Calming The Storm Of Marriage

By Peter Lumba

With the gradual dying of the time-honored cultural values that are used in gender oppression, modern marriages are facing an unparallelled challenge with over 60% of them failing within the first 10 years. The male seems to be at a loss on how to deal with the liberated woman. The book looks at the causes of the common misunderstandings between the two sexes and how they can be resolved.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Peter Lumba
• Release date: Dec 16, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465807724

Peter Lumba

The author runs a Public Benefit Organization (PBO) for disadvantaged children. Has special interest in youth development, especially teenagers.

Book preview

Calming The Storm Of Marriage

Published at Smashwords by Peter Lumba

Copyright 2011 Peter Lumba

CHAPTER ONE

LET WOMEN BE WOMEN

The wisdom of the Bible tells us:

"…she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh." Gen 2: 23-24

But in our own wisdom,

a woman leaves her father and mother to be united to her husband and they become two rivals!

Culture and women lib

Nothing has essentially undermined the modern marriage like the spirit of culture and the women liberation crusade. As the modern male trudges on in his old gumboots of retrogressive cultural values, the female is too busy muddying the ground for him to make his walk more and more uncomfortable as the archaic Wellingtons continue to gather heaps of mud. For a long time, our communities have ruthlessly subjected the woman to demoralizing cultural values, not only as a methodology for sabotaging her personal development but also as a way of belittling her role in the society. This has made both the boy and the girl child grow up with misplaced personal images. While the boy child has been conditioned to see himself as superior to the girl child and wants to stamp his authority in every sphere of interaction with the opposite sex, the girl child today sees herself as a victim. The female therefore reacts to this persuasion with vindictive resentment any time the male is bent to unduly stamp what he sees as a God given authority on their relationship. Most times, instead of looking for a balance, she goes full blast in her attempt to crush the man. She reacts like someone using a hammer to kill an annoying mosquito that is resting on a window pane. The hammer may or may not crash the mosquito, but it will definitely cause irrevocable damage to the window pane. And this is how most marriages meet their demise to the detriment of the innocent children.

Because of cultural prejudice and the spirit of liberation in women, any partnership between the two sexes, whether of marriage or business, is entered with obvious suspicion between the two.

One solid fact the man should grasp is that change comes with time and when the time is right, it cannot be resisted. With all the challenges facing women, things will continue changing in their favour as the oppressed lot in the society. Instead of resisting this change, the male should make the necessary adjustments, not necessarily to adopt it wholesale but to adapt to it. This would give the female the opportunity to express herself fully for the benefit of the society at the same time being solely responsibility for her actions. In the old days, women in long trousers gravely shocked everyone in the rural villages because it not only suggested loose morals then, but it was also something unthinkable. Not anymore today. In many communities today, more and more women are walking around in trousers without drawing any unwarranted attention. The communities which continue to resist the idea of their women wearing long trousers will eventually come to realise they are fighting a loosing battle for they will eventually give up the fight and let the women dress according to their taste. In most communities, women were not allowed to eat some parts of animals. But today who cares who eats what? Nevertheless, there are still many areas where the female is trying to wrestle free from the domination of the male. This has put every modern woman on the offensive and the war is not without casualties. If anything, it has more casualties than any other war we have