Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom
Written by William Glasser
Narrated by John Meagher
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
Dr. William Glasser offers a new psychology that, if practiced, could reverse our widespread inability to get along with one another, an inability that is the source of almost all unhappiness.
For progress in human relationships, he explains that we must give up the punishing, relationship–destroying external control psychology. For example, if you are in an unhappy relationship right now, he proposes that one or both of you could be using external control psychology on the other. He goes further. And suggests that misery is always related to a current unsatisfying relationship. Contrary to what you may believe, your troubles are always now, never in the past. No one can change what happened yesterday.
William Glasser
William Glasser, M.D., is a world-renowned psychiatrist who lectures widely. His numerous books have sold 1.7 million copies, and he has trained thousands of counselors in his Choice Theory and Reality Therapy approaches. He is also the president of the William Glasser Institute in Los Angeles.
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Reviews for Choice Theory
23 ratings5 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I re-read this book to encourage someone going through a struggle, and I'm glad I did. Sometimes, we think that people should change to make us feel better or that people need to adapt to our version on truth... the reality is that we all have choices. This book clearly articulates the power of taking control of ourselves and taking responsibility for the outcome. The how and the why.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I think everyone in America could benefit from this book! It was very well-written and easy to understand.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It’s amazing what a few choices can make on one’s life. ?
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Choice Theory as created by Glasser is really extraordinary. Basically humans choose everything that we do, we are in control directly or indirectly of everything.
Hold up there, then why are so many people depressed and miserable, you ask? Well, a person would not intentionally choose to be miserable, but they may choose behaviors and thoughts that make them so. See, the way Glasser puts it (as I understand it) is to say that humans have 5 needs: 1) Love and belonging, 2) Power 3) Survival 4) Freedom 5) Fun (I did not place them in any order). And we behave in ways to meet those needs. So, perhaps my need for love is lower than my need for freedom, I may jeopardize relationships with people in order to maintain freedom (which could at times also make me loney and unhappy). I may have such a strong need for love and belonging that I allow myself to be in an abusive relationship--as long as the abuser meets that need (the honeymoon period after violence where the abused is told he/she is loved and that the abuse will never happen again).
Here's the deal--humans all have different levels of these needs, and we need to be sure that the people in our lives (ie: romantic relationships) have similar needs as we do...or else it might lead to problems. (Can you imagine the relationship where Person A has a low need for Freedom, but a very high need for Love....being with Person B who has a very high need for Freedom and an average need for Love? Recipe for fighting? I think so...) There is no 'right' amount needed (although he speculates that sociopaths may have a far too low need for love) by anyone, but matching up with others may prove useful.
Here's the other big part of choice theory (formerly known as control theory): you can ONLY control your OWN behavior...not the behavior of others. Let that sink in a bit. You can't make other people do what you want them to do. The girl striving to get married can't force her boyfriend to propose any more than the parent (or teacher) can force the child to do school work. We can hope they will do it, but in the end you have to decide if you want to nag and guilt people into doing what you want them to, or if you want to maintain the strong relationship with the person.
Excellent book and a great way to think about human relationships. I'd say you should read it too. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I love this book. It sure does challenge other psychology theorists. Thinking outside of the square.