Finding Home: Brian's Journey

By CaSondra Poulsen

Finding Home: Brian’s Journey is the sequel to Calling Me Home. Brian’s story was just beginning as his sister Samantha’s came full circle. Now as Brian returns to his military career in a training unit outside of Huntington Beach, California, the transfer offers him the opportunity to pursue Taya, the free-spirited chef he left behind when he chose to work through his Posttraumatic Stress Disorder alone.

When his dreams with Taya are shattered, Brian is angry at the world and its creator. His family’s peace adds to his struggle to find a place where he belongs. Brian makes a hasty decision to transfer back to his combat team, daring death to claim him. Before his arrival back in Washington with his Stryker Combat Team, Brian takes a road trip back to his father’s hometown of Patterson, Missouri. It is here Brian remembers visiting his grandparents as a child, when life was simple and carefree.

In the small Southeast Missouri town, Brian begins to face the demons that haunt him. With the enigmatic friendship of Mac, a young woman with a haunting past, Brian learns to live with his mistakes. Just when he is grasping the peace he craves and love even seems like a possibility again, duty calls and he returns to the warzone in Afghanistan. Can he forgive himself and let go of his angry pain to find love again? Will Brian find a place to call home or will his journey end on foreign soil?

• Language: English
• Publisher: CaSondra Poulsen
• Release date: Dec 1, 2012
• ISBN: 9781478261292

CaSondra Poulsen

CaSondra lives in Nebraska with her husband, two sons, and two cats. She volunteers as a tutor for the Lincoln Literacy Council and enjoys many hobbies. Fall is her favorite time of year, if you don't count winter, spring or summer.

Book preview

Finding Home

CaSondra Poulsen

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Copyright © 2012 by CaSondra Poulsen.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any way by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author except as provided by USA copyright law. This novel is a work of fiction. Names, descriptions, entities, and incidents included in the story are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, events, and entities is entirely coincidental.

Book design copyright 2012 by CaSondra Poulsen. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph by Alexa Manley Beltz

Cover design and Interior design by Steve Poulsen.

Published by Ballad Publishing Company, PO Box 6193 Lincoln, NE 68506, USA

Ballad Publishing Company and the MANDOLIN logo are trademarks of Ballad Publishing Company or an affiliated company Published in the United States of America

ISBN-13: 978-1478261292 ISBN-10: 1478261293

1. Fiction/Romance/Contemporary

2. Fiction/Family Life/Military

More Books By CaSondra Poulsen

Torn Hearts

Calling Me Home

For my son, Jared

Because you stand in no one’s shadow

Acknowledgments

As always, I thank my Creator for the ability to put my vivid imagination to good use. Thanks to my husband, Steve, for his support and design efforts. I appreciate all you do. To my sons, Paul and Jared, thank you for your interest and sense of humor. I am the luckiest mom in the world and thank God each day for you. Many thanks to Susan Eaton for your tireless efforts in helping me track down articles and books on Josie Forbes. I could not have used her in this book without your help. Cathy Royer, thank you for sharing your perfectly timed dream with me. I hope The Smokin’ Hog came to life in a way that made you smile. I cannot forget to thank my cousin, Tim Pogue, for his willingness to answer my questions on motorcycle engines and then patiently give me definitions for the lingo he used. Porting, polishing and Twinkie have new meanings for me now. Your knowledge has made it appear I know more than I really do about motorcycle mechanics. Thank you for your help in spite of the years I pestered you as a kid. You are as cool now as you were then.

Thank you Josh Blackwelder, Alan Terry, and Alexa Beltz for allowing me to use your photos in the cover contest for Finding Home: Brian’s Journey. I loved each of them for the different aspects of the story they captured. Much thanks to my editor, Lisa Hazard, for helping me hone this manuscript into the love story it was meant to be. Your skills allow me to focus on the creative side of writing, which is where I enjoy residing. Thank you. Many thanks to all our service men and woman who protect freedom; your service and sacrifice set a benchmark for how great America truly is. A simple thank you hardly seems adequate in return for what you have given, but I offer my gratitude nonetheless. Thank you to those who read my books. Your support and encouragement keep me striving to give you love stories you can curl up with.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. ~Helen Keller

Chapter One

Taya stood, frowning before the mirror that hung on her closet door. Her blonde hair almost touched her slender shoulders. She smoothed imaginary wrinkles from the white linen top before tracing the embroidered flowers that edged the slit in the front. Brown, yellow and orange flowers trailed down the center, creating a rectangle. Pulling her shoulders back, she turned sideways, inspecting the denim-washed broom skirt. Behind her, the bed and dresser were piled with every clean stitch of clothing she owned, her attempt to pacify the need for the perfect outfit. It had taken all afternoon to decide on what she now wore. Dressy, but not too dressy. And comfortable. She needed to be comfortable tonight. With her nerves on edge, she did not want to be fussing with her clothes.

