Twenty Funny Stories book 3

By Margaret Radisich Sleasman

Want to know what to look for in a toilet seat; find out why men should listen to their wives; what to do about annoying phone calls? Well, this book gives you funny solutions - not really, but these and a few other stories that are included in this book will bring smiles, chuckles, and laughter to your heart

• Language: English
• Publisher: Margaret Radisich Sleasman
• Release date: Oct 24, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466102712

Margaret Radisich Sleasman

I have many interests, love reading mystery books, anything about tigers, and grandkids (not particularly in that order). I wrote a Bible study and am pretty much unmoveable in my literal biblical view - so don't try. I am attempting to write a couple mysteries one for adults and one for pre-teens. I edited and published a monthly historical newsletter, "The Pacific Northwest Croatian" for seven years and learned much about my people during that time. I have been writing on Helium since July of 2009 and Faithwriters since December 2009. I found the humor section and discovered that humor may be my niche, but my first love is writing Christianity articles. I have five grandchildren. I have five children, grown - but not grown up. We have a German Shepherd (Kobe)and a potbelly pig (Porky). Spent 35 years of my life making concrete lawn ornaments. I am Croatian, my husband is German... a family of stubborn, but silly people. That's about it.

Book preview

TWENTY FUNNY STORIES BOOK THREE

By Margaret Radisich Sleasman

Published by Margaret Radisich Sleasman at Smashwords

Copyright: 2010 Margaret Radisich Sleasman:

All Rights Reserved

This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to my family, relatives, and the Croatian friends in the community in which I grew up. The Croatian sense of humor is probably the best in the world as far as I am concerned. We may be a strange group at times, but have a zest for life unparallel to any other nationality that I have met.

None of these stories are true; maybe a sentence or two and then I enlarged it to my viewpoint. I hope that others will chuckle and not find my writing insulting, that was not my intent. After you read these stories, you will know without a doubt what you suspected all along, I am totally insane. Laughter extends your life, so laugh with me or at me; God bless you all.

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1. Christmas Greetings

Yes, I do the letter every year and include a few photos, but my letters are interesting and not like some who brag and brag; you see, we have nothing to brag about; we are just average losers, and proud of it. We do have some good news this year so even if it sounds like bragging, we are not.

This has been a very good year for us because it is the first time in a long time that our daughter has not spent Christmas in jail and will be home for our family celebrations. Our son, providing he can stay ahead of the SWAT team, will be there too. Nothing will mar this happy occasion and even though we had some trials last year, we seem to be headed into a better year. Last February we had a big windstorm and it blew our garage down, but hubby brought home a couple of truckloads of pallet boards and rebuilt it. Then we actually saved enough money to buy a new tarp to use as a roof; it may just last for a couple of years; my hubby is so innovative!

One night last spring we thought we had a prowler and hubby went outside with the shotgun, he tripped and shot a large hole in his foot, it turned out to be a raccoon and we managed to get him (hubby, not the raccoon) to the ER before he bled to death. They had to amputate, but he will be getting a prosthetic as soon as Obama’s health-care plan goes in to place.

I had a couple of problems with road rage drivers last year; but of course, I won and I can still drive my car even though the front end is pretty much demolished. Hubby has duct-tape talent and taped the headlights up in case we have to drive at night – which we don't usually, but just in case. These incidents saved our car from repossession because the dealer wants nothing to do with it and decided to write it off – lucky me!

We managed to scrape up some used plywood to put over our broken windows, so we will also be able to keep warm this winter. Last year it got pretty cold with the wind blowing through the house. We have been approached by the U.S. Marshall to testify against our neighbors who are very devious and involved in criminal activity. They are offering us witness protection if we cooperate. The only bad thing is that we will have to sever ties with all of our many friends and won't be able to send updates on