsure of how a family would happen for moment.