Candide's Two Girlfriends

By David Bruce

For Adults Only. No violence. Some humor. Explicit sex. Male fantasy.

Chapter 1: Betty and Vicky Meet Candide.

Times were tough, economically and politically and socially, and Betty and Vicky were on the streets, and not by choice. Why would two women be on the streets if they had another, warmer place—with food—to be. Still, they had each other. What they had previously had was bad boyfriends, bad friends, and bad bars. But they were problem-solvers, and they were prepared to solve their problems the way that many women in their circumstances do: by starting a small business in public relations, also known as prostitution.

Walking toward them was a man they knew by sight, someone who had lived in the area for many years, someone who was single and sometimes thought to be gay, someone who had a job, and someone who did not have a bad reputation, perhaps caused by having little reputation at all, due to a quiet and gentle and shy nature. If he wasn’t gay, he might be willing to sleep with one of both of them—for money, of course.

Before he reached them, another woman—much older than Betty and Vicky—approached him and begged: “Sir, I have three kids to feed. Can you help us?” The man shrugged, then reached into a pocket and pulled out some paper money. He hesitated and then gave her a $20 bill. This was a lot of money to her, and she was happy to get it, but she asked, “Can you please give more, sir?” She thought, I usually have to beg much harder than this to get even $1. Most people give nothing. Of course, most people can afford to give only a little or nothing. He gave me a lot, and maybe I can get a little more. The man shrugged again, and then he gave her a $5 bill. Twenty-five dollars was the result of a normal day’s begging to the woman, and she was happy and said, “Bless you, sir.” She meant it, and she really did have three children.

Betty and Vicky watched this transaction silently, and they did not approach the man. But they did follow him to his home, which was modest. He was hardly rich, but he was frugal. He had no debt except for a credit card that he paid off each month. In hard economic and social times, a person with a job and no debt is sometimes considered rich—and is rich when compared to people with lots of debt and no job.

Betty asked Vicky, “What do we do? Should we knock on his door and ask him to sleep with one of us?”

Vicky replied, “Will the answer be yes? Isn’t he supposed to be gay?”

“I’m not sure he’s gay. Sometimes, I’ve seen him staring at us, but he’s always been too shy to talk to us.”

“It’s cold out. We don’t have anywhere to stay, and his home looks warm.”

Betty said, “Maybe we can convince him to sleep with both of us and let us stay the night.”

Vicky replied, “Maybe we can convince him to sleep with both of us and let us stay lots of nights. If he’s shy, he may be very happy to have two cute girls like us be interested in him—interested enough to do what most long-time girlfriends do with long-time boyfriends. If he doesn’t want to sleep with us, the most we can get from him is some money and maybe a place to stay one night. But if we can get him to sleep with us, we may have a place to stay as long as we like, assuming that we keep him interested in us. Remember: gay or straight, men like bl*wj*bs. Let me do most of the talking, and you follow my lead. And remember, one or both of us must have sex with him very, very quickly.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Bruce
• Release date: Oct 22, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301175642