What were you thinking? How could you agree to have dinner with him? What will Greg say? she asked her reflection. Blue eyes filled with reprimanding anticipation stared back at her. Shaking her head, she slid her foot into a white sandal without answering.

Greg had been patient and supportive when he and Taya started dating. He was understanding and listened when she told him about Brian. She, too, listened when Greg told her about his ex-wife and their failed marriage. Their relationship grew out of a common need for undemanding companionship and the desire for acceptance for who they were as fallible individuals. Greg blamed himself and the long, demanding hours he spent at the hospital. In the final months of his marriage, he admitted to his wife he chose the hospital over her and wished he could love her as much as he did his profession. A week later, he received the divorce papers.

Why did I say yes, she silently asked, looking at her shoes.

As she asked herself this question, she already knew the answer. Greg would be disappointed, but understanding. She wanted closure…and she was curious. And, she thought, I’ve missed him, too.

She took one final look in the mirror, then turned and walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. Looking at the clock, she put the bottle back into the refrigerator. He would be here any minute. Instead, she picked up Tiger’s water bowl and filled it with fresh water. She jumped at the sound of the doorbell, sloshing water from the cat’s bowl onto the floor. Mid-reach for a dishtowel that lay in a tossed fashion on the counter, the doorbell rang again. She dropped her hand and left the spilt water on the floor to go answer the front door.

~~~

Brian passed an eighteen-wheeler on the open desert highway, heading toward Huntington Beach. The warm air passed through the open vents in his jacket. The smell of the ocean faintly held onto the breeze, bringing a heightened sense of anticipation. Brian held the throttle down, leaving the diesel and trailer far behind him.

His thoughts drifted to Taya. She looked so beautiful, so lonely, on the beach this morning. He had felt an urgent need to touch her, hold her, when he spotted her at the water’s edge. Nevertheless, he held back at her reserved surprise when she saw him. So many emotions danced across her face. Shock. Longing. Happiness. Anger. Hurt. Thinking about her face filled him with regret. He had acted like such a calloused fool a year ago.

Releasing his grip on the throttle, he slowed down, maneuvering his motorcycle onto the side street and followed the same path he had walked so long ago in the pouring rain, searching for his sister, Samantha. He signaled his intent to turn before leaning with the bike and rolled up Taya’s driveway. The house looked the same as the last time he had been there. The yard had long since recovered from the fight he and Tom had over Samantha. He shook his head at the memory. Samantha had been attacked and suffered from amnesia. When Tom saw him, he thought Brian had been her attacker. Brian thought Tom kidnapped her. A fight was inevitable.

Afterward, he had met Taya for the first time. She had taken his breath away and set him at ease all at the same time. He chuckled aloud at the thought of Tom’s disapproval of Brian’s interest in his sister. It was strange to think of Tom and Samantha expecting twins soon, even though he knew they would be great parents. Maybe next year me and Taya will be expecting a baby, he thought with reckless joy. He caught the heel of his boot on the kickstand and with a practiced ease, pushed it downward. Leaning back, he removed his helmet and hung it on the handlebar. He stared at the house to see if Taya heard him pull up.

With remorse-filled want, he hoped she would run to him and wrap her arms around his neck. He stared at the unopened red door, combing his finger though his hair and then swung his right leg over the bike to stand. He bent down to pull his clinging jeans loose from his prosthetic leg. Rubbing the building ache in his thigh, he knew a storm was approaching. He should have borrowed his buddy’s car. It was sure to be a treacherous ride home in the dark with the rain and wind attempting to knock him from his bike. He straightened and walked up the sidewalk to the still closed door and pressed the doorbell.

He paced back and forth on the porch, more nervous than he thought reasonable. After wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, he pressed the doorbell again. What if she isn’t home? What if she’s standing me up? What if she doesn’t want to see me? He pressed the doorbell again and glanced at his bike. His stare landed on the new helmet he had bought for her to wear. He could hear soft footsteps approaching and turned to face the door as it swung open.

A bit impatient, aren’t you? Taya asked, breathless.

A million witty thoughts floated into oblivion as he stared at her.

You’re ogling, she said, the corners of her lips curved upward. I know your mother taught you better. She attempted a stern look of reprimand.

Sorry. He looked at his prosthetic leg, thinking he should take it off and club himself in the head with it.

Would you like to come in? I need to wipe up a mess before we go. She took a step back so he could enter. Brian let out a held breath and crossed the threshold of the house. She closed the door behind him. Do you want a drink before we go?

No. Thanks though, he said. She shrugged and walked into the kitchen. He silently followed her, watching while she picked up a rag and bent to wipe up some water next to the cat’s dish. You look stunning, he said to her back, pushing his nervousness behind his confidence.

