What I learned from watching Love Island for the first time - and why I’ll never watch it again

Nearly every night for the past eight weeks, I religiously tuned into Love Island to follow the drama, the boredom, the cringe, and the endless sounds of snogging to understand why people are so obsessed with this series.

Despite the show having aired every year since 2015 (except in pandemic 2020), I had managed to avoid it until this year when I decided to watch it for the first time. Now, after two solid months of watching people who have attained impossible beauty standards fall in love (or lust) and out again, airing their mess all over national TV, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a show I will be watching ever again.

Granted, the drama is addictive. Many a night, I found myself shouting at the screen for Millie Court not to fall for Liam Reardon’s charms again (alas, after Liam blatantly cheated in Casa Amor, they reunited and have now been declared the 2021 winners) or for Faye Winters to get her act together and treat the beautiful Teddy Soares right (one of her more stunning meltdowns resulted in more than 24,000 Ofcom complaints and accusations of “verbal abuse”).

It’s also been quite nice to be part of a community on Twitter during the episodes. Scrolling through Twitter during advert breaks to see all the memes, jokes and takes posted by fans of the show has been a source of entertainment in and of itself. At many points, checking Love Island Twitter was more enjoyable than the show itself.

But despite the sheer entertainment, Love Island has left me with a lot of mixed feelings – most of them negative.

Here are three things I learned from watching Love Island for the first time this year – and why I won’t be tuning in again next year.

The cruelty of cringe

Sheer humiliation was one of the things that struck me about Love Island from the get go. From Shannon Singh being kicked off within the first 48 hours of the show starting, to Hugo Hammond not getting picked at all by any of the girls in a challenge, to Winters baring her crippling insecurities by repeatedly flying off the handle at any perceived slight.

Let’s not forget how Toby Amorolaran ditched not one, not two, not three, but four women, leaving all the women feeling “mugged off” at several points in the show whenever he made a move for another.

The producers seem to revel in making the Islanders as uncomfortable as they possibly can to entertain the public, forcing them into “tests” and rash decisions before they’ve even gotten a proper chance to get to know one another.

On top of humiliation, there is the manipulation .Winters’ “fiery” temperament made her perfect fodder for drama, and at times, it felt like her insecurities were being manipulated, with the producers aware the entire time that she would react poorly and therefore, create drama where it wasn’t necessary.

There is of course no excuse for how badly she treated Soares and some of the other contestants, but it was highly uncomfortable watching someone who the producers evidently knew lacked confidence in herself lash out at others in an effort to protect her own feelings.

That isn’t even the worst part. The worst part comes after the series has ended, when the contestants have to return to the real world and discover all the nasty things the public has said about them, as well as things about their partners they might not have known while existing in the protective bubble of the villa.

How have we allowed a reality show fuelled by so much cruelty to run for seven whole series?

It can’t be forgotten that two former Islanders and former host Caroline Flack have died by suicide. We can only hope that Love Island’s new mental health support measures for the contestants will be enough to help them adjust to their new realities.

The persistence of racism

Love Island’s problem with race has been well-documented over the years, and continues to disappoint. Dark-skinned black contestants are frequently chosen last during couplings, and Amber Gill, who is mixed race, was the first and only woman of colour to win Love Island in 2019.

The biases of the British public rang loud and clear when they voted for Winters and Soares over Kaz Kamwi and Tyler Cruickshank, despite the terrible behaviour Winters displayed over the series.

Kamwi was the first dark-skinned black woman to make it to the final of Love Island, and her coupling with Cruickshank – which fans have affectionately coined as “Kyler” – made them the first black couple to make it to the last hurdle of the show.

Kyler behind F*DDY??? It is giving racism it is giving brexit means brexit it's giving 'I'm not being funny but' it's giving "-x_sophie_x" #LoveIsland

— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) August 23, 2021

Like all the couples, their relationship had not been smooth. Cruickshank was introduced to the villa four weeks after the series began, he said he only had eyes for Kamwi. But after Casa Amor, his head was turned and he brought back Clarisse Juliette, only to regret his decision and return to Kamwi after several days.

The bump in the road was frustrating, but the chemistry between Cruickshank and Kamwi seems genuine and they make a stunning couple. Their drama was hardly close to Soares and Winters’ troubles and crucially, did not generate tens of thousands of complaints – but still, they lost out to the most problematic couple on the island.

The beauty of friendships

Despite the omnipresent nastiness of Love Island, there have been enjoyable moments in the show, namely watching the Islanders create and nurture friendships that will last long after the series wraps up.

The most touching friendship of them all blossomed between Kaz Kamwi and Liberty Poole, who were the first two people to set foot in the villa this year. Watching them has been nothing but a pleasure, as they shared more in their joy and sadness more than any romantic coupling that took place.

When Poole made her shock announcement that she was leaving the villa with former partner Jake Cornish after the pair fizzled out just days before the final, there wasn’t a single dry eye among the women. I welled up too, eventually bursting into real tears when Kamwi’s face crumpled as Poole made her exit.

Their friendships reminds me of my own with my best friend, who I had to bid goodbye to in 2019 when I moved away from home. It reminds me that female friendships are oftentimes far more significant and more emotionally absorbing than romantic ones.

It wasn’t just the women who developed close platonic bonds. One of my favourite moments among them was when Soares, licking his wounds after Winters’ now infamous outburst, shares his troubles with Amorolaran and Reardon.

Amorolaran tells his mate: “Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to wake up and think, ‘I need to feel better’. And also, don’t always think that it’s just down to you, we can take the load as well with you."

It is rare to see men be emotional and vulnerable with one another, and rarer still to hear men tell one another that they don’t have to carry a burden alone. I’d love to see more of Friendship Island, please.

Many long-standing Love Island punters have said this might be the end of the series, as TV audiences seem to have lost their appetite for cruelty and abject humiliation. But even if it does continue, I will not be watching it again. I’ve got the ick.