Rafaela Joffe Peerutin is a death doula – a job title that leaves many people wide-eyed. ‘You’re probably aware of the term “birth doula”, right?’ she smiles. ‘Essentially that’s at one end of life, and death doula is at the opposite end. The word “doula” means “to serve”. So it’s the same thinking: you’re providing a service, and companioning someone as they move along the end-of-life journey. We’re also called “soul doulas” or “end-of-life doulas”.
‘Mostly, when people hear what I do, they say, “Oh, I don’t know how you do it; I could never do that.” There’s no doubt that when I’ve become quite close to someone, I do feel sadness when they die. Because you do – you create a relationship. I really have to work hard at saying, “It’s not my story,” so I can go in being fully open and present. I don’t bring my own stuff to it. In that moment afterwards, I will reflect and I will feel sad, but I also feel honoured because it feels like a privilege to have been present at this person’s passing.’
What brought Rafaela to this particular vocation? ‘If
