How to Be Funny: The Ultimate Guide to Making Funny Speeches

By Ethan James

Read the latest knowledge on funny speeches and explore over 200 pages filled with guides, tips and advices on how to write and present persuasive humorous speeches. Discover speech examples, topics, quotes and jokes to make your speech unforgettable.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 1, 2001
• ISBN: 9781617927546

Ethan James

Ethan James earned a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Corpus Christi, Texas; a Master of Divinity from Golden Gate Seminary, Mill Valley, California; and a Doctor of Ministry from Fuller Seminary, Pasadena, California. James was director of Sonburst Counseling Services and has extensively counseled clients affected by post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of sexual abuse, war, accidents, or complex grief.

Book preview

HOW TO BE FUNNY

The Ultimate Guide to Making Funny Speeches

ISBN: 9781617927546

Ethan James

Dedication

This eBook is dedicated to all of those creative people who wish to make fascinating and entertaining speeches, but who are not quite sure how to go about doing so.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: How to Be Funny

Chapter 2: Can I BE Funny?

Chapter 3: What Is Humor?

Chapter 4: Tension

Chapter 5: Get Animated

Chapter 6: How to Make an Audience Laugh

Chapter 7: The Event

Chapter 8: The Audience

Chapter 9: Decide on Your Persona

Chapter 10: Your Opening Joke

Chapter 11: Listen

Chapter 12: Keep It Short

Chapter 13: How to Write a Joke

Chapter 14: The Setup

Chapter 15: The Punch Line

Chapter 16: How to Write Funny Speeches

Chapter 17: Component 1 – The Topic

Chapter 18: Component 2 – The Outline

Chapter 19: Component 3 – Developing Your Angle

Chapter 20: Component 4 – Writing the Speech

Chapter 21: Component 5 – Punch It Up 

Chapter 22: Component 6: Rehearsing Your Speech

Chapter 23: Component 7 – Giving Your Speech

Chapter 24: Body Language and Dramatic Pauses

Chapter 25: Actually Speaking to the Audience 

Chapter 26: How to Win Your Audience Back

Chapter 27: A Sample Speech on Car Sales

Sample Speeches on Various Topics

101 Story Ideas

One-liners

Using Quotes

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

My idea for this eBook was conceived while watching the CFO of a Fortune 500 company give a speech at a stockholders’ meeting. Where is it written that finances have to be so boring a topic that yawning becomes the facial expression for most of the audience?

There could not have been enough oxygen in that hall to fully revive those unfortunate listeners. Since the company’s finances were in rather good shape, why was it necessary to ponderously go through endless minutes discussing dozens of complicated ratios without a break?

What could have saved the mind-numbing day for the shareholders present was a bit of humor occasionally disbursed among all that dry verbiage.

In order to enhance future speech making for anyone charged with this daunting task, I have spent years studying humor and how to make it work best for presenters. Much of the time was consumed absorbing the techniques of stand-up comedians, renowned motivational speakers and doing a mammoth amount of reading. Then, I made numerous presentations and took to heart as well as analyzed what worked, what didn’t and why.

After all that preparation, I am now very optimistic that you will benefit from what I have learned and will share with you in this eBook. Let’s begin!

Chapter 1

HOW TO BE FUNNY

If two rabbis, a priest, and a monkey walk into a bar owned by a horse, but no one is there to see it, could you call this event humorous?

Since the days of Vaudeville, the answer would be, No. In fact, even if you were there to see it with your very own eyes, it probably wouldn't serve as humorous. Blame the political climate. Now, you see rabbis and priests together all the time, when it used to be that they never really hung out together. Furthermore, if you saw a monkey with them, you'd likely assume one of the men was somewhat disabled and that monkey was only there for assistance.

Honestly, if you saw a bar owned by a horse, would you be all that surprised? He probably got a deal as a minority owner; hence, his financing was lower, his regulations more lax, and his business would be a niche market in which investors could thrive. Who wouldn't want to dump a little money into the only cantina in town owned by a horse? The marketing campaign writes itself!

The point is that whatever makes us laugh has changed – and not just recently, but over the course of human history. It has evolved along with human beings and the goings-on we have faced since we separated ourselves from the Neanderthals.  Humor was there when mammoths walked the earth and women started poking fun at their men for being even hairier than the beasts.  

It was alongside us when we were developing weapons, as the guys who had the bows and arrows kept teasing the guys who only had spears for getting trampled.

It was also there on the beach, when we were fourteen, and the bully was kicking sand in our face in front of the girl we loved.

Even though the topics that make us laugh have changed, the significance of laughter has not.  It has always been - and will always be - a very deep, primal form of communication that alleviates anxiety and stress, shows acceptance of an individual by another individual, and an indicator of emotional investment into what a person is saying. Studies have shown that as a reliever of stress and a coping mechanism in times of duress, laughter is good for the mind, body, and soul.  Even the most hardened and jaded human beings alive need a good laugh every once in a while.  