David Bruce

I would like to see my retellings of classic literature used in schools, so I give permission to the country of Finland (and all other countries) to give copies of my eBooks to all students and citizens forever. I also give permission to the state of Texas (and all other states) to give copies of my eBooks to all students forever. I also give permission to all teachers to give copies of my eBooks to all students forever.Teachers need not actually teach my retellings. Teachers are welcome to give students copies of my eBooks as background material. For example, if they are teaching Homer’s “Iliad” and “Odyssey,” teachers are welcome to give students copies of my “Virgil’s ‘Aeneid’: A Retelling in Prose” and tell students, “Here’s another ancient epic you may want to read in your spare time.”Do you know a language other than English? I give you permission to translate any of my retellings of classic literature, copyright your translation in your name, publish or self-publish your translation (but do say it's a translation of something I wrote), and keep all the royalties for yourself.Libraries, download my books free. This is from Smashwords' FAQ section:"Does Smashwords distribute to libraries?"Yes! We have two methods of distributing to libraries: 1. Via library aggregators. Library aggregators, such as OverDrive and Baker & Taylor's Axis360 service, allow libraries to purchase books. Smashwords is working with multiple library aggregators, and is in the process of signing up additional aggregators. 2. On August 7, 2012, Smashwords announced Library Direct. This distribution option allows libraries and library networks to acquire and host Smashwords ebooks on their own servers. This option is only available to libraries who place large "opening collection" orders, typically in the range of $20,000-$50,000, and the libraries must have the ability to host and manage the books, and apply industry-standard DRM to manage one-checkout-at-a-time borrows."David Bruce is a retired anecdote columnist at "The Athens News" in Athens, Ohio. He has also retired from teaching English and philosophy at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio.SOME BOOKS BY DAVID BRUCERetellings of a Classic Work of Literature:Arden of Favorsham: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Alchemist: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Arraignment, or Poetaster: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Bartholomew Fair: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Case is Altered: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Catiline’s Conspiracy: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Devil is an Ass: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Epicene: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Every Man in His Humor: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Every Man Out of His Humor: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Fountain of Self-Love, or Cynthia’s Revels: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Magnetic Lady: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The New Inn: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Sejanus' Fall: A RetellingBen Jonson’s The Staple of News: A RetellingBen Jonson’s A Tale of a Tub: A RetellingBen Jonson’s Volpone, or the Fox: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s Complete Plays: RetellingsChristopher Marlowe’s Dido, Queen of Carthage: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus: Retellings of the 1604 A-Text and of the 1616 B-TextChristopher Marlowe’s Edward II: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s The Massacre at Paris: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s The Rich Jew of Malta: A RetellingChristopher Marlowe’s Tamburlaine, Parts 1 and 2: RetellingsDante’s Divine Comedy: A Retelling in ProseDante’s Inferno: A Retelling in ProseDante’s Purgatory: A Retelling in ProseDante’s Paradise: A Retelling in ProseThe Famous Victories of Henry V: A RetellingFrom the Iliad to the Odyssey: A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna’s PosthomericaGeorge Chapman, Ben Jonson, and John Marston’s Eastward Ho! A RetellingGeorge Peele: Five Plays Retold in Modern EnglishGeorge Peele’s The Arraignment of Paris: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s The Battle of Alcazar: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s David and Bathsheba, and the Tragedy of Absalom: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s Edward I: A RetellingGeorge Peele’s The Old Wives’ Tale: A RetellingGeorge-A-Greene, The Pinner of Wakefield: A RetellingThe History of King Leir: A RetellingHomer’s Iliad: A Retelling in ProseHomer’s Odyssey: A Retelling in ProseJason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes’ ArgonauticaThe Jests of George Peele: A RetellingJohn Ford: Eight Plays Translated into Modern EnglishJohn Ford’s The Broken Heart: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Fancies, Chaste and Noble: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Lady’s Trial: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Lover’s Melancholy: A RetellingJohn Ford’s Love’s Sacrifice: A RetellingJohn Ford’s Perkin Warbeck: A RetellingJohn Ford’s The Queen: A RetellingJohn Ford’s ‘Tis Pity She’s a Whore: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Campaspe: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Endymion, the Man in the Moon: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Gallathea, aka Galathea, aka Galatea: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Love's Metamorphosis: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Midas: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Mother Bombie: A RetellingJohn Lyly's Sappho and Phao: A RetellingJohn Lyly's The Woman in the Moon: A RetellingJohn Webster’s The White Devil: A RetellingJ.W. Gent.'s The Valiant Scot: A RetellingKing Edward III: A RetellingMankind: A Medieval Morality Play (A Retelling)Margaret Cavendish's The Unnatural Tragedy: A RetellingThe Merry Devil of Edmonton: A RetellingRobert Greene’s Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay: A RetellingThe Taming of a Shrew: A RetellingTarlton’s Jests: A RetellingThomas Middleton and Thomas Dekker’s The Roaring Girl: A RetellingThomas Middleton and William Rowley’s The Changeling: A RetellingThomas Middleton's A Chaste Maid in Cheapside: A RetellingThomas Middleton's Women Beware Women: A RetellingThe Trojan War and Its Aftermath: Four Ancient Epic PoemsVirgil’s Aeneid: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 5 Late Romances: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 10 Histories: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 11 