The Gifts of Cancer

By Nicole J. Barrett

A book written for cancer patients, cancer survivors and their loved ones to assist them in reframing the experience of cancer to change their lives for the better.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 4, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483514697

Book preview

Blessings!

Introduction

My Story: I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer in January 2004 – I was 28 years old. I had been having pain in my side for a few years up to that point and had a chest x-ray and an ultra sound that led to less life-threatening diagnoses with treatments ranging from physical therapy to having a large, long needle put into my kidney to deflate a renal cyst. Not one of these treatments helped to ease the pain in my side which seemed to be getting worse. Finally in October 2003, I actually saw and felt a growth on my lower right rib. I had an MRI and biopsy done and was diagnosed with Malignant Granular Cell Tumor. Looking up this diagnosis on the internet at the time was scary. The survival rate was not good and it appeared to be a cancer that kills you within 6 months with surgery as the only viable treatment because radiation and chemotherapy were shown to be ineffective. Luckily I had noticed the tumor when it was still in its early stages. I had surgery to excise the area around the tumor. Part of my lower rib had to be removed. My surgeon, Dr. Zamora, told me that I had a good prognosis after surgery but had me do follow-up MRIs for the next year or two. It was explained to me that if the cancer were to return, it was the kind of cancer that return quickly so lifelong MRIs were not necessary.

It is very important to trust and believe in your doctor and care team. I trusted Dr. Zamora. Everywhere I went in the hospital, people said things like, You’re a patient of Dr. Zamora’s?! I love Dr. Zamora. However, some of my friends and family questioned why I wasn’t doing chemotherapy. I was encouraged to get a second opinion which I did just to quiet the dissenters and to seek confirmation of Dr. Zamora’s recommendations. I went to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) which is one of the primary cancer treatment hospitals in the Seattle area. To my surprise, the doctor there recommended we start chemotherapy immediately. I told him that I would need to think about it. I was confused until I read the recommendations he sent to Dr. Zamora which made no mention of the chemotherapy that he tried to sell me on in the office. I had done my own research – I knew that chemotherapy was not indicated for the type of cancer I had been diagnosed with. I am not trying to speak ill of SCCA. I think they do a good job for a lot of the patients we send there for second opinions from the Oncology Clinic at Madigan Army Medical Center where I work as an oncological social worker. But I do think it is important to tell this story because despite their great reputation and expertise, I knew not to take their initial recommendation for chemotherapy and I knew that my decision was right when they failed to put this recommendation in writing.

I think it is very important to do your own research on your particular diagnosis and to stand up for yourself and say no when you feel compelled to do so. Cancer patients tend to be the best patients as they seem to be the most compliant with their doctors’ recommendation. This kind of cancer patient needs someone to tell them that it’s OK to go against the doctor’s recommendations sometimes if what they are recommending does not sit well with your soul. It is your body, it is your life, it is your choice and it is your journey. Chemotherapy was not a part of my journey at that time and I knew it.

While it seems that my journey seems like a short one compared to people who go through years of chemotherapy and the rollercoaster of having periods of remission, I knew not to take the experience lightly. I knew that I could not and did not want to go back to my life the way it was before the cancer diagnosis. I sought out therapy, I saw an acupuncturist/herbalist that only worked with cancer patients and I attended a 2-day workshop at The University of Washington called Cancer as a Turning Point. I share some insights from that excellent seminar throughout this book. This book also incorporates ideas from other books that are on my list of suggested reading material at the end of this book.

You may be going through the cancer journey yourself, you may be accompanying someone on that journey, you may be a cancer survivor, you may be someone who works with cancer patients or you may just be someone who is curious about cancer and/or healing. Whatever your reason for choosing to read this book, I want to thank you in advance for having an open mind. The title of this book and many of ideas I express in this book may make some people angry and this is understandable. I try not to judge where others are at on their healing journey and spiritual growth arc. I do want to people to know where I am coming from as a writer. Because this book contains lots of ideas about spiritually, I think it is important to let you know what my spiritual beliefs are as much as possible. I was baptized and confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church but I consider myself more of a Gnostic Christian now. I feel I am different from other Christians in the fact that I believe in reincarnation, I believe that there are many paths that lead to God and I believe in heaven but not in any kind of hell except for a self-imposed one. I believe in karma, pre-birth planning, astrology, spiritual laws such as the law of attraction and other new-age ideas. You likely will not agree with everything that I believe and this is to be expected. My hope is that you will take what you take and leave what you will leave based on your own beliefs.

Chapter 1: You Are a Survivor

… The outcome of the search is not nearly important as the search itself. Hope is a journey, not a destination; its value lies in the exploration. - David Kessler, author of Needs of the Dying

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I immediately referred to myself as a survivor, not just to create the expectation in my subconscious mind that I would hit that 5-year mark of survivorship and actually become a technical survivor but also because I believe that you are surviving the trauma of a being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and subsequent treatments and emotions right away. You are already on your journey. You have taken your first steps and it is important to set off on the right foot mentally, spiritually and energetically. Many will disagree with this viewpoint and I accept that. I worked with a cancer patient who immediately asked when I was diagnosed with cancer when I disclosed to her that I was survivor in 2013. When I let her know that I had been diagnosed with 2004, she told me that it was Ok to refer to myself as a survivor because it has been more than 5 years. She also was quick to say that she didn’t like it and didn’t agree with it when someone referred to themselves as a survivor and hadn’t yet met that 5-year mark. Since I could tell that she had a lot of anger around the term survivor, I did not share my beliefs with her.

I think it is important to bring up the law of attraction here. If you never read the book The Secret or watched the movie by the same title, you may not have heard of the law of attraction. Though the idea now called the law of attraction has been around forever and has been spoken of