Panty Raid at Zombie High

By Rusty Fischer

Toby’s best friend, and unrequited love, Molly Harper has gone missing. Molly’s boyfriend, “Spud,” thinks he knows where she’s been taken: the mysterious Zombie High, where Spud’s father just happens to be in charge of the top-secret medical facility famous for its work rehabilitating teenage zombies.

Armed with blueprints, passwords, keys and codes, Spud and Toby are ready to make an all-out assault on Zombie High and rescue their fair Molly. There’s just one problem: Toby and Spud are the biggest wimps at Cypress Cove High and need some muscle along for the ride in case any of the zombies get loose.

That’s where Boner and Zack come in. Two of the football team’s biggest players, the jocks are easily conned into joining Spud and Toby on their fictional “panty raid” the minute Spud calls them “chicken” for not accepting his challenge to spend the night at Zombie High.

When Zack and Boner show up to accept the challenge, however, they don’t come alone; they bring their two girlfriends, Lilac and Haley, along for the ride. With events spiraling out of control and zombies lurking around every corner, will Toby and Spud even survive their night at Zombie High, let alone rescue Molly?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Decadent Publishing
• Release date: Oct 27, 2011
• ISBN: 9781613331118

Rusty Fischer

Rusty Fischer is a full-time freelance writer, multi-published ghostwriter and the author of dozens of published books across a variety of genres, from nonfiction to fiction, including his popular A Living Dead Love Story series from Medallion Press. Visit him at www.rustyfischer.com to read more!

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Panty Raid @ Zombie High

Rusty Fischer

Author of Ushers, Inc.

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2011 by Rusty Fischer

ISBN: 978-1-61333-111-8

Cover art by Rusty Fischer

This is a work of fiction. All of the names, characters, places and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.

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Published by Decadent Publishing Company, LLC

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Prologue

Where’s Spud? I ask, seeing Molly waiting alone in our usual spot.

AP Science Fair, what else? She sighs and offers me the last of her Sparkz candy bar.

I take it and see if I can taste any of her maroon lipstick on the bitten-off part. No such luck.

Molly has her hair up in a ponytail today. I love it when she has her hair up because I can see the back of her pure white neck, the length of it, the way her soft, long fingers will sometimes fly there in class and scratch it absently.

Now that school is over, she has her State ball cap on, too, the ponytail sticking out the back in that way I also love.

You gonna hang with us tonight?

Waddya mean? She turns toward me on the stone bench in front of the school, sitting kindergarten style with her long, lean legs crossed in front, her velvety thighs practically caramel in the late afternoon light.

"Space Vampires 4 opens tonight. Spud said he’d go with me and where Spud goes, Molly goes, so…what? Why are you looking at me like you’re going to tell me my new puppy just died?"

Molly’s eyes are brown, this deep, chocolaty brown and even darker in the waning sunlight. Now they’re sad, like they are a lot lately.

Didn’t…I mean… she stammers while shaking her head, the end of her raven black ponytail caressing the shoulders of her snug T-shirt. "Why would he say that?"

"Uh, because we’ve seen all the Space Vampires movies together, on opening night, and if there’s one thing I know about Spud, it’s how much he hates to break tradition, so…what? Why are you still giving me the dead puppy dog eyes?"

"Because, Toby, he has to get his tux fitted for the Fall Formal if it’s going to be done on time and the only night my seamstress can see him is…What? Now you’re giving me the dead puppy dog eyes."

I shake my head and grab a hand full of quarters from my pocket, shoving them—almost slamming them—into the humming soda machine at my back.

I’m not giving you dead puppy dog eyes, Molly, I insist, handing her the first sip of my Crank cola despite the fact that she’s just torpedoed the only thing I’ve been looking forward to all week.

She takes it casually, almost expectantly, no please or thank you. No need for please or thank you. We’ve probably shared a thousand sodas and two thousand candy bars in our lifetime, so…why should today be any different?

She hands it back and our fingers linger a little over the cold, already sweaty can.

I pull away first, and she doesn’t look hurt.

Well, how long is that going to take? I ask after I’ve had a sip or two to calm my suddenly frazzled nerves.

Yes, I know I’m overreacting, yes I know I’m being a total Mabel about this but…seriously? It’s Space Vampires 4, people!

Long enough to miss the first, second, and third showings, Toby. Just, face it. Dude stood you up.

I snort. Molly’s so butch.

Again, I remind her.

"Yeah, again, well…it’s not my fault. If you’d had enough balls to ask me to the dance before Spud did, you’d be standing him up tonight instead of the other way around."

I shake my head, ignoring the truth of her statement. I wouldn’t do that to a friend.

