TRYING TO STAY ALIVE IN GTA V: CHAOS MOD PART II

After battling his way through suicidal traffic in the climax to last month’s diary, I left Grand Theft Auto V’s Michael De Santa sunning himself by his swimming pool. It was a well-deserved reprieve from the antics of the Chaos Mod, which triggers random and usually ridiculous effects in GTA’s world at regular, player-dictated intervals.

But the gangster Michael owes money to isn’t going to leave his legs unbroken for long, so it’s time for the retired bank-robber to find himself a big new score. But what mischief and mayhem will the Chaos Mod throw at us this time around? Alien invasion? Anti-gravity?

I SPY A JETLINER CARTWHEELING IN THE SKY AS IF WALTZING

Well, for a worryingly long time, the answer is ‘none whatsoever’. I travel to the home of Michael’s old friend and accomplice Lester in an entirely normal and unchaotic manner. Lester agrees to help Michael do big crimes on the condition that he scratches Lester’s back first, by assassinating the head of social media platform LifeInvader, Jay Norris. Michael grabs the explosive phone Lester has prepared, drives to a nearby clothes shop to dress up like a techbro, then heads over to LifeInvader’s