In fact, the only thing people need more than laughter itself is the people who can make them laugh.

Mother Nature and everyday circumstances give us loads of funny fuel (how dogs meet and how swim suits one size too big are pulled off when someone jumps into a swimming pool come to mind), but the person every society needs is the person who can make its citizenry laugh.  Thanks to all the economic uncertainty, wars, and famines across the globe, the individuals who possess the ability to make others smile will forever be in high demand.  Why?  It's simple: because people need to break free from their troubles, and laughter can do that. 

Actually, laughter and music are great releases, but this isn't about how to play a guitar.  It's about how to be funny. 

Chapter 2

CAN I BE FUNNY?

Can you be funny? Now, that’s a loaded question.

Interestingly enough, there is a pretty heated debate regarding whether a person is born funny or becomes funny.  Some people believe that being funny is genetic, carried on a gene through generations – much like skin or eye color.  This school of thought believes that if your great-great-great-grandfather could spin a humorous yarn about conquering a poorly-equipped army, chances are you stand a better chance of getting people to laugh about your trip to the hair salon than the lady who lives down the hall.  

Others think that being perceived as funny is a matter of conditioning, of one's upbringing conflicting with real events in his or her life – of ideology colliding with actuality.  An example would be a child growing up hearing that there's no such thing as The Boogeyman; but, then, one day, he sees The Boogeyman on his way to work, carrying a briefcase and sporting a tie (he looks very stylish, by the way).  Now, people on this side of the Funny Fence believe that it is his interpretation of that moment that will determine whether or not he is indeed funny.

Who is right?  You decide.

First off, let us take a look at behavior in general.  For those of you for whom behavior may be too broad a term, for the sake of this argument, behavior means the guiding force which dictates the actions other people see us take.' From temper tantrums to whether or not we give back a dollar we find lying on the street, behavior is our thought process that determines what we do next. 

Innate behaviors - those with which we are born - are unlearned, meaning that we can do them without being taught.  A good example would be hunger forcing us to seek food or quickly pulling away from a heated object before we get burned. Searching for food when hungry would be classified as an instinct, as it includes more complex processes – involving the whole body – that help determine survival.  Yanking one's hand away from a hot kettle would be considered an automatic, reflexive action where no thought is involved, and it includes only a part of the body.  The stimulus (heat) sends a nerve impulse along the finger, through the hand and arm, and into the spinal column, where the nervous system screams, Yowzer!

More simply put, instinct involves the brain and is geared toward ensuring one's survival; reflexes do not involve the brain and help make that survival a little less uncomfortable.

Humor is communication, of that there can be no doubt.  Be it a guy off in the distance you see slip on a banana peel or a joke from Jerry Seinfeld dissecting the everyday minutia and annoyances we all experience, humor communicates thoughts, ideas, and situations to us that we, in turn, must interpret.  For example, "That guy was so unaware of his surroundings that he didn't see a banana peel in front of him. Or Jerry's right!  That's EXACTLY how I feel about marriage!"

How we interpret events or issues – and, thus, how funny we find them – is actually based on how much we identify with those situations.  

When it comes to comedy, things like physical humor (think Jim Carrey and Buster Keaton) and prop comedy (Carrot Top) are often hilarious because they communicate tangible oxymorons.  What's an oxymoron?  It is a very important tool to have in your box if you ever want to be funny.

In writing, an oxymoron is two opposing words used in conjunction with each other to describe something. Jumbo shrimp,  freezer burn, and seriously funny are some examples.  You see how this works?  You know shrimp are small, freezers have no heat, (so how do they burn?), and something that is serious is never considered funny:

Doctor: Mr. Jones, I'm afraid your wife didn't make it through the surgery.

Mr. Jones: Ha-ha!

See?  It doesn't work in practice, but somehow works in literature.  

Good physical and prop comedy utilize the visual oxymoron; and, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then seeing something in person is worth forty million.   When you see that guy who has been walking his whole life slam into a light pole, or you see a comedian using a rubber chicken as a hammer, the universe you know collides with an alternate reality, and that can cause laughter.

Oxymorons can be very powerful, effective tools in getting people to laugh; but, because they work on such a basic, almost primal level, unfortunately, they do not seem to have a very lasting humorous effect.  People understand it and appreciate it, but it's really hard to say they ever truly identify with it.  Think about it: you've been walking for how long?  Have you ever been walking down the street, reading the paper, and fallen into a manhole?  Have you ever used a hair dryer as a gun to hold up a liquor store?  Chances are, no, you haven't.  

