Lukewarm

By Will Montgomery

“Lukewarm” is an apprehensive adventure that takes place in Nashville, Tennessee through relationships seen via the eyes of freelance writer Luke Jennings, his actor/waiter roommate/best friend Blair (B) and his song-writing sister Harvi. Although Luke’s love life starts out as the least promising, he has the most developed philosophies and rules on friendship, dating and other interactions between genders. B is dating a beautiful model with little to offer in the pleasant personality department and Luke pulls no punches in reminding B of that at every turn. Harvi has been dating a fame-seeking musician for 18 months that has stopped treating her well and Luke doesn’t waste any opportunities to encourage her to move on. Luke wades through awkward waters with an ex-girlfriend, ring shopping with his dream girl (who’s in love with another man) and begins dating a Facebook crush. When B gets a part in a major motion picture and Harvi’s boyfriend shows her who he really is, hearts are changed and eyes are opened to new possibilities. Throughout these experiences, Luke fills the reader (and his friends) in on his astutely accurate discoveries on human behavior and post-modern love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ambassador International
• Release date: Oct 25, 2013
• ISBN: 9781620201718

Book preview

LUKEWARM

This is a fictional work. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coincidental.

© 2013 by Will Montgomery

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a data base or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-1-62020-120-6

eISBN: 978-1-62020-171-8

Cover design and typesetting: Matthew Mulder

E-book conversion: Anna Riebe

AMBASSADOR INTERNATIONAL

Emerald House

427 Wade Hampton Blvd.

Greenville, SC 29609, USA

www.ambassador-international.com

AMBASSADOR BOOKS

The Mount

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Belfast, BT6 8DD, Northern Ireland, UK

www.ambassador-international.com

The colophon is a trademark of Ambassador

This book is dedicated to:

Dean Elizabeth Canady Guy

Acknowledgments

Since I thanked everyone and their mother in my first book, I’ll limit this party to a very select guest list. Here goes nothin’.

This book is fiction, but as we all know, art most often imitates life. Or is it the other way around? Still, the following characters (in real life, not in the book) are to be thanked profusely for having something to do with the writing, editing, and publication of this novel.

Again, this book is absolutely fictional and any resemblance to any person, place, or event is purely coincidental.

(Wow, I can’t believe we’re here again…)

Carl J. Montgomery Jr., Beverly Guy Montgomery, Amy Montgomery Griffin, Matt Montgomery, Erin Speer Montgomery, John Griffin, Kent, Jared, Luke, Brice, Poppy, Owen, Claire Pennington, David Booth, Brian Krzych, Jared Sullivan, Allison Harville, Kristen McCoy, Brian Charles, Adam York, Elizabeth Hardy, Daniel Dreaden, Sarah Coryell, Erica Grant, Adam Meshaw, Java Hemmat, Bill Woodcock, Kassidi Smith, Laura McLain, Gresham Hill, Natasha Maciuk, Kenworth Reeves Jr., J. David Huffman, Paula Wiseman, Andrew Wolgemuth, Blythe Daniel, J.J. Hebert, Suzanne Kuhn, Sheri Rose Shepherd, and Karen Kingsbury.

To my publisher, Ambassador International, and Tim Lowry, thanks for taking a chance on me. Thanks also to Brenda Covert, whose editorial skills are much appreciated.

To my booking agent, Amelia McNeilly, and Walk of Grace Management, I am so very blessed to know you and have your unique guidance in my life and career.

To Gresham Hill Management and Reach Your City, it is an absolute joy to get to hang out with y’all every day.

This book was written at the West Park Starbucks (thanks to Benny, Jason, Seth, Julie, Candy, Nicole, Jeff, and Spencer) and the Estates at Brentwood.

To all of my readers of my first book, The Polar Bear, and my website, without you, there’d be no reason to write.