Taya stood without a reply, her back still to him, and hung the wet dishtowel across the edge of the sink. Slowly she turned to him, smoothing the front of her skirt. He was relieved to see she was at least a little nervous, too.

So where are you taking me for dinner tonight? she asked, ignoring his compliment.

Some place quiet so we can talk. He watched as she twisted her fingers together; a smile played at the corner of his mouth. I promised you a proper date and I am long overdue to follow through with it. He held back as the urge to pull her into his arms washed over him. She looked up, meeting his eyes. He could not place what he saw in them.

I told you. You don’t owe me anything. Not even a proper date, she said, squaring her shoulders with a firm set to her jaw.

I may be late, but I always keep my promises. He reached for her hand and pulled her closer. She came with mild hesitation. I’ll never be more sorry for anything than I am for hurting you, Taya.

She looked up at him, bringing their lips only inches apart. He leaned down to close the gap. She stepped away.

I’m sorry. I can’t. She cast her eyes to the floor. Tiger tucked his head under the edge of her skirt and rolled onto his back to play with the flowing fabric. Brian watched her eyes grow damp.

No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I…It just felt right at the time. He sighed.

I know, she said, gripping the sides of her skirt. We should probably go. We don’t want to be late for our reservations. She looked up at him with a sad, forced smile. Brian’s heart tightened in his chest. I’ll never hurt you again, he thought, I promise. He stretched out his hand and waited for her to take it.

I don’t have any reservations, he spoke softly. He watched as her head jerked up and met his eyes, hoping she could see the love in his heart through them. She rested her palm against his outstretched hand.

That could be a problem.

Chapter Two

Taya turned to lock the door as Brian walked to his bike and unfastened a helmet from the seat. He heard the light tapping of her shoes on the sidewalk and turned to watch her approach. Her eyes grew larger with each step toward him, which he noticed had slowed considerably. A mischievous smile spread across his face.

I’m in a skirt, she whispered, lowering her head, and I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before.

Brian stepped closer to her with the helmet still in his hands. He tapped the molded plastic until she looked up at him.

"Well, now. That could be a problem. He teased and her face flushed bright pink. Would you be more comfortable if you changed into some jeans?" He rolled the helmet in his hands. She nodded and turned for the door.

Halfway up the sidewalk, she looked over her shoulder and asked, Would you like to take my car instead?

Nope. I like the thought of you holding onto me.

She turned back toward the house without a word. He watched until the door slowly closed behind her before he allowed the nervousness he felt rise to the surface. Wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, he leaned against the bike. A few minutes passed. Nervousness began to give way to panic. What if she changed her mind? He pushed off the bike and quickly strode up the sidewalk, opening the front door.

Taya, he called as he entered.

Silence answered him and he walked down the hall toward her bedroom. Sunlight cascaded across the floor from the opened door.

Taya, he said again, peeking through the doorway. He smiled at the piles of clothing littered across the floor and covering the bed. A door opened behind him. He turned at the sound.

What are you doing? she asked, her voice rising with each word. She pushed past him and closed her bedroom door behind him.

He watched without answering, unsure if her reddened face was anger or embarrassment. Instead, he let his eyes travel over her frame. She still wore the same embroidered blouse, but her legs were now trimmed in a dark pair of well-fitting jeans. She cleared her throat and he lifted his eyes to meet hers. He offered a sheepish grin when her hands rested on her hips.

I guess I am a bit impatient. He shrugged his shoulders.

Humph, she said and walked away from him. He followed her out of the house to his bike.

Picking up the helmet, he gently placed it on her head, letting his fingers brush across her cheeks as he pulled the straps together and fastened them. With his boot, he pushed down the foot-pegs for her.

This is where you put your feet. Does the helmet feel comfortable? he asked when he saw her adjusting it.

Yes. I’m just not used to wearing one, she said, tucking her hair behind the straps.

You’ll get used to it, he said as he straddled the bike and kicked the stand up. Ready?

She stepped closer. It looks intimidating.

Just put your left foot on the peg and swing your right leg over. Use me for support if you need to. He patted the seat behind him. Taya let out a nervous laugh and rested her hand on his shoulder. He felt the warmth of her touch long after she removed her hand.

Once she was on the bike, Brian turned the key and the engine roared to life. He felt her arms quickly wrap around his waist. Revving the motor, he felt her hold tighten and the helmet push between his shoulder blades.

Taya?

Yes? she yelled into his ear. He winced.

I’ll go slow. Just tap my shoulder or pat my stomach if I need to slow down for you. And lean back a little, so you can see.

When he