STAND-UP GUYS

When you’re hot, you’re hot. When you’re not, you’re not. It is what it is and it was ever so. The moneycombed ventricles of the eternally-moribund Hollywood dreadnought constantly thirsts for young blood: starlets; hunks; film school rejects; wackadoo YouTube ninjas; and the downright delusional. If you happen to rock up with a fully-formed stand-up act, you get to skip to the front of the queue. ‘But I can’t act!’ Fuck that. ‘I’m not sure my comedy will translate to the big screen!’ Translate? Look, just turn up on time and do your schtick. We’ll take care of the rest… That’s how we get Good Morning, Vietnam. It’s also how Get Him to the Greek is born. It’s a system that usually works 100 per cent of the time. But for every Will Ferrell there’s a Tom Green. For every Jim Carrey an Andy Kaufman. In homage to the Sandman himself, we take a look at nine stand-ups who have either been swallowed whole, bled dry or shat out by the dream factory’s foul and Promethean desperation to die another day.

BOBCAT GOLDWAIT

When describing Bobcat Goldthwait’s stand-up act it is useful