To anyone I have ever let down or have not been an adequate portrayal of Jesus, please forgive me—let’s start over.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10a

10b

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

Author’s Note

For More Information

Introduction

MY NAME IS LUKE JENNINGS. Now that I’ve introduced myself, it’s on to the important stuff! Relationships are funny things, if, of course, you think root canals are funny. And they say that the average thirty-year-old will have been romantically involved with twenty-four people. That’s the average. So, it’s surprising that every book one reads about relationships will most often depict a view of love through rose-colored glasses, as opposed to focusing on what really happens 95.8 percent of the time. So, I’m going to speak for the silent majority here and take you on a journey. You see, while I may not have made it to the mountaintop (marriage), I’ve fallen off every cliff on that rocky, relationship ridge along the way up. I’m single, and it’s by choice (probably). But for the ones who are single, like me, and not because they so choose, the buck stops here (whatever that means). I’ve accumulated a vast amount of knowledge about what really makes relationships tick—like a time bomb. (Think Nicholas Sparks meets Jerry Seinfeld.) And, now, it will belong to you. Please don’t make me regret doing you a solid.

I have a best friend who is also my roommate. His name is Blair. But don’t call him that. His parents thought it would be nice to name him after his mother’s favorite teenage heartthrob when she was growing up. Too bad B didn’t have a say in the matter. So, you can call him B, like I just did. You’ll be glad you took my advice. Blair, err, B is a server at an Italian restaurant in Cool Springs, a busy, commercial area in Middle Tennessee. But, as all of us can probably attest, his passion is not his vocation. Yet. But it will be. B is an actor, and regardless of his striking good looks, he’s actually good. He has an agent and has done everything from print work (modeling) to Shakespeare in the Park. And I absolutely believe he’s going to make it some day. Of course, that’s as long as People Magazine doesn’t find out his real name is Blair. As for dating, there’s never a night that B doesn’t have something going on. And, since this book is all about relationships, his events and adventures will be a part of this entrée that I’ll be serving up. Bon appétit!

I also have a little sister named Harvi, who lives across town. Yes, her given name is Harvi. She didn’t change it to that just because she moved to Nashville to become an artist. My parents were convinced that she would be a boy and wanted to name her after my mom’s father. (I’m named after my dad’s father.) Then, at the last minute, they found out that she wasn’t a boy. (I’m still not convinced; kidding, sis!) They had been calling her Harvey for so long that they dropped the ey and added an i. But, it fits her perfectly.

Speaking of being an artist, she has actually done something that 91 percent of the people in this town have not done. And that is to make quite a name for herself in the songwriting industry here in the Music City. And make money. I never fully understood how much money one could potentially make by rhyming a few words and having some skinny, blond girl record them along with a simple chord progression, until, of course, I saw her first royalty check. Amazing. Still, while her career may have skyrocketed as of late, her love life has taken a full-on nosedive. And it would make an unbelievable country ballad.

And then there’s me. I began this narrative by telling you my name. If that isn’t enough to suffice, I suppose that I can tell you that women are the only mystery left in this universe for me to crack. That and quantum physics. But I’m no scientist. I’m actually a freelance editor and wannabe novelist who’s made a habit out of doing whatever it possibly takes to avoid real work at all costs. Now, it isn’t as if I’m lazy, per se; I simply prefer passing a kidney stone as opposed to punching a time clock every day. Call me crazy. Work is boring. The pursuit of love is interesting. It’s why I felt the need to write an entire novel attempting to sort this thing out. And I’ll get some help from B and Harvi along the way. Now that you have a jumping-off point, let’s get started.

This is our story. And, it’s probably a heck of a lot like yours.

Sorry.

1

SO, YOU’RE HONESTLY TELLING ME that you’ll end things with a girl once you feel as if you’ve lost complete control in the relationship? Harvi asked incredulously.

My successful sister had taken me to dinner to celebrate her new radio single, and we had decided upon the restaurant where my roommate B worked. (Nothing like enjoying some manicotti and stiffing your server.)

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

But what if you really like her? she questioned.

Doesn’t matter. You see, sis, one cannot truly like another once that ‘another’ has completely assumed control of said relationship. It’s impossible.

You know I hate it when you call me ‘sis,’ she said.

Why do you think I do it all the time?

I flashed her my two-dollar grin as she attempted to understand what I was trying to communicate to her.

I’m still not sure what you’re talking about, she answered.

