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Your correspondence to VIZ editor HAMPTON DOUBLEDAY
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EVERYONE harps on about dolphins being so intelligent, but if they’re out of the water too long they die, and if they stay under the water too long they die. The amount of time they spend in the water seems to be a critical factor for their survival. If they were so smart, why would they base their staying alive on such a knife-edge scenario? At least fish have worked out how to breathe in the water, and they’re as thick as fuck.
Damo, Sunny Guernsey
I RECKON I could knock out a heron, but could probably only stun an ostrich with a right hook. Have any other readers had such meaningful thoughts during a funeral?
Neil Shawcross, Prescot
ANTIQUITY tells us that Helen of Troy was so beautiful she had a face that launched a thousand ships. But that wouldn’t impress me unless she’s got a proper set of knockers too. Can any historians confirm whether her top bollocks were worth the effort of going to war or climbing into a wooden horse?
Michael Hughes, Adelaide
READING a paperback recently, I noticed on the front that Stephen King had said the book was “impossible to put down”. I’m not sure what problems he was having with it, but I was able to put it down quite easily. What’s more, I was able to pick it up again with similar ease. If Stephen King is reading this and would like some help, I would be very happy to talk him through what he might be doing wrong.
Peter Perkins,
