See, the conqu’ring hero comes — to be ridiculed by vegans

Faulknor led his men in scaling the walls, escaping death by a miracle

NOT KNOWING ST PAUL’S CATHEDRAL very well, and having a break from filming, I decided to have a wander round. One monument in the north transept caught my eye. Sculpted in white marble in the grand Classical tradition and with more than life-size figures, it showed a dying warrior, naked but for an artfully tucked-in chiton or tunic, falling into the arms of Neptune while a winged Victory held a wreath over his head with one hand and bore a palm with the other.

“Overblown heroics”, I thought. And then I read the inscription. “This monument”, it declared, “was erected by the British Parliament to commemorate the gallant conduct of Captain Robert Faulknor” who in January 1795 had taken the French frigate, , “of very superior force”. In close combat, the bowsprit of the enemy had come athwart his ship and by lashing it “with his own hands” to his capstan Faulknor had “converted the whole stern of the into one battery”.