WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. Your popularity is rock bottom. Everything you touch turns to shit. Your pal calls round, invites you out to take your mind off it all. “Take this,” they say, handing you a small roll of paper that suspiciously resembles a civil service memorandum. “It’ll make you feel better.” You feel a strange, rushing sensation. “Access reform,” you think. “I’ve got it!” Bold, visionary ideas race through your cortex, like salmon chasing eels.
Then, you awake,