She nods, brown eyes soft and moist under the bill of her maroon ball cap. After a few moments, she says, I know you wouldn’t, Toby.

Wouldn’t do what? barks Spud as he rounds the corner, swinging his new car keys like he’s some kind of big man on campus or something.

"Make me go to Space Vampires 4 alone." I say it straight up, because part of me is hurt but more of me is pissed, and about lots more than just some stupid Space Vampires movie, too.

"Oh, snap," he says in that way he thinks is so cool in front of Molly. I’ve been meaning to tell you all day but—

But what? I grunt and toss the empty soda can into the red wire trashcan without offering Molly another sip. "But those five periods we had together were too hectic to lean over and say, ‘Hey listen, I’ve got to go get my pants hemmed instead of seeing the best movie ever with you, I hope you understand’?"

Molly snorts at my obvious sarcasm, pert breasts jiggling in her powder blue baby doll T-shirt, and Spud shoots her a look I’d never want to be on the receiving end of.

It’s not like that, he insists through clenched teeth.

Whatever. I sigh, grabbing the keys out of my pocket and turning toward the student parking lot. It’s fine. No, really. Seriously, no worries. I’ll wear a disguise, sit way in the back, nobody’ll notice that I’m completely alone and friendless. I mean, it’s not like the entire school is going to be there or anything. I’m sure I’ll survive the public ridicule somehow!

Molly’s snug maroon cords rasp as she stands from the stone bench, and her black hi-tops slap against the tile of the school walkway as she follows along.

Spud finally catches up, key ring fixed to his favorite Boy Scouts-style pants jingling.

Now I feel bad, Molly coos as we walk side-by-side to our cars.

No you don’t. I grin. "You could care less. You never liked Space Vampires 1, to say nothing of 2 and 3."

No, but I always went just the same.

You told me you liked them, Spud whines, sounding personally offended.

Molly and I share a look—one of those looks. One of those how-can-he-be-so-smart-and-so-dumb-at-the-same-time looks, the ones her new boyfriend never sees or, if he does, never admits he sees.

My car is small and old and parked crooked because I wasn’t expecting to drive to school today but Spud called at the last minute and told me he couldn’t swing by to pick me up so I was running late and, well…let’s just drop it for now.

Spud’s car, on the other hand, is new and clean, and he opens the passenger door for Molly before zipping back around to his side.

She is facing me, I’m facing her, and we share another look as Spud frets over some imagined ding on the side of his driver’s side door.

It’s that not-quite-smoldering, not-quite-lingering look we snatch every chance we get lately, ever since my best friend started dating my other best friend.

I get lost in the look, in those chipper brown eyes and the long, porcelain neck and the budding breasts and the tapered waist and—

Molly? says Spud, not quite as cluelessly as we’d both like to imagine. You getting in?

And she does, quickly, without another fleeting look in my direction.

I shift my glance from her closed door to Spud’s thin face, barely sticking out above the roof of his sleek new sports car.

Sorry about tonight, he says, again through gritted teeth.

Now it’s time to share our look—that slightly smug, triumphant look of his and my own vaguely disappointed, disgusted look.

"There’ll be another Space Vampires next year, Toby!"

He slides into the car, turns the key in the ignition and zips from the parking lot, not even giving Molly a chance to look back at me as he turns right and guns it toward downtown Tinfoil, Tennessee.

I slide into my own driver’s seat, never imagining that would be the last time I’d ever see Molly Sims alive.

Chapter One

Spud is ticked off at the cafeteria lady for taking so long to open up the new roll of quarters. He isn’t saying anything, because that would be rude, but I can see the blush creep up the back of his neck above his blue-on-blue ringer tee. And that’s never good.

Ever.

For a small guy, Spud can get pretty loud, pretty quick.

Chill, I warn him, leaning into his bright pink ear and hoping to derail his building tantrum. You’re making a scene.

He turns and gives me his best ironic face. Isn’t that the point? He turns back as the cafeteria lady finally squeezes out his three quarters in change.

He storms off in a huff, all five-foot-four of him, but not too far because this is only going to work as a two-man job and if he gets too far ahead of me, well, anything could happen.

And neither of us wants that. But probably, mostly, Spud doesn’t.

I shrug and pay for my tray full of extra spaghetti noodles and double cheese sauce, with a side order of the greasiest garlic bread. The garlic bread costs extra, to say nothing of the second bowl of cheese sauce, but it’s worth it.

Or will be, I suppose.

If I don’t die before I get to use it, that is.

The jocks sit at table three, and the only reason they don’t sit at tables one or two is because they’re too far off to the side and they like being front and center