It is for this reason that physical comedy and prop comedy take a lot of work and creativity.  If the oxymoron is your primary vehicle for humor, you'd better be ready to work hard at it because, like a topical joke on Late Night television, its funny lifespan is very short.

Now that you know a little bit more about the oxymoron and that it is really a collision of worlds, you might be led to favor the funny is learned argument.  After all, how can worlds collide unless you've been alive to know that there are two of them?  

Now, let's dissect physical comedy – apart from prop comedy.

The examples used earlier involved a poor sap, unaware of his surroundings, who met an odd demise of some sort.  Yes, they coincide with the oxymoron (an understanding of which indicates a learned response), but think of how parents the world over try to get their babies and young children to laugh.  They do things such as pouring water over their heads, pretend to fall, or make funny faces to illicit a laugh from the children, either to let them know things are going to be okay or just to get them to stop watching so much television.  The humor derived from this type of physical comedy is a bit different, as it introduces another aspect of not just physical, but any type of comedy: the idea of the victim.

While not every joke needs a victim, it certainly does help to have one.  Yes, the previous examples of physical comedy involved the man walking down the street as the victim, but they were designed more to emphasize the oxymoron.  Victims in comedy elicit a completely different response from the audience, and that is caused by the thought, Hey: at least it's not me.  Laughing about someone else's misfortune is a survival instinct response; the joke is funny because you survived.  

Now, we're not implying that catastrophes are funny, just simple, non-calamitous things like the girl being outsmarted or the guy with a bucket of paint dumped on his head when he enters a room. – that kind of situation.  In these cases, that survival laugh - while superficial - is in every way indicative of an instinctual, innate response to funny.

 However, in no way are genuinely tragic things or events ever funny, outside of a comedy club, at least. There is a key exception to this rule, though, and that is if the person delivering the humor is actually the one suffering from whatever the real malady is.  For example, Josh Blue and Sean Rouse are both successful comedians; Blue has cerebral palsy and Rouse has severe rheumatoid arthritis.

 They've got the license the poke fun at these things; and, while one does so more than the other, their ailment is readily apparent when you see them.  Actually, each has got no option BUT to address his condition because it's the hulking, 500-pound gorilla in the room. Since each is the victim - the one actually suffering - he can get away with using otherwise delicate topics like these without any problem.  

Long-time comedian Chris Fonseca - also a life-long battler with cerebral palsy - is a fantastic example of someone with a very visible physical disability who utilizes it in his act.  THE pioneer of comedians with disabilities, he's confined to a wheelchair, dubs himself America's Original Sit-Down Comic, and carries the self-proclaimed nickname of Crazy Legs.  What makes him (and Blue and Rouse) such a wonderful comedian is that he has somehow managed to take the weight of the world on his shoulders for his entire life and to make it humorous?  He's endearing and genuinely funny; and, even though his disability makes up a good chunk of his professional act, when you see him, you lose sight of the fact that he's got any handicap whatsoever.   

People who battle cancer or fight Parkinson's (or a host of other diseases and disabilities) have that same comedic license.  However, they and only they can do those types of jokes. Someone who's never been in their shoes cannot touch these topics, as they extend beyond the realm of good taste and are mean.  

While this type of comedy does not elicit that Hey: at least it's not me response, it does hit the listener's emotional center like a laser beam.  

Communication is the fundamental social need of human beings.  It is what builds entire societies, establishes norms and mores (and, thus, laws of the land) and keeps us together as we ride this roller coaster of life.  We are social - by nature - and this type of comedy, where the victim is actually humor's delivery vehicle, helps communicate the idea to us that despite physical differences, we are all connected.  We are all sharing this world with one another and deep, genuine humor from people suffering from things we fear – while facing life with an apparent disadvantage - is a stark reminder of that fact.

Here, humor is innate.

Still, you could argue that these comedians learned to be funny.  They studied the structure of jokes at some school or watched other comedians who came before them to help develop their craft.  All of which is true, but there does seem to be one inarguable fact of humor - of funny - that the adherents to the you-have-to-learn-it school can't seem to shake, and that is that laughter and humor are coping mechanisms.

What better way to learn (and to make people laugh) than to make the subject more personal and identifiable to you, the audience?

You have a job, right?  It causes you both on- and off-site stress and it taxes your personal and social life?  After all, there's a reason they give working such flattering monikers as The Grind, Rat Race, and Dream Killer.  Pretend that this one particular day, your stress level is maxed out and has reached epic proportions.  Your phone won't stop ringing, you've got paperwork stacking up, and your office printer is backed up with jobs in process.  Furthermore, you're not even half way through the work day.  

