Damned

Written by Chuck Palahniuk

Narrated by Sophie Amoss

From the author of Fight Club, comes a dark, hilarious, and brilliant satire about adolescence, Hell, and the Devil.

Madison is the thirteen-year-old daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire. Abandoned at her Swiss boarding school for Christmas, she dies over the holiday, presumably of a marijuana overdose. The last thing she remembers is getting into a town car and falling asleep. Then she’s waking up in Hell. Literally.

Madison soon finds herself sharing a cell with a motley crew of young sinners: a cheerleader, a jock, a nerd, and a punk rocker, all united by their doomed fate, like a Breakfast Club of the damned. Together they form an odd coalition and march across the unspeakable landscape of Hell—full of used diapers, dandruff, WiFi blackout spots, evil historical figures, and one horrific call center—to confront the Devil himself.

“Brilliant. … Palahniuk’s descriptions of hell are inspired, crafted with great comic flair. … A winning and funny book.”—The Washington Post

• Language: English
• Publisher: Recorded Books, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9781705041215

Chuck Palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk’s fourteen novels include the bestselling Snuff; Rant; Haunted; Lullaby; Fight Club, which was made into a film by director David Fincher; Diary; Survivor; Invisible Monsters; and Choke, which was made into a film by director Clark Gregg. He is also the author of the nonfiction profile of Portland, Fugitives and Refugees, and the nonfiction collection Stranger Than Fiction. His story collection Make Something Up was a widely banned bestseller. His graphic novel Fight Club II hit #1 on the New York Times list. He’s also the author of Fight Club III and the coloring books Bait and Legacy, as well as the writing guide Consider This. He lives in the Pacific Northwest.

Reviews for Damned

[Kat Estrada · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

So Ok… at first I liked it. Character development always on point with chuck. But then it got to be a little TOO descriptive of mundane aspects but THEN it gets better and the ending made me fall in love with the book again. Nice work chuck ❤️

[juva_3 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The Breakfast Club. Set in Hell. A thirteen year old girl takes us on a tour of Hell. How do you end up in Hell and what do you do once you're there? Do you really have to abandon all hope or is that just a polite suggestion?

[Diane Cheney · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Exactly the kind of self aware "woke" bullshit style that Brian Griffin writes. Brian's writing it as a joke, inside the circle of Family Guy. Chuck actually is trying to be pithy and smart. So much a failure that I wanted to raise the main character from the dead just to kill her again. So bad it's uninteresting, and that's the absolute worst thing you can say about a book.

[fearshop · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

You have to love the crazy mind of Chuck Palahniuk. Always fun to read but saying that I have to admit Damned was a tad disappointing. Hoping the sequel to this is better. Still some mental images I will surely never forget.

[et.carole · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This was a strange book. The writing was excellent, but I detested the MC. Palahniuk got incredibly graphic in places, and there was no real conclusion. I've been disappointed.

[bdgamer-669415 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Chuck Palahniuk is known for writing novels that conjure gritty images, develop strong but unreliable narrators, and offer some form of commentary on life. Damned is no exception—in fact, it’s almost an archetypal Palahniuk work. I found the book refreshing if a somewhat muddled.

The very first thing I truly liked about the book was Maddie Spencer. She comes across as a snarky, pre-teen, chubby girl who is the daughter of a movie star and a billionaire. Her voices comes across as snarky and witty, but as time goes on, we find out that she’s quite naïve and stupid, which isn’t really surprising considering the fact that she’s only 13. Her perspective towards life as a quasi-celebrity and a pre-pubescent dead girl is interesting to read, and it works great in the picaresque nature of the narrative. Maddie grows over the chapters that take place on both hell and earth. The flashbacks work quite well to compound Maddie lack of interest in life; they complement her philosophy towards hell.

Palahniuk paints a very vivid description of the place, making it truly disgusting and revolting, yet somehow making it sound like not-such-a-bad-place-either. His version of hell somehow makes sense, for I can imagine where telemarketers and sex webcams come from. The place depicted also makes some sense, especially in the Great Ocean of Wasted Sperm, Vast Abyss of Insects, and Shit Lake. Another great thing I liked about hell is just how absurd it is—demons that can be bribed with candies, demons that love getting oral pleasure, etc.

