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  • Best Self Magazine

    Emerging From The Shadows of Suffering: A Healing Journey Through A Midlife Crisis

    by Sara Arnell Jul 07, 2021 5 minutes
    Emerging From The Shadows of Suffering: A Healing Journey Through A Midlife Crisis, by Sara Arnell. Photograph of woman walking with shadow behind by Martino Pietropoli
    Photograph by Martino Pietropoli

    Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

    A witty, vulnerable, self-deprecating journey of truth-telling and healing — one woman rises from the depths of a midlife crisis

    —

    One day, I noticed that I had something stuck to my side. I didn’t know what it was, but it slapped me with every step. Step. Smack. Step. Smack. It was getting in the way and slowing me down. My clothes didn’t fit right anymore. My shoulders were hunched from carrying this burden and my eyes were always downward, looking where I was going, as I was so unsure of my footing.

    But it wasn’t surgery that I needed to remove this appendage. It was self-esteem. Confidence. Happiness.

    This protuberance, this painful weight I was dragging around, was not an actual thing. What was attached to me was more insidious. It

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