“You’re feeling nervous, aren’t you, boy? With your quiet voice and impeccable style,” Brandi Carlile sang in the opening lines of “The Joke” at the 2019 Grammy Awards. In that moment, I was watching TV at home, in awe of the singer as she strummed onstage in a black jacket sparkling with silver. I felt like she was right there, speaking to me. “Don’t ever let them steal your joy,” Carlile intoned. I knew what that joy was. I knew who