Damned works as an excellent satire, harping on religion and how petty and ridiculous it can be. People are damned in Damned because they say “fuck” too many times, they pee in the swimming pool more than twice, and they honk more than 700 times during their lives. God doesn’t care whether you’ve been nice to people—He will damn you for silly reasons. Also, evolution is fake. Satan planted all those fossils to fool us!

The only problem I felt with Damned was its rather jumbled up narrative. It’s as if Palahniuk couldn’t decide what to do with his work. The narrative switches gear, stops, goes towards a different direction, stops, comes back again, and goes nowhere really. The commentary on fiction and reality also felt rather tacked on towards the end. Also, it ends rather abruptly.

Despite that, I really liked Damned. It’s a great read and works as an excellent audiobook (I did a combination of both). It’s laugh-out-loud funny at times and it showcases the pettiness of humanity and its religions in a new light.

[tduvally-355175 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Silly and just different enough from his usually stuff.

[jscape2000 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Meh? Was this funny? There was a Vonnegut-esque “I may be a [bad thing] but I’m not a [worse thing]” refrain that got me to chuckle a couple times. But by the time our teenage lost soul started an ass kicking historical warpath toward self empowerment, I was over her.

[roses7184_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Definitely not my favorite Palahniuk book, but there is actually a lot to Damned that I did in fact love. First off, Madison. Her attitude about Hell was hilariously glib and she was an enigma for most of the story. It might have been because the narrator of the audio book was so good at portraying this young and very matter of fact girl, but I loved her almost instantly. Madison definitely makes the book.

Also, when the synopsis says that this is "The Breakfast Club" in Hell, they really aren't kidding. Palahniuk has given the reader a wide array of characters to enjoy while exploring this dark, damp (and often gross) land of the dead. You have your punk rocker with a heart of gold. The jock who isn't as brave as he seems. Even the perfect cheerleader type, complete with fake blond hair and white shoes after labor day, makes an appearance. These characters take the reader on a wild ride.

What was a miss for me in this book was really the ending. I know a lot of people disliked Damned entirely, but I was honestly extremely invested until the ending of the book. It almost felt like a cop out to me. I get that Palahniuk is unpredictable. In fact, that's usually what draws me to his books. However I felt like I was missing something important that left a hole in my reading of this book. Not sure what, but it's definitely not there.

Anyway this rambling is simply meant to share that I did actually really enjoy listening to Damned, despite any flaws that it might have! Madison and her motley crew take the reader on a ride unlike any other. The ride through Hell itself. Don't go into this one expecting anything stunningly poignant, but rather go into it expecting the unexpected. Do that, and you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

[adaorhell · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Not Palahniuk's best, by a long run. The description of Hell & Madison's shitty parents are the best parts.

[chellebearss · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Madison Spencer is only 13 years old when she wakes up one day and finds herself in Hell. She writes to Satan and discusses her life before death when she was living with her celebrity parents. “Are you there, Satan? It’s me, Madison,”I originally started this on audio but it wasn't working for me so I switched to eBook and found I started to enjoy it more. It's a little cheesy but I found it entertaining. Apparently it's first in a proposed trilogy but I didn't enjoy it quite enough to seek out the others.“If you ask me, most people have children just as their own enthusiasm about life begins to wane.” “My parents meant well, but the road to Hell is paved with publicity stunts.”

[bucketofrhymes · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

So, this is my first Chuck Palahniuk book I've read (and probably not a great pick as an introduction to his books, if the reviews on here are any indicator). There's a lot I liked about it, including the sarcastic and irreverent take on religion and his general writing style. And there are some things that drive me up the wall, like the constant nicknames of the "Slutty von Slutski" variety, which made me want to stab my eyes out due to their sheer frequency. Will definitely be checking out more of his books, though.

[s_shane_thomas · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I rented a copy of Damned by Chuck Palahniuk from the local library and listened to the book in my car through the Overdrive app. I found a beautiful contradiction between the fall foliage visible on the New York Throughway and Palahniuk’s disgusting and hilarious descriptions of Hell.
I feel the need to state that I was biased to like this book because Fight Club really catalyzed a paradigm shift for me as I began the transition into adulthood. It would have been tough for me to end out disliking this book on his merit, but it stood on its own and won my fan-hood fair and square.

