Transformed Life with Cancer

By Andrea Gibbs

Andrea Gibbs was 39 when she was diagnosed with an incurable form of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. As the vitality was drained from her she felt ill equipped to battle the disease. There was no one source that provided her with the information she felt she needed in order to take on this invader/assailant.
Through her journey Andrea gained a lot of knowledge about cancer. In this book she has consolidated her experiences so that others who receive a diagnosis of cancer can be better prepared for the battle ahead. She shares her mental highs and lows through diagnosis and treatment, the side effects on her body, diagnostic procedures and the rigour of treatments. She also provides tips she learned to get her through each day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrea Gibbs
• Release date: Sep 19, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301910953

Book preview

Transformed

Life with cancer

By Andrea Gibbs

Copyright 2012 Andrea Gibbs

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Cover by Ashley Gibbs

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

CHAPTER 0 - FOREWARD

Cancer has no respect for race, sex or age. It is oblivious to wealth, health, education or marital status. It does not discriminate and sometimes seems to choose its prey at random. I was young, fit and healthy when, at age thirty nine, I was diagnosed with an incurable type of cancer.

I needed information, so when I was diagnosed with follicular Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma it was not too difficult for me to uncover some basic facts. I learned about the cancer, chemotherapy protocols, possible side effects and was soon well versed in the lingo. All of that was useful to understand what was happening but I really wanted to find out how it was going to happen. I was looking for tips on how to make the treatment as easy as possible. Were there types of food that were easier on the stomach than others? Was there anything that I could do to get the most out of the chemotherapy drugs without them taking the most out of me? Was it better to shave my head with an electric or disposable razor?

This kind of information proved to be elusive and so I gingerly set out on my cancer journey having to improvise as I experienced issues. Sometimes I got lucky and a particular course of action worked for me. Other times I made mistakes that resulted in things being harder than they needed to be but, day by day, my knowledge expanded.

Cancer is horrible. Dealing with it is tough and until there are further medical breakthroughs that isn’t going to change. What I want to do is make it a little easier for others who have to experience a cancer diagnosis and treatment. This is the driving force behind this book. Within these pages I have tried to provide the reader with knowledge gained from my first hand experience. I offer tips on how to get through the diagnosis and treatment as well as providing scientific information in a digestible form. I also try to show the reader that it is quite normal to experience a gamete of emotions.

If I can make going through cancer easier for just one person then something good will come out of my experience.

Good luck on your journey.

CHAPTER 1 - Introduction

Contrary to many people, my cancer diagnosis came as a relief. A huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders because it meant that I was neither a hypochondriac nor crazy. The call, which essentially split my life into two sections, came at 9:20 on the evening of Tuesday January 20th, 2009 and confirmed my self diagnosis of Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma stage 3B (secondary symptoms). The only part I hadn’t already figured out was the sub category, and this proved to be difficult even for the pathologist.

It was a conversation and date that are forever etched into my memory, and I can still recite it almost word for word. As anyone who has received a diagnosis of cancer knows, the date and conversation never leave you. The diagnosis date provides a reset and another date from which to count the years. You keep track of how old you are, how many years you have been with your partner/spouse, etc. and now you count how many months/years have passed since diagnosis.

During that phone conversation I changed from being just me, to being a person with cancer. My life before that date I describe as BC (Before Cancer) and life afterwards is described as AD (After Diagnosis). It seemed that I was destined to become a cancer warrior. The term cancer survivor never felt quite right, because, for me, it conjures up someone who has gone through a battle (be it cancer or any other battle) and has come out the other side, sometimes bruised, other times beaten to within an inch of their lives. Whatever the severity of the fight, for me it defines a one time event. You survived, now go forward with the knowledge that you will not have to replicate that fight. Mine is a continuing struggle with the foe known as follicular Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (fNHL). Due to the insidious nature of this particular sub type of NHL, this is a war I will have to fight again and again because one clash does not win this battle. My future likely holds many battles, some of which I will win relatively easily, while others will take more of a toll. So for me, the term warrior better defines my situation. Many people may think of this as semantics; survivor/warrior what does it really matter? But it was not until I defined this that I could adequately prepare myself for what the future holds.

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If there was ever a right time to get cancer then mine came at exactly that. My partner of eleven years, Heather, and I had married five months before and we had moved into our first house just months before that. We both had good jobs, were settled into the neighbourhood and it was actually a relatively quiet time for us.

I was the last person people expected to be diagnosed with cancer. I was young (well, relatively), fit, lean, ate reasonably well and had massive amounts of energy and enthusiasm. Due to my age at diagnosis I fell into a no man’s land as cancer is perceived to mainly afflict seniors or children. There is a lot of support for those two groups, and, truth be told, they do make up the majority of cancer patients. However, there is a group of us, designated as young adults, who fit neither category. We are fewer in number and also have fewer support systems outside of the hospital. Couple this with the fact that more people are living or surviving cancer it becomes clear that certain services/support are lacking. There is a slow shift from cancer being an acute disease to that of a chronic one. Unfortunately, the medical establishment has not caught up with this yet and it can be hard for young adults who are in remission to find support services when they need them. This is why groups such as LiveStrong play an important role, because their focus is on helping the survivors.

