North & South

WHY MIDDLE-CLASS MILLENNIALS AREN’T LEAVING HOME

Midnight, mid-week, in an inner-city Wellington suburb notable for its “How much?” Victorian villas. Amy Potter* was getting intimate with a Tinder date she’d met a few hours earlier when there was a knock on her bedroom door. It was her mother Siobhan*, 63, a retired public servant.

“I’ve kept your dinner warm,” Siobhan called through the locked door, as Amy and her date frantically got dressed. “It’s shepherd’s pie, your favourite. Should I bring it in?”

Backlit by bright spring sunshine, Potter, 31, laughs as she recounts the embarrassing encounter, one of a number since the business analyst moved back into her childhood home eight months ago. “Can you imagine having sex with someone you’ve just met while your mother hovers outside the door? Nothing kills the mood faster.”

I get the feeling Potter has told this story numerous times, squeezing it for maximum laughs. She’s about to tell another when Siobhan unexpectedly appears, carrying boiled water in various combinations.

“See what I mean?” she says after her mother leaves. “I know it’s her house and I don’t want to sound ungrateful – I’m truly thankful to my parents for helping me while I save for a house deposit – but I can’t be alone here. I’ve been living independently since I left home at 18 to go to university, but since moving back we’ve reverted to the traditional parent/child relationship. Yes, they’re my parents, but I’m an adult now and those old roles don’t work.”

It’s definitely not how Potter had imagined spending her 30s.

Living in the cushy comfort of your family home – where the fridge is always full and someone else pays the Netflix bill – would seem to be the epitome of a First World problem. Often called the “boomerang” generation or “failure to launch” kids, an estimated one-third of millennials globally now live with their parents. In fact, US figures show parental co-habitation is currently the most common accommodation arrangement for adults aged 18-34. According to the Pew Research Centre, it’s the first time that’s ever happened.

In the US, that equates to around 23 million millennials (35% of all males and 26% of all females in that age group) staying at home and, when they do leave, returning when they’re financially strapped or or big babies – who still live with their parents (unsurprisingly, a proposed law in 2010 requiring Italian children to leave home once they turned 18 gained little traction).

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