Damned is the tale of Madison, judgmental, self-deprecating, child of privilege who died and winds up in Hell. I felt immediately hesitant because I don’t get into stories with pessimistic characters. I find myself carrying their baggage back into reality. However, early in she falls into a clique that intentionally Mirrors the five kid dynamic of The Breakfast Club, an incredible coming of age film from the 80s. The interpersonal connections were intriguing and lured me ever onward. Madison also describes the indignity of the experience and some little sadistic part of me wanted to watch her suffer.

I perceived that Madison’s struggle throughout the novel is to “lose hope” as a part of coming to grips with the events of her life and her future in the afterlife.

His descriptions of Hell and the forms of torture awaiting the unsaved had be laughing out loud, and I don’t mean texting “lol” while driving the throughway. As I have often suspected it might be, Plahniuk’s Hell has a few horrors of the mundane living world. I’ve even spent a couple months at a desk performing one of Hell’s jobs. There was a satisfying amount of research and fact dropping regarding Hell’s hierarchy and while not necessary, I was thankful I once read Dante’s Inferno, if only to enjoy several references.

I had an incredible journey in the mind of a thirteen year old girl. There is one scene that threw me straight back to 1993 when I was on a bus coming home from grade school, debating reproduction with our ignorant prepubescents. I felt like he’d created a mental time machine just for me!
I made a few guesses based on well played foreshadowing, some panned out, others went right over my head until I just shook my head and gave Palahniuk a silent nod and a grin. His ends wraps up Maddie’s journey of self-discovery and opens up what I hope is covered in Doomed. I’m looking forward to the next installment.

[brakketh-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A young girl dies and then finds that hell isn't that bad really.

[memccauley6 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

You know that old joke “If she’s here, then who’s running hell?” – It’s Madison Spencer, the overweight, smart-mouthed lonely child of fabulously rich and famous Hollywood parents. Not for the squeamish or easily offended, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one

[john_warner-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Madison Spenser, the novel's thirteen year old protagonist and daughter of movie star parents has been damned to Hell for what she believes to be an overdose on marijuana. She finds herself in a cell along with Hell's version of the 1980's Breakfast Club denizens: the cheerleader, jock, nerd, and punk rocker. After escaping from her cell, she leads the group across the Dandruff Desert and through the Valley of Used Disposable Diapers to Hell's headquarters where she obtains employment as a telephone surveyor of the living's buying habits whom she calls during meal times. The remainder of the novel entails Madison's coming of age adventures as she seeks to conquer Hell. This latest novel by Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, will have you laughing out loud.

[jimocracy · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book started out slow; like some kind of twist to Dante's version. Then things picked up and I was really getting into Madison's story and thinking I would totally love this book. Unfortunately, there is an anti-climactic twist and the ending fizzled out.

[edward.lorn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

3.5 stars.

Dear God,

I want to go to Hell, ‘kay? Thanks bunches!

Damned is the first book I’ve enjoyed from Palahniuk since… Diary, I think. His first four or five novels were fantastic, and then we received such disasters as Tell Tale, Snuff, and Pygmy (The latter was written entirely in phonetic English. Le sigh…). Because I was so shell shocked by Pygmy I completely skirted Rant, because it seemed to be written in the form of interviews, a style I’ve never enjoyed. The only reason I picked up Damned is that I found a hardcover edition for three bucks. Boy, am I ever glad I bought it.

I had big fun traversing Chuck Palahniuk’s version of Hades. His descriptions are vivid and disgusting, just the way I like my hellish landscapes. A place where candy bars are used as a form of currency and Hitler gets what’s coming to him is a place I want to vacation. A standout section of this book for me was the gang riding a giantess into the central hub of Hell. What preludes this ride is some of the funniest adult entertainment I’ve ever read. Gives a whole new meaning to the term giving head.

I must note that I was rather taken aback by the way the author tackled a sensitive subject: having a boy brag about being a school shooter. Even though the kid’s lying, it took me out of the story for a second so that I could consider whether or not I wanted to continue. If you think you’d be put off by such, you might want to skip this book. I don’t know why I was surprised, given that Palahniuk’s never been known for being politically correct, but my own personal opinion is that the scene was tactless and unnecessary.

