Seltzer Is Torture
Soda hurts me, and I’m not alone.
I do not like carbonated beverages, plain and simple. I won’t drink soda, and you’ll never catch me with a beer. Gin and tonics are a no. Sparkling water? A beast in disguise. Oh, the cocktail is not that fizzy, you say? I’ve heard that one before. And get your slushie out of my face. As I said, I do not like carbonated beverages. I do not like them at all.
I don’t just mean that they taste bad to me, the way soap or penicillin does. I mean that they me. They inflict actual, physical pain on my mouth. The sensation is prickly, like
