The World's Worst Fairy Godmother

By Bruce Coville

Reviews for the original hardcover publication:

"Spells backfire to create merry mayhem in Coville's fluffy tale. . . The broadly humorous scenarios, despite their fantastic premise, may inspire a worthwhile musing or two on the subject of perfection." - Publisher's Weekly

"The plot is well crafted, fast paced, and filled with the wacky humor kids crave. As an extension, youngsters may want to try acting out favorite scenes from this story, which is actually based on one of Coville's musical plays." - Booklist

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bruce Coville
• Release date: Jun 11, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476383750

Bruce Coville

BRUCE COVILLE is the author of over 100 books for children and young adults, including the international bestseller My Teacher is an Alien, the Unicorn Chronicles series, and the much-beloved Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher. His work has appeared in a dozen languages and won children's choice awards in a dozen states. Before becoming a full time writer Bruce was a teacher, a toymaker, a magazine editor, a gravedigger, and a cookware salesman. He is also the creator of Full Cast Audio, an audiobook company devoted to producing full cast, unabridged recordings of material for family listening and has produced over a hundred audiobooks, directing and/or acting in most of them. Bruce lives in Syracuse, New York, with his wife, illustrator and author Katherine Coville.

Book preview

The World’s Worst Fairy Godmother

by

Bruce Coville

(Author of My Teacher Is an Alien; Aliens Ate My Homework; Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher; Into the Land of the Unicorns, and many others)

Published by Oddly Enough at Smashwords

Copyright 2012 Bruce Coville

For more information about the author and his works, please visit http://www.brucecoville.com/

Chapter One

Another Fine Mess

Maybelle Clodnowski stood at the edge of the swamp and took two frogs from her apron pocket.

Here we go, she said, looking at them fondly. This should suit you just fine.

Before Maybelle could put the frogs into the water she heard someone clear his throat behind her. It was a deep sound. A fierce sound. A definitely disapproving sound.

Maybelle turned around. Her eyes went wide. She swallowed once, then whispered, Hello, boss.

Mr. Peters was as tall and slender as Maybelle was short and podgy. His nostrils flared and he raised his eyebrows so high Maybelle was afraid they might shoot right over the top of his forehead and keep on going.

What, he asked in his deepest, crankiest, most boy-are-you-in-trouble-now voice, what in heaven’s name do you think you’re doing?

Sending the young lovers off to a new life? asked Maybelle, smiling hopefully.

Mr. Peters scowled.

They’re both happy, Maybelle added defensively.

Happy? roared Mr. Peters. "Happy! Maybelle, they’re both frogs!"

Well, they like the outdoors.

Mr. Peters made a rumbling sound deep in his chest. Maybelle, the Prince of Burundia and the Princess of Ghukistan were not raised to be frogs. They were raised to be rulers of a kingdom.

Well, I know that, boss. But the poor things really didn’t like the idea much, and I was trying—

"You were trying, you are trying, and it looks very much as if you always will be trying!" roared Mr. Peters. He made a gesture with his hands, and the frogs disappeared. In their place, coughing and wheezing in a cloud of blue smoke, stood a handsome prince and an extremely beautiful princess. Both looked bewildered, and a little embarrassed.

You two go on home, said Mr. Peters sharply. As for you, Maybelle, I want you to meet me in my office tomorrow morning at nine sharp.

With another wave of his hand he disappeared in a cloud of white smoke.

The smell of newly mown hay lingered behind him.

His office? asked the prince, stepping out of the swamp. He shook a minnow from his boot.

Up there, said Maybelle, pointing toward the sky.

Heaven? asked the princess, her blue eyes wide.

You could call it that, said Maybelle. Though at the moment it doesn’t quite feel that way. She sighed, then turned her eyes from the clouds back to the swamp. I’m terribly sorry about the frog thing. I didn’t mean for it to happen that way. When Princess Igrella kissed you, Prince Arbus, you were supposed to turn back into a human. Why Princess Igrella turned into a frog instead I’ll never know.

She shook her wand in disgust, then tucked it into the belt that held her skirt close to her plump waist.

Princess Igrella patted Maybelle on the shoulder. No need to apologize. I was pretty upset at first, but when I thought about life in court versus life in the swamp… well, somehow a lily pad began to seem a lot more comfortable than a throne. As far as I’m concerned, all that really mattered was that Prince Arbus and I could be together.

Maybelle smiled. At least you’re still both the same species. But maybe I can—

Prince Arbus put his arm around Igrella’s tiny waist. We’ll be fine, Maybelle, he said nobly. One way or another. Please… feel free to go on to your next case.

But maybe I should stay and—

We’ll be fine, repeated the prince firmly, his voice a little desperate. Thank you for your help.

Oh, it was my pleasure, said Maybelle cheerfully. She glanced at the sky. Certainly more of a pleasure than tomorrow morning is going to be.

The cloud directly above her grew dark and rumbled with thunder.

Maybelle rolled her eyes. Such a fuss over one little mistake.

A bolt of lightning seared down beside her, charring a clump of ferns just inches from her right foot.

All right, all right! So it wasn’t a little mistake. So no one’s perfect, all right? I’ll see you in the morning.

Wrapping her cloak around her, she vanished in a cloud of pink smoke.

The smell of fresh baked muffins lingered behind her.

I hope she’ll be all right, whispered Princess

Reviews for The World's Worst Fairy Godmother

[jalenv_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Maybelle Clodnowski's heart is in the right place, but her skills as a fairy godmother haven't improved in over a century. Her version of the frog prince cure is a disaster that her boss, Mr. Peters, has to fix. He's giving Maybelle one last chance to do the job right or lose her wand and wings. Edna Prim, Fairy Godmother of the Year for many years running, is being sent along as her supervisor. Maybelle's last chance is a little girl who tries to be absolutely perfect in every way. Naturally, she has no friends. There's only one game the other kids ever let her play, and she was always in the title role. Why she thought she got that role is enough to make one gag. (Just remembering it -- well, it's a good thing I haven't had breakfast yet.) Susan's own maternal grandmother doesn't want to have anything to with her. So why does Maybelle's plan to help Susan involve having the child take a basket of fruit to her grandmother?Maybelle's plan won't work -- if an imp named Zozmagog has his way. Zozmagog's plan is music to his assistant, Zitzel's, ears. The contrast between the ingredients and words of the two spells is very great. The result is quite funny. However will things get sorted out?Brian Ajhar's cover doesn depict the main characters exactly as they appear in Katherine Coville's illustrations, but both artitsts capture the humor of the text and they're both quite good with expressions.There's a lesson to be learned, but it's not rammed down the reader's throat. Call this one good fun for kids and adults alike.