Contrary to popular belief, you never completely get over a tragic loss, nor do you need to
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack-Up
In my clinical work, I routinely worked with families who were in conflict. I remember this one vividly An elderly man, the head of a three-generation family, suffered from advanced dementia. His adult son said he could cope with his father as long as he considered him a piece of furniture and did not bump into him. I will never forget that response or what followed. The little grandson spoke up immediately, telling his father that he was wrong, that his grandfather was still here. That little boy was my co-therapist that day.
He knew about both/and thinking, while his