Tragedies: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 12 Comedies: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 38 Plays: Retellings in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 1: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 2 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 2: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 1 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 1: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 2 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 2: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s 3 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 3: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s As You Like It: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Coriolanus: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Cymbeline: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Hamlet: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Henry V: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Henry VIII: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s King John: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s King Lear: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Macbeth: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Othello: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Pericles, Prince of Tyre: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Richard II: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Richard III: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Tempest: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Two Gentlemen of Verona: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Two Noble Kinsmen: A Retelling in ProseWilliam Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale: A Retelling in ProseChildren’s Biography:Nadia Comaneci: Perfect TenAnecdote Collections:250 Anecdotes About Music250 Anecdotes About Opera250 Anecdotes About Religion250 Anecdotes About Religion: Volume 2Be a Work of Art: 250 Anecdotes and StoriesThe Coolest People in Art: 250 AnecdotesThe Coolest People in the Arts: 250 AnecdotesThe Coolest People in Books: 250 AnecdotesThe Coolest People in Comedy: 250 AnecdotesCreate, Then Take a Break: 250 AnecdotesDon’t Fear the Reaper: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Art: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Books: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Books, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Books, Volume 3: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Comedy: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Dance: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Families: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Families, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Families, Volume 3: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Families, Volume 4: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Families, Volume 5: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Families, Volume 6: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Movies: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Music: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Music, Volume 3: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Neighborhoods: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Relationships: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Sports: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Television and Radio: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People in Theater: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People Who Live Life: 250 AnecdotesThe Funniest People Who Live Life, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesMaximum Cool: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People in Movies: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People in Politics and History: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People in Politics and History, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People in Politics and History, Volume 3: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People in Religion: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People in Sports: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People Who Live Life: 250 AnecdotesThe Most Interesting People Who Live Life, Volume 2: 250 AnecdotesReality is Fabulous: 250 Anecdotes and StoriesResist Psychic Death: 250 AnecdotesSeize the Day: 250 Anecdotes and StoriesKindest People Series:The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 1The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 2The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds: Volume 3Discussion Guide Series:Dante’s Inferno: A Discussion GuideDante’s Paradise: A Discussion GuideDante’s Purgatory: A Discussion GuideForrest Carter’s The Education of Little Tree: A Discussion GuideHomer’s Iliad: A Discussion GuideHomer’s Odyssey: A Discussion GuideJane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: A Discussion GuideJerry Spinelli’s Maniac Magee: A Discussion GuideJerry Spinelli’s Stargirl: A Discussion GuideJonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”: A Discussion GuideLloyd Alexander’s The Black Cauldron: A Discussion GuideLloyd Alexander’s The Book of Three: A Discussion GuideMark Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: A Discussion GuideMark Twain’s The Adventures of Tom Sawyer: A Discussion GuideMark Twain’s A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court: A Discussion GuideMark Twain’s The Prince and the Pauper: A Discussion GuideNancy Garden’s Annie on My Mind: A Discussion GuideNicholas Sparks’ A Walk to Remember: A Discussion GuideVirgil’s Aeneid: A Discussion GuideVirgil’s “The Fall of Troy”: A Discussion GuideVoltaire’s Candide: A Discussion GuideWilliam Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV: A Discussion GuideWilliam Shakespeare’s Macbeth: A Discussion GuideWilliam Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Discussion GuideWilliam Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: A Discussion GuideWilliam Sleator’s Oddballs: A Discussion GuideComposition Projects:Composition Project: Writing an Autobiographical EssayComposition Project: Writing a Hero-of-Human-Rights EssayComposition Project: Writing a Problem-Solving LetterTeaching:How to Teach the Autobiographical Essay Composition Project in 9 ClassesAutobiography (of sorts):My Life and Hard Times, or Down and Out in Athens, OhioMiscellaneous:Mark Twain Anecdotes and QuotesProblem-Solving 101: Can You Solve the Problem?Why I Support Same-Sex Civil MarriageBlogs:https://davidbruceblog429065578.wordpress.comhttps://davidbrucebooks.blogspot.comhttps://davidbruceblog4.wordpress.comhttps://bruceb22.wixsite.com/website