Suddenly, you just start laughing.  It starts with a little giggle, builds to a chuckle, then a chortle, and then all-out laughter.  You are doing a belly laugh like no other.  Even though your breaking point has been reached, you are laughing away like you just saw Blazing Saddles for the first time.  There is no rhyme or reason; it just happens.  

It also just happens when your doctor has to reset your broken finger or when you are overly embarrassed.  When you've reached your breaking point, when you're trapped in that proverbial corner, you often realize things are so out of your control that you have nothing to do BUT laugh.  That is laughter - or funny - as a coping mechanism.  Nobody ever taught you to do that or told you when to do it. It just happens.  It's a reflexive response to outside stimuli that... wait.... Reflexive?  Doesn't that imply innate?

Yes, it does, and not subtly.  Just as no one teaches you to pull your hand away from the hot stove, no one teaches you to laugh or find humor when you've reached your breaking point.  An undeniably reflexive response, laughter as a coping mechanism has proven to be a thorn in the craw for those saying that funny can only be learned.  

Funny is in you.  Funny is there for you when you need it.  Finding something funny helps you get through life just as your lungs, heart and ability to walk and run.  It's a tool in your brain for you to use as you work your way through the experience of life. All you've got to do is figure out how to use it.

Therefore, to answer the question of whether or not a person is born or becomes funny, it is safe to assume that funny is a result of both.  To use some random percentages, being funny is like being successful. It's 10% inspiration, and 90% perspiration.

Since it is within you, it is up to you to learn how to communicate humor to others.  Even the most boring, most methodical number cruncher at the office has funny in her, but it's likely that she has not devoted the time to develop that humor for others to enjoy.  You've got to put in the work if you want to be funny, and that means watching funny movies, reading books (like this one) on how to be funny, and trying out your funny ideas on those around you.  

Comedian Chris Rock put it best on Oprah.  After his HBO special Bring the Pain, his superstar status skyrocketed.  He went from an unknown, middle-of-the-road comic making appearances in movies to a show stopper overnight.  However, this was AFTER he'd been Eddie Murphy's protégé in the smaller night clubs, doing free gigs and treacherous Open Mic nights.  This was after he'd attained some celebrity status on the TV show Saturday Night Live.  His career was already seventeen - SEVENTEEN - years in the making when Bring the Pain aired for the first time, and he saw that as his last-ditch effort to truly make it big.

Bring the Pain was a huge success, and Chris Rock was finally a fixture on the Hollywood map.  Oprah had him on, and during the interview, she asked him what it was like being an overnight success.

His response was, Let's not forget: I'm a seventeen-year overnight success.

HE did it.  He put in the work, the insanely long road trips and nights in bars where nobody seemed to care.  He sat and reviewed his jokes tirelessly for years on end before opportunity ever landed in his lap.  When it finally did, he was absolutely ready for it.

You can't cook like the world's greatest chef if you've never cracked an egg, you can't race cars if you've never held a steering wheel, and you can't paint the Mona Lisa without having a sketchbook full of failed ideas and drawings.  The same goes for comedy: you've got to work hard at it.  You've got to start from the low end of the totem pole and work your way up to the top.  

People you think are just naturally funny only appear to be.  Rest assured the person you see before you making you laugh all the time has had his fair share of hits and misses with those before him, but he has just committed to being funny and kept at it through it all.  He put in the work because he WANTED to be funny.

You have to want it.  It may happen in bits and pieces naturally, and if that's all you need, then wonderful.  However, if you want to be hilarious - if you want to be the life of the party or the one people can always go to for a laugh - this takes a lot of work.

Think about it: since funny is in all of us, but some of us come off as funnier than others, doesn't it make sense that the deciding factor is communication?  Some people communicate funny better than others. That's all.  Also, Communications is a four-year degree program offered at many universities across the world.  Being funny is communication, and Communications is a higher learning offering. Consequently, you have to study to learn how to communicate your particular brand of funny, and the term study really means working at it. 

How do you get to work?  

That’s easy. There are four places at which to begin:

1. understanding what humor is

2. exploring your sense of humor

3. getting a good grasp of the structure of a joke

4. being dramatic in your delivery  

If there are four keys to the Funny Mansion, these are the ones – all of which we'll explain for you to learn and master.

Chapter 3

WHAT IS HUMOR?

Before we attempt to use the keys to the Funny Mansion, we need to figure out just what funny or humor actual means. Webster's Dictionary defines humor as  the mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous.   We can also say that to be funny is to have the ability to see and communicate things that just don't seem right.

Whether you believe Aristotle's theory that ugliness that does not disgust is fundamental to humor, or Muni's Natya Shastra (which translates to Science of Theater) definition of its being one of the nine nava rasas, or emotional responses, is completely up to you and your region of the world.  For us, they're both far too complicated to fully grasp, so let's just define humor as what we find funny.

The three types of humor

What we