*******

Before reading this book it might be helpful to know a little about me. I have always been a high achiever with the mantra that I either commit to something 100% or not commit at all. Doing something only half heartedly was not an option. I approach things by setting goals and then devise a plan or plans on how to reach that goal. Then I throw myself into the project.

In my professional career I obtained a PhD in Chemistry, worked predominantly in male dominated environments and gained rapid promotions. This was still not enough for me. Before I retired I wanted to prove I was the best of the best, be high up in a well renowned company and leave a lasting technical impression. Work did not take up all of my time and I was sociable with family and friends. There were weeks when I was out every night at one function or another but I was fortunate to be able to regenerate my batteries with only six hours of sleep. My friends compared me to Tigger or the Energizer Bunny for the bounce in my step and my ability to keep going and going.

I also have a taste for adventure. I was a member of the Trans Atlantic High Atlas Mountain Expedition who cycled 1600km in Morocco from the Sahara Desert to the Atlantic Ocean. I became a qualified hang glider pilot; my flying being curtailed only when I crashed my craft, badly broke my arm and was in plaster for three months. At University I represented the institution in both badminton and rugby. After university I left my family and England behind and emigrated with all I possessed in two suitcases to start a life in Canada. Since then I have tried many new sports in various leagues at various levels; curling, ice hockey, softball, triathlons, duathlons. So, as you have probably gathered, I am a very focused person. This focus would help me through the treatments, although my high standards for myself sometimes got in the way.

I have been touched by cancer in several ways. I lost my grandmother, grandfather and uncle to cancer. I watched my father-in-law and another uncle go through cancer treatment and a friend waste away from the disease. Having cancer changed my life. No doubt about it. I am a very different person now. I am grateful for little things, take nothing for granted and have reset my priorities. Leaving a lasting technical impression is no longer so important for me. I savour each day to a greater extend and live more in the present now. As strange as this may seem, if I could turn back the clock and not have cancer I wouldn’t. I am grateful for the experience and how it has reshaped me as a person. I’m not the only one; this is a sentiment held by many people who have experienced cancer first hand.

One of the most helpful things that my family did for me when I was going through treatment and recovering was to treat me no differently from when I was healthy. None of them got that pitying look in their eyes. They did not give me any chemotherapy credits, for example letting me win at board games, and the jokes and ribbing did not stop. They did, however, make allowances and adjustments in terms of my health and stamina. During get togethers a bed was always available for me and it was a non issue if I left the gathering for a while to sleep. All of this helped keep me positive and maintain as much normality as possible.

My wife and soul mate, Heather, and I had always been busy with adventures but there were lots of things we were putting off until retirement. My diagnosis was both a reality check and a wake up call. We realized that the future is not certain; there are absolutely no guarantees. We have no idea how long I will be in remission, or how long either of us will have our health. We could be struck down at any moment. We decided to really live now and make every moment count. I once heard that nobody is 100% guaranteed to live to next year. There is a clock hanging over everyone’s head. Cancer patients just have the clock ticking a little louder and that is how we have chosen to go forward.

To anyone with cancer – do not abandon hope, do not give up the battle. Cancer is slowly turning from an acute disease to a chronic one and the pace of research to cure cancer is increasing every day.

CHAPTER 2 - In the Beginning

May of 2008 brought fantastic weather with bright sunny days and mild temperatures; perfect for working on the house and garden. We had purchased and moved into our 1960s house just six weeks earlier and were still in the throes of unpacking, arranging and then rearranging. We had moved with the help of family and friends which had been physically demanding and we were surrounded by the usual chaos of boxes and furniture that accompany a relocation. In some instances it was a case of one step forward and two steps backwards as anyone who has ever moved knows. The weeks leading up to the move had been pretty stressful and this was unlikely to diminish because, after being together for eleven years, Heather and I had decided to marry in August. Although it was going to be a relatively small wedding there was still a lot to organize and planning was being hampered by the move.

It was, then, a good thing that I thrive in these kinds of conditions. I have always been in constant motion and need a lot of tasks to do to keep me occupied. I would put in a full day at work then come home and work on home tasks, projects or hobbies until, on average, a little after 9pm each day. I have always had this level of energy and had thought little of it. It came naturally.

However, it was now May and I was beginning to feel a little fatigued. It came on gradually, starting with me waking not feeling as refreshed as I used to. Instead of jumping out of bed to start a new day I was slowly rising. I had less liveliness at work and had less energy in the evenings meaning that I was stopping home activities and settling down for the night around 8pm. Still, we had been extremely physically and mentally active for the last couple of months and we put my tiredness down to overdoing it (which I have a tendency to do). Perhaps I was beginning to feel my thirty eight years, in which case old age sucked!

I had a doctor’s appointment booked for the end of the month and during my visit mentioned my tiredness. Something was not quite right because normally, even if I did overdo things, I could bounce back within a few days. Now I wasn’t able to. My doctor ordered a standard set of blood work to see if there was