Writer's Digest

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK

Dear FYSA,

I’ve pitched during online events like #PitMad, but I don’t get bites. Is there something I can do to make my pitch stand out?

Sincerely, PitBad

Dear #PitBad,

Have you considered a confetti popper? I have been pondering carrying one around in my pocket for spontaneous use in moments that I feel need a little more zazzle, like: arguments with Husband, crowded subways, aaaaand eulogies.

But I keep reconsidering this move because maybe there are other ways to stand out that don’t induce so much yelling and vacuuming. In your case, I feel the same—there isn’t any zazzle needed, as

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