Loyal to a Fault: How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left You Hurting

Written by Courtney J. Burg

Narrated by Courtney J. Burg

Read by the author.

Do you find yourself living as the people pleaser or peacekeeper? Do you avoid conflict? Learn how to overcome your fears about setting boundaries and step into a life that's overflowing with love, respect, and healthy relationships.

We are people who love patterns, even if returning to these patterns continues to hurt us or those we love. Some of the most harmful patterns of behavior are passed down through generations and inherited, often without our permission or awareness. The conflict arises when these behaviors are so deeply woven into early family systems that they later become part of our identities, clashing with who God has created and called us to be.

As a child, Courtney Burg quickly learned that remaining loyal to others meant keeping secrets, even if these secrets were keeping those she cared for most sick. Her efforts to sustain the peace followed her into adulthood and slowly left her depleted, discouraged, and drowning in the chaos—until Courtney discovered that not only did God grant her permission to engage in relationships differently, but that he gave her specific instruction on how to do so. 

In Loyal to a Fault, Courtney Burg unpacks the various ways we cope with, enable, and participate in unhealthy relationships or generational trauma. Using personal examples and providing practical wisdom, Courtney helps you break free from codependent patterns by:

• Identifying the role you are playing in keeping the dysfunctional patterns going.
• Reframing what it means to love and remain loyal to those who matter most.
• Reminding you that boundary work is a biblical practice.

 

It is possible to learn how to love others well without losing yourself along the way. People pleasing, complaining, and exhaustion may be today's norm, but at any moment you can choose to do things differently. Begin setting boundaries and start enjoying relationships in all the ways God designed you to.

Reflection questions and charts can be found in the audiobook companion PDF download.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: Dec 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9781400335879

Courtney J. Burg

Courtney J. Burg is the founder of Discover Your Worth, an online membership designed to support women with practical tools to break free from codependency while establishing a healthy boundary practice. Through self-led video coursework and supplemental material, women from all over the world are finding this resource a key component in reclaiming their peace and setting down dysfunctional patterns of behavior for good. Courtney has an undergrad degree in Psychology from the University of Florida and is currently pursuing her Master’s in Evangelism and Leadership with the Propel Cohort at Wheaton College. She and her husband, Jim, live in South Florida with their four young children.

Reviews for Loyal to a Fault

[followafterhim · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What a beautiful, well-written book. I came across this at the exact time I needed it. It is very knowledgeable, thorough, and sensitive to our personalities. Thank you for sharing your God-given gift, Courtney. I hope to put into practice the lessons I am learning in your book. God bless you!

[LINDSAY MEDINA · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Beat book ever to learn to set up boundaries and have healthy communication . After a breakup it’s the best to go through