Yachtmaster in obfuscation
Nautical English is mainly designed to confuse and impress, and works best when it does both at once. They teach this on courses, which garner certificates, which impress non-sailor friends when they come round for dinner, but confuse those with any intention of going sailing.
The solution to this is to do more courses, which eventually stops normal people coming for dinner. To achieve this, all you need to do is respond accordingly
