GOOD ADVICE!
Imagine you’re at a family gathering. You’re catching up with your aunt and a few cousins when you look over to see your three-year-old grab a toy away from another child and then smack her playmate on the arm. After you send your toddler off for a time-out, your cousin Betty pulls you aside and says, “You know, I think you could have handled that better.” She goes on to give you a lesson in disciplining children. How would you feel? Odds are, you wouldn’t be particularly grateful for the pro tip. You’d probably be demoralized or annoyed or both. No one likes to be lectured.
What’s ironic is that even though we can all see that receiving this kind of unsolicited advice is a giant downer, most of us have followed Cousin Betty’s script at one point or another.
It’s common to give out advice when we see someone straggling to achieve a goal. We often think guidance is just the thing they’re looking for, whether they ask for it or not.
Almost everyone knew what to do to overcome their problems; they just weren’t doing it.
Lauren Eskreis-Winkler was a graduate student when I met her a
