Commentary: 'I don't have to be caged for your happiness': Why I find hope in today's queer youth
I don't know who exactly taught me I was going to hell.
It wasn't my parents. My mother, raised Southern Baptist, was clear that we attended the only Lutheran church for miles because the Lutherans weren't mean.
It wasn't my favorite childhood pastor. Over the course of two years in confirmation classes, he taught me in a deep and meaningful way why we believed what we believed — that we were saved by God's grace, not good works.
I think it was everyone else.
I grew up in a rural community of about 300 people in southeast Oklahoma, a region commonly referred to by residents as "Little Dixie." My hometown had one convenience store, a bar and about seven churches. There are plenty of stereotypes about this sort of "flyover country" being a terrible place to grow up queer, and they aren't entirely wrong.
Oklahoma lawmakers and luminaries have been full of anti-LGBTQ+ hate for decades, a good portion of it driven by religion. Christian singer Anita Bryant, known for hawking orange juice and anti-gay activism, hails from my home state. Former state Rep. Sally Kern made national headlines in 2008 when she said LGBTQ+ people were a bigger threat to our country than terrorism.
In 2022, Gov. Kevin Stitt signed a law requiring public school students to use only bathrooms that matched their assigned sex at birth. That's likely why 16-year-old transgender student Nex Benedict was in the girl's restroom when he was brutally beaten by a group of girls at his Oklahoma high school in February. He is alleged to have died by suicide the next day.
However, Oklahoma isn't the only tough — or dangerous — place to be young and have recently been pressured to abandon LGBTQ+ affirming policies by conservative groups, policies requiring parents to be alerted if their children identify as transgender — which queer advocates say is a violation of privacy and potentially dangerous. In a recent survey conducted by UCLA researchers, , 78%, reported their students had "made hostile or demeaning remarks to LGBTQ classmates."
