Dear Ali…

Dear Ali,

I’m in my early 30s and have been in a relationship for nearly a decade. In a lot of ways I feel like I’ve drifted through this long relationship because it was the easiest thing to do, and over time it has become harder and harder to imagine my life without my partner. She is my best friend, we have so much fun together, she’s incredibly kind and loving to me, and I can really be myself with her. All that being said, it’s not a passionate relationship and it never really was. I feel the sex is lacking because we aren’t on the same wavelength about what we want and it’s something I’ve tried to talk about, but I’m not sure that it is working. Sometimes I feel that just makes things worse because it puts her under pressure. And sometimes I feel the problem is