Dating has become an Olympic sport of fuckery – about as painstaking as a pentathlon (I imagine), with about as much grandeur and prestige as the shot put (sorry, guys).
Online dating, specifically, has brought a whole new meaning to ‘race against the clock’, and its immediacy has led many into an era of streamlining and dating optimisation, where max-efficiency trumps all.
With data from leading players in the online dating market, we explore all the competitive clans on the apps. A need for speed runs through each, with different tactics and goals along the way. Welcome to ‘the trenches’, as they say.
The time-savers
From ten-minute micro-dates to co-working coffees, these people are sprinting through the dating experience. They screen dates scrupulously, sidelining spontaneity in favour of multitasking, like going on dates during the workday (as 32% of Tinder users admit to) or using dates as pre-drinks for friend events. Time-wasting is the ultimate sin.
Jenny, 29, is a veteran of the functional hour-long date. “I make it clear it's all I have time for, and sometimes pretend I have plans to get to after,” says the London-based sustainability manager. “This way, if we don't want to see each other again, which is likely, then it's not a big deal.” Jenny uses a myriad of even more brutal tactics for those that don't tickle her fancy, too, such as running away from dates as soon as she spots them and fleeing as they queue for their first drink after they've