One of the major selling points of a Chuck Palahniuk book is the guarantee of a twist. Damned is no different. Somehow, I didn’t see the mid-point mindfuck coming, even though it was pissing in my face the entire time, so my hat’s off to the author for that one. Yet, I was disappointed in the final curve ball. Seemed… oddly enough, very Stephen King-ish. You’ll have to read this one to understand why I say that, but if you liked the final three Dark Tower novels, you should love Damned.

In summation: Not Palahniuk’s best, but well worth the read. I will be reading the sequel, Doomed, in the near future, and I’m looking forward to more of the author’s unique imagings. I’ve heard it said that readers of Palahniuk judge one another on which of his books are their favorite. Here’s mine: Invisible Monsters. Nuff said.

[carleyshea · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was my first experience reading Palahniuk (outside of Fight Club) and I am a huge fan. This is a novel about a chubby 13-year-old named Madison who dies unexpectedly and finds herself in Hell. She teams up with a ragtag group of Breakfast Club-esque teenagers and explores her new home, while reflecting on her time on Earth and what could have caused her to end up in Hell. Each chapter begins with a little letter from Madison, to Satan. It's super witty and a truly solid read. I laughed multiple times while reading it on an airplane and the man beside me seemed super entertained by my entertainment. There's a great twist in the book that I didn't see coming, and that's rare for me. I'm the friend who everyone else refuses to watch TV shows and movies with because I always guess the ending. If you've never read Palahniuk, this is a really good start. Not too heavy, but still very much a similar feel. And, there's a sequel, in case you're like me and need a bit more of Madison.

[gregorio_roth · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a book that should be read by church members, but will probably never be read there. It goes over our philosophy of hell and what is its meaning in the 21st century. Great read. Funny through out and not once did I want to write him a letter complaining about his theology. He is very accurate in his sins of our current culture.

[agvuerdua-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It had been touted as “Dante’s Inferno meets The Breakfast Club.” This description was the reason I picked it up! However, it was a little too literal. In the book we meet Madison, a caustic 13 year old girl, only-child to Hollywood stars, who had the misfortune of expiring much too soon. She, the seemingly awkward wallflower, bands together a group of other young, damned souls: the pretty girl, the rebel, the jock, and the nerd…see, literally the same group of angsty teens from the 1985 John Hughes flick!It's written in the first-person voice of Madison herself and was easy enough to read, but at times maybe too easy. The plot itself is one held together with a thin thread, in my opinion. Yes, we get from start to finish, but something about all the in-between left me questioning it’s chapter’s layout.There were more than a few lines that made me laugh out loud, but most of it was read wanting to get through it all quickly. It’s not the grotesque, detailed imagery of environments and settings truly fit for the darkest depths of Hell that got me, I had expected that from Palahniuk, who’s ‘shock and disgust’ writing style I had come to like. It was more Madison’s own prose. In the beginning, it was cute and funny…but half-way in it grew to be tiring and monotonous.In the end, I was more happy with finishing it than with how it ended. I’m not sure if I would recommend this to anyone for any other reason than gross-out factor alone.

[elliepotten · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Although this still hasn't topped my first Palahniuk - Rant - I definitely felt a sense of the familiar madness descending as I plunged headfirst into this novel. Basically, Damned is the testimony of a thirteen year-old dead girl called Madison, who wakes up in a cell in Hell and proceeds to take Hades by storm, befriending a demon (and a bunch of other teenage inmates), defeating Hitler, finding she has a knack for telemarketing (one of the two career options in Hell - the other being dodgy porn webcam sites) and generally becoming a bit of a celebrity in the Underworld. Meanwhile, we slowly piece together bits of her life and death, while Madison hunts for Satan to try to find out exactly why and how she ended up here. It's all very bizarre, a bit gross, vaguely jumbled and occasionally shocking - and I raced through it, as usual. Very tentatively recommended - Palahniuk is definitely not for everyone!

[morgantaylor-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

While this book did include some interesting and funny takes on subject matter such as death and religion I found a lot of it childish and while Palahniuk can usually pull off vulgarity as a key part of a story a lot of the gross and absurd scenes seemed completely unnecessary in this novel.

