Bert I. Gordon made terrible movies for 60 years. He’s an inspiration

CHICAGO — Bert I. Gordon, who died earlier this spring at 100, was the absolute worst filmmaker who ever lived. Or so some might argue. You’ve heard Ed Wood was the worst. Or Roger Corman. Or maybe Michael Bay. But Gordon was not lousy for one or two decades. He was a terrible filmmaker for about 60 years, and when he got around to writing his memoir in 2010 (“The Amazing Colossal Worlds of Mr. B.I.G.: An Autobiographical Journey”), it was the absolute worst book ever written by a filmmaker. To borrow from the lurid posters for his movies, his talent, such as it was, screamed: Amazing! Towering! Beyond Description! Just not in a good way. You could say I’m unkind. But there’s poetry to this life: Bert I. Gordon was born in Kenosha, Wisconsin, seven years after Orson Welles was born in Kenosha. That’s the universe pranking us.

Or God laughing.

Before his name fades from memory (Gordon died within days of the Oscars this past March, yet didn’t make the in memoriam), before his couple dozen feature films get submerged forever into the digital