Book preview

Candide’s Two Girlfriends

By David Bruce

***

By David Bruce

***

Previously published under a pseudonym.

Copyright 2011 by Bruce D. Bruce

SMASHWORDS EDITION

Front Cover Photograph: Copyright by Kornilovdream

Agency: Dreamstime

For Adults Only

Online reviews are appreciated.

•••

Chapter 1: Betty and Vicky Meet Candide

Times were tough, economically and politically and socially, and Betty and Vicky were on the streets, and not by choice. Why would two women be on the streets if they had another, warmer place — with food — to be. Still, they had each other. What they had previously had was bad boyfriends, bad friends, and bad bars. But they were problem-solvers, and they were prepared to solve their problems the way that many women in their circumstances do: by starting a small business in public relations, also known as prostitution.

Walking toward them was a man they knew by sight, someone who had lived in the area for many years, someone who was single and sometimes thought to be gay, someone who had a job, and someone who did not have a bad reputation, perhaps caused by having little reputation at all, due to a quiet and gentle and shy nature. If he wasn’t gay, he might be willing to sleep with one or both of them — for money, of course.

Before he reached them, another woman — much older than Betty and Vicky — approached him and begged: Sir, I have three kids to feed. Can you help us? The man shrugged, then reached into a pocket and pulled out some paper money. He hesitated and then gave her a $20 bill. This was a lot of money to her, and she was happy to get it, but she asked, Can you please give more, sir? She thought, I usually have to beg much harder than this to get even $1. Most people give nothing. Of course, most people can afford to give only a little or nothing. He gave me a lot, and maybe I can get a little more. The man shrugged again, and then he gave her a $5 bill. Twenty-five dollars was the result of a normal day’s begging to the woman, and she was happy and said, Bless you, sir. She meant it, and she really did have three children.

Betty and Vicky watched this transaction silently, and they did not approach the man. But they did follow him to his home, which was modest. He was hardly rich, but he was frugal. He had no debt except for a credit card that he paid off each month. In hard economic and social times, a person with a job and no debt is sometimes considered rich — and is rich when compared to people with lots of debt and no job.

Betty asked Vicky, What do we do? Should we knock on his door and ask him to sleep with one of us?

Vicky replied, Will the answer be yes? Isn’t he supposed to be gay?

I’m not sure he’s gay. Sometimes, I’ve seen him staring at us, but he’s always been too shy to talk to us.

It’s cold out. We don’t have anywhere to stay, and his home looks warm.

Betty said, Maybe we can convince him to sleep with both of us and let us stay the night.

Vicky replied, Maybe we can convince him to sleep with both of us and let us stay lots of nights. If he’s shy, he may be very happy to have two cute girls like us be interested in him — interested enough to do what most long-time girlfriends do with long-time boyfriends. If he doesn’t want to sleep with us, the most we can get from him is some money and maybe a place to stay one night. But if we can get him to sleep with us, we may have a place to stay as long as we like, assuming that we keep him interested in us. Remember: gay or straight, men like blowjobs. Let me do most of the talking, and you follow my lead. And remember, one or both of us must have sex with him very, very quickly.

They knocked on the door.

The man answered, and Vicky said, We are really thirsty and need some water. Can we come in?

Water is something that very few people will not give to another human being, despite the suspicions that people so often have. Of course, it helped that Betty and Vicky were fairly young, really pretty, and most definitely female. Females can often get what they want.

The man let them in and got them both glasses of water, which they sipped because they did not really want water. The home was warm compared to the outside and getting warmer because the man had turned up the heat when he entered.

Vicky said, Look, I’ll be honest with you. We need a place to stay for a while, and we want to stay here with you.

The man said, I don’t know ….

Vicky said, We have mad skills. I’m a doctor, and this is my nurse.

Vicky took