You mean about why I like to call you ‘sis’ all the time?

Harvi looked at me as only she can.

No, I still don’t see why you would end things with a girl you like if you felt like she had complete control of the relationship all of a sudden, she stressed.

It’s simple, really. Because every relationship should be a system of checks and balances, right?

Harvi nodded.

And dating someone should be about give and take, correct?

She nodded again, a little more annoyed that I had not yet made my point.

"Therefore, if the system that we’ve agreed is in place breaks down, there’s no going back. Once a woman has assumed complete control of the relationship, she will never relinquish it, even if it meant saving it. And, therein lies the problem. A man should control himself and a woman, herself. But once one of the persons involved tries to control the ‘us’ and not simply the ‘me,’ lovers’ anarchy ensues. Simple as that."

You know you need help. Harvi cracked a sardonic smile.

Oh, stop it. You know I’m right. So what if I like her? If she runs the show, I’d never be ultimately happy. And isn’t that why people enter into relationships in the first place?

I’d say it would be the tax break, but what do I know, Harvi replied.

This was reason 4,936 why I loved my little sister.

I love you, sis.

I know you do, brother. And don’t call me ‘sis’! she exclaimed.

"Why not? I think it’s endearing. And, I also call you ‘sis’ so that your femininity will be reinforced, ya know, since you’ve had a boy’s name all of your life. I’m actually doing you a favor."

Uh huh. Luke, your ‘favors’ never benefit anyone but yourself, she said.

Both of us started laughing as B, our server, approached the table.

So, how about some dessert this evening, folks, he joked.

"Um, we’ll just take the check. Correction, she’ll just take the check."

Man, you’re really going to make your sister pay? B asked.

"Hey, someone has to teach her to be fiscally responsible."

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, B responded.

After his reply, he left the bill and walked back toward the kitchen. B’s shift was ending, and he was as ready to leave as ever. He was currently working at Bianca’s, a small, Italian bistro in the Cool Springs area, and, while he enjoyed it, his passion was acting.

B checked the window to see if any food needed to be delivered, just as his boss, Denny, approached.

You’re cut, Blair, Denny nonchalantly said while checking the reservations for dinner the next night.

Thanks, man, B replied.

Oh, hey, Blair, uh, I mean, B. What’s the story with that girl with your roommate? Denny asked.

Luke had been into the restaurant several times and had become acquainted with B’s manager.

"Story? There isn’t a story. She is his sister," B answered.

Oh, well, is she going with anyone? Denny wondered.

"Um, is she going with anyone? B asked. Dude, no offense, but the simple fact that you used that phrase probably means you are a tad old for her."

Pay that no mind. Have you dropped the check yet? Denny asked.

Pay that no mind? Why do I feel as if I’m talking to my grandfather?

"Did you or did you not drop the check off?" Denny demanded.

Yeah. I’m just getting a box for Harvi’s food.

Harvey? I thought your roommate’s name was Luke, Denny said.

It is. His sister’s name is Harvi. With an ‘i,’ B replied.

Oh, okay. Neato, answered Denny.

B pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration as Denny grabbed a to-go box and headed out to their table.

Good evening, y’all. How was everything? Denny asked.

Oh, it was great. The service was a little slow, but other than that, I’m pleased.

Of course you are, interjected Harvi, you got a free dinner.

And more appreciative, I could not be.

Denny stood at the table awkwardly, not knowing what to do while the brother-sister combo rattled off silly banter for what probably seemed like an eternity.

Well, just thought I’d stop by and see if there was anything I could do to make your experience more enjoyable, Denny said.

Everything was lovely, thank you, Harvi replied.

Denny stood there for a few more seconds as the threesome stared at each other in silence.

Well, we’ve gotta run, sooo…

Oh, of course. You two have a wonderful evening! Denny exclaimed.

After Denny’s well wishes, he lumbered away from the table and toward the bar.

I think Mr. Manager has a crush on someone at this table.

Don’t flatter yourself, brother; he is wayyy out of your league, Harvi teased.

Oh, hardy har har.

’Hardy har har?’ That’s what you’re using now? Harvi asked.

I’m thinking of bringing it back. Ooh, and I used ‘step off’ in a sentence today.

Harvi chuckled sarcastically as she grabbed her bag and began to collect her things to leave.

Seriously, sis, that guy likes you.

Well, I don’t want to be mean, but he’s a little too old for me, Harvi reasoned.

And a little too ‘him.’ But, anything is better than Stuart.

Okay, a) no, he’s not, and b) don’t call me ‘sis,’ Harvi replied.

"You know what I mean. So what if he’s a creeper? I’m sure he’s nice. And he’s got a steady job. And he’s probably a mean shuffleboard player. Plus, he’s a Christian.

Stuart’s a Christian, she argued.

"Yeah, well, does he describe himself as such?"

Sure, she replied.

I raised one eyebrow at her response.

"I mean, basically," Harvi answered.

Harv, telling people ‘you’re not religious but you’re very spiritual’ doesn’t count.

My sister punched me in the arm as she stood to leave.

I really don’t need this right now, Luke, she huffed.

Okay, okay. Run off to your New Age boyfriend.

You sure you’re okay if I go? Harvi asked.

Yeah, I’m good.

I was going to hang around and wait for B to get off, since Harvi had picked me up earlier in the evening and I would need a ride home.

Okay, good. I have enough relationship problems to deal with than to worry about my big bubby tonight.

Harvi sighed. She gave me a peck on the cheek and promised to text me before she went to bed that night, just as she had done since she was a teenager and I had lived in Nashville. She walked out late into the fall evening, heading over to her boyfriend Stuart’s band practice.

Back inside the restaurant, B walked over to my table of one.

Yo! I’ve got about ten minutes left before I’ll be ready to roll, B explained.

No worries, bro. I’m gonna sit at the bar and nurse a ‘Shirley Temple.’

Really? B’s eyebrows nearly met his hairline.

Dude, the ‘Good Ship Lollipop’ isn’t just a song. It’s a way of life.

B shook his head in disbelief. Just be ready to go when I’m done.

I began to tap dance my way toward the bar, finally getting a laugh from B.

I ended my routine and walked up to the bar. The restaurant patrons were filtering out, and the room was almost empty. At the corner of the bar, a striking blonde was making small talk with the bartender, pretending to be interested in the motorcycle-rebuilding story that the poor sap was telling her. I did what any other desperate yet clever man would do in a situation such as this. I sat on the stool next to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

Um, dear, did you close out your tab yet? We’ve got to get going if we’re going to catch the late movie.

The bartender immediately began wiping down the counter away from the two strangers, clearly buying the ruse that I had initiated.

No, honey, I was going to let you do that, the woman said as a slight grin settled upon her perfect lips.

I smiled back at her, knowing she had just pulled a fast one on me. The bartender was now nowhere to be seen, and all that was left was her tab.

I’m Luke. And you are? I extended my hand after placing my debit card onto the slip of paper.

"Shouldn’t you know? I am your girlfriend, evidently," she said.

Oh, you’re right. I suppose you won’t let me off the hook for not remembering our anniversary, either?

Let’s just start with my name. Carris. And you are … Luke, right?

"Wow, you’re attention span is impressive. Beauty and brains. Which begs the question: why on earth are you sitting in a restaurant bar this late at night all by your lonesome?"

Forward, aren’t we? Carris asked.

"Well, I am thirty-three years old. I don’t have much time left to play games."

If you must know, I am meeting someone. He works here, Carris answered guardedly.

A grin spread across my face as I realized that I had gotten here too late. But this realization was nothing new. B would leave the restaurant with his new female friend, and I would leave a little lighter in the wallet. Well, at least my meal was free. Still, it seemed as if this beautiful woman’s interest in anyone who wasn’t her lasted about five seconds. On second thought, perhaps that assessment was too generous.

What are y’all getting into this fine evening?

We’re going to go hear one of my friends play a show downtown. I live near the venue, so he wants to follow me in his Jeep after he drops his roommate off at their apartment, Carris explained.

Well, that sounds fun.

I knew full well that B wasn’t much for live music,