Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
This program is read by the author.
From the New York Times bestselling author of The Vanishing American Adult, an intimate and urgent assessment of the existential crisis facing our nation.
Something is wrong. We all know it.
American life expectancy is declining for a third straight year. Birth rates are dropping. Nearly half of us think the other political party isn’t just wrong; they’re evil. We’re the richest country in history, but we’ve never been more pessimistic.
What’s causing the despair?
In Them, bestselling author and U.S. senator Ben Sasse argues that, contrary to conventional wisdom, our crisis isn’t really about politics. It’s that we’re so lonely we can’t see straight—and it bubbles out as anger.
Local communities are collapsing. Across the nation, little leagues are disappearing, Rotary clubs are dwindling, and in all likelihood, we don’t know the neighbor two doors down. Work isn’t what we’d hoped: less certainty, few lifelong coworkers, shallow purpose. Stable families and enduring friendships—life’s fundamental pillars—are in statistical freefall.
As traditional tribes of place evaporate, we rally against common enemies so we can feel part of a team. No institutions command widespread public trust, enabling foreign intelligence agencies to use technology to pick the scabs on our toxic divisions. We’re in danger of half of us believing different facts than the other half, and the digital revolution throws gas on the fire.
There’s a path forward—but reversing our decline requires something radical: a rediscovery of real places and human-to-human relationships. Even as technology nudges us to become rootless, Sasse shows how only a recovery of rootedness can heal our lonely souls.
America wants you to be happy, but more urgently, America needs you to love your neighbor and connect with your community. Fixing what's wrong with the country depends on it.
Praise for Them:
“Sasse is highly attuned to the cultural sources of our current discontents and dysfunctions...Them is not so much a lament for a bygone era as an attempt to diagnose and repair what has led us to this moment of spittle-flecked rage...a step toward healing a hurting nation.” — National Review
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Reviews for Them
59 ratings9 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a thought-provoking and insightful book that offers workable solutions to rebuild communities. The writing is scholarly yet relatable, providing eye-opening insights into American life and community. Regardless of party affiliation, readers will learn something new and feel a civic duty toward changing the way we speak and relate to one another. The book offers a balanced perspective and encourages healthy debate, making it a must-read for any American looking to make a positive impact on their community.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Good, solid, workable solutions to rebuild your community around you. Quick read with easy to digest topics. Sasse has a bent towards the world of technology, future automation and how that ties into the workforce, social structure and beyond. Sometimes it felt like Sasse is taking you on a trek through a forest, but ultimately you pop out into an open meadow with a better understanding of the landscape. Simply put, he can get deep into a topic and you might not understand where he's going with it, but he reliably brings it back around to connect with the books larger point.
3 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Senator Sasse’s writing is the perfect balance between scholarly and relatable, and his insights into American life and community are eye opening. Regardless of your party affiliation (which I think I can say as a young Democrat), you’ll learn something from this book you never even thought of and feel a civic duty toward changing the way we speak and relate to one another in our daily lives. 10/10 recommend!
2 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Love it truth is hard to see but u will see it in this book
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A must read for any American. Not to just read it but to start implementing it. That’s when things change.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great guide to thinking and acting for a great good!
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Interesting, well written. I will be adding him to my Twitter feed!
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Senator Sasse lays out a convincing narrative of how we got into this mess. I think there's hope in his recommended solutions as well. I'll work to reserve the label of "Them" to those who aim to divide us as "we" find commonality as communities especially during healthy debate.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5this was a very thought-provoking book. it is something that should be read by the hardcore Fox news conservatives and the MSNBC liberals alike. let's turn off hannity and maddow out for a bit, shall we?
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5As a progressive, I disagreed with a lot of what he had to say, but I think he honestly sets out his beliefs. He's right that although we can't ever expect to agree on everything, and we shouldn't pretend to agree just to get along, we can disagree and still get along.
1 person found this helpful