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    Familiar Faces
    Familiar Faces
    Familiar Faces
    Ebook114 pages40 minutes

    Familiar Faces

    By Harry Graham

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Familiar Faces
    Author

    Harry Graham

    The author is happily married and living in Pennsylvania.

    Read more from Harry Graham

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      Book preview

      Familiar Faces - Harry Graham

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Familiar Faces, by Harry Graham

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Familiar Faces

      Author: Harry Graham

      Release Date: January 24, 2011 [EBook #35059]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FAMILIAR FACES ***

      Produced by Mark C. Orton, Josephine Paolucci and the

      Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net.

      (This book was produced from scanned images of public

      domain material from the Google Print project.)

      FAMILIAR FACES

      By the Same Author

      Misrepresentative Men

      More Misrepresentative Men

      Misrepresentative Women

      FAMILIAR FACES

      BY

      HARRY GRAHAM

      Author of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, "Misrepresentative

      Men, Misrepresentative Women," etc., etc.

      Illustrated by Tom Hall

      New York

      DUFFIELD & COMPANY

      1907

      Copyright, 1907, by

      DUFFIELD & COMPANY

      Published August, 1907

      THE PREMIER PRESS, NEW YORK.

      CONTENTS

      PAGE

      The Cry of the Publisher 7

      The Cry of the Author 9

      The Fumbler 11

      The Baritone 15

      The Actor Manager 20

      The Gilded Youth 25

      The Gourmand 29

      The Dentist 36

      The Man Who Knows 38

      The Faddist 44

      The Colonel 47

      The Waiter 50

      The Policeman 54

      The Music Hall Comedian 58

      The Conversational Reformer 63

      King Leopold 67

      Bart's Club 71

      The Reviewer 74

      L'Envoi 77

      LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

      THE CRY OF THE PUBLISHER

      O my Author, do you hear the Autumn calling?

      Does its message fail to reach you in your den,

      Where the ink that once so sluggishly was crawling

      Courses swiftly through your stylographic pen?

      'Tis the season when the editor grows active,

      When the office-boy looks longingly to you.

      Won't you give him something novel and attractive

      To review?

      Never mind if you are frivolous or solemn,

      If you only can be striking and unique,

      The reviewers will concede you half a column

      In their literary journals, any week.

      And 'twill always be your publisher's ambition

      To provide for the demand that you create,

      And dispose of a gigantic first edition,

      While you wait.

      O my Author, can't you pull yourself together,

      Try to expiate the failures of the past,

      And just ask yourself dispassionately whether

      You can't give us something better than your last?

      If you really—if you truly—are a poet,

      As you fancy—pray forgive my being terse—

      Don't you think you might occasionally show it

      In your verse?

      THE CRY OF THE AUTHOR

      O my Publisher, how dreadfully you bore me!

      Of your censure I am frankly growing tired.

      With your diatribes eternally before me,

      How on earth can I expect to feel inspired?

      You are orderly, no doubt, and systematic,

      In that office where recumbent you recline;

      You would modify your methods in an attic

      Such as mine.

      If you lived a sort of

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