[yougotamber · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Palahniuk played with fantasy and I loved it. This isn't my favorite but I bow down to him for his excellent imagination (which has made him one of my favorite Authors). He has again produced something entirely unique with a writing style still jam packed with useless information. Bravo Chuck, Bravo.

[y2ash · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

“No, it’s not fair, but what makes earth feel like Hell is our expectation that it should feel like Heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. It won’t help the situation for you to get all upset.” - Madison Spencer

This is a 2.8 review.

Chuck Palahniuk's Damned is about 13 year old Madison Spencer. She's the product of secular Buddhists celebrity parents who adopt random children from third world countries. Madison's smart for her age. She's also dead and Hell's newest citizen. Madison finds herself a bevvy of "friends" while reminiscing about her old life. She's a recovering "hopeaholic."

However, she decides to stop being a nice girl and start asserting herself. She gains the upper hand on all of Humanity's undesirables including Hitler and Caligula. Her world is upended by the fact that her admittance may have been a clerical error and that The Power That Is might be the one pulling her strings. So what's Madison to do?

Palahniuk's writing reminds me of Diablo Cody's screenwriting: it's a little too hype, if that makes any sense. It was also a little too vulgar for my taste. I mean, he did use wonderfully descrpitive adjectives and I am a little prudish but still, too much for me.

I don't think I ever read such a narrative that was polarizing from chapter to chapter. One chapter, I would be totally disgusted with everybody's behavior and the gross descriptions of the equally gross landscape of hell but by the next chapter? I would think it was endearing. Case in point: Madison accidentally contacting her parents and her letting them know everything they believed spiritually is true.

I have such a love-hate relationship with Damned. I liked the concept. I like the twists. I liked the mythology although the infractions that guaranteed a character's damnation was a bit juvenile. However, it still didn't sit right with me.

[ahappybooker · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I've discovered by reading this that I am not a big fan of satire. Not even extremely well written satire, which this certainly is. So while I personally didn't like it, I would still recommend it to those who enjoy this type of book.

Damned follows the 13year old protagonist, Madison, as she wakes up in Hell after overdosing on marijuana. Each chapter begins "Are you there Satan, it's me Madison" with a little note to Satan. Madison is a sarcastic and cynical girl who has been alternately spoiled and neglected by her rich, famous, and "free-thinking" parents. She joins a group of her peers, reminiscent of The Breakfast Club, as they journey through Hell searching for Satan. Throughout Damned is an overabundance of pop-culture references, blood, gore, and all manner scenes designed to disgust and offend even the most broad minded reader. There were some moments that were laugh out loud funny, but most of the humor read more like the college equivalent of a fart joke.

This book is much too explicit to be appropriate for teens and much to corny to appeal to most adults, so I believe that this would mainly appeal to the same demographic that enjoys movies about college frat parties and the like.

[amsee-2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Maddy Spencer is dead. And you're not. Isn't that just great for you?What's even better is that she's in Hell meeting all sorts of new people and learning a lot, not that she's stupid. She may be thirteen for the rest of eternity, but she knows what “condescending” means.If there's one thing I can always count on Chuck Palahniuk for is a quick read. If work (and sleep) hadn't gotten in the way, I could have finished this in less than the three days it took me. Fast-paced and funny, this book had me reading pieces of it out loud, much to my fiancé's chagrin and eventual amusement.

[jwarren42 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

After page 100 or so, the book really does get going. Getting to page 100 is a bit of a chore, though. There were some plot points that I wish he'd taken more time with because they're fascinating (like the script concept). Like it or don't, though, we have to give massive respect to an author who cranks out a novel a year like clockwork.

[crdf-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

A rather slow going book. Although I liked the settings and the hell description, could not recommend this book.

[tealightful · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

As an avid Palahniuk fan, I was ecstatic to acquire this book at his latest signing in Portland.

Unfortunately, the book felt too much as if it was pandering to a very dumb audience. The storyline was scattered and felt like it kept losing itself. It was, and this is hard for me to say about one of my favorite authors, truly boring. Not even at its most gruesome, was it engaging. He wrote pure bile and vulgarity with no tie-in's or big message or anything twisty-turny as is his trademark.

Every author has to have their flops, I suppose, and this is definitely his.