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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 1, 1892
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 1, 1892
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 1, 1892
    Ebook105 pages43 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 1, 1892

    By Various Various

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 1, 1892

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 1, 1892 - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 103, October 1, 1892, by Various, Edited by F. C. Burnand

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 103, October 1, 1892

      Author: Various

      Release Date: March 22, 2005 [eBook #15439]

      Language: English

      Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

      ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL. 103, OCTOBER 1, 1892***

      E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis,

      and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team

      PUNCH,

      OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

      Vol. 103.

      October 1, 1892.

      STUMPED!

      (A would-be laudatory Ode.

      By Jingle Junior.)

      [The young Indian Gentleman, Mr. H. RANJITSINHJI, has secured his century at Cricket no less than eleven times this season.]

      O H.S. RANJIT—(spelling a wild venture is!)

      Wielder of willow, runner-up of centuries!

      What's in a name? A name like RANJITSIN—

      (Can't finish it, was foolish to begin!)

      How many miles was it you ran, O RAN—

      (Bowled out again. Am sorry I began!)

      In running out those hundreds, RANJITSINGHJ—

      (A man were a patched fool, a perfect ninny,

      Who'd try to spell that name, Ask Bully Bottom!)

      With such a name to carry, how you got 'em,

      O RANJ—(that sounds like Orange!)—those same notches

      Is quite a wonder. Were they bowls or cotches

      That got you out at last, those times eleven?

      (Where is GRACE now? He has not scored one even,

      This season, though as close as ninety-nine to it.)

      Applause has greeted you; let me add mine to it,

      O RAN-JIT-SIN-HJI! (Those last three letters

      What do they spell?) Orthography's cold fetters

      Shan't chill my admiration, smart young Hindoo!

      Say, did you smite a sixer through a window,

      Like Slogger THORNTON in his boyish prime,

      O RANJITSINHJI? Got it this time!

      That is, it spelt all right. E'en admiration

      Shan't tempt me to attempt pronunciation!

      Eleven centuries we to Indian skill owe!

      Will the East lick the West at its own Willow?

      Here's luck to India and young RAN—Och, murther!

      RAN-JIT-SIN-SIN—How's that! Out? Can't get further!

      OH NO, WE NEVER MENTION IT.—The KENDALS have got a Play by a young American Author with the very uncompromising name of DAM. He, or his Play, may be Dam good, or just the reverse: still, if he does turn out to be the big, big D, then all the Dam family, such as Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Schiedam, and so forth, will be real proud of him. Future Dams will revere him as their worthy ancestral sire, and American Dam may become naturalised among us (we have a lot of English ones quite a spécialité in that line, so the French say), and become Dam-nationalised. What fame if the piece is successful, and DAM is on every tongue! So will it be too, if unsuccessful. Englishmen will welcome the new American playright with the name unmentionable to ears polite, and will recognise in him, as the Dam par excellence, their brother, as one of the uncommon descendants of A-DAM. By the way, the appropriate night for its production would be Christmas Eve. Fancy the cries all over the House, calling for the successful Author!!

      IMMUNITIES OF THE SEA-SIDE.

      COME UNDER THE UMBRELLA, JACK, IT'S BEGUN TO RAIN, AND YOU'LL CATCH COLD, AND MAMMA'LL BE VEXED!

      POOH! AS IF SALT WATER EVER GAVE ONE COLD!

      PUNSCH

      (In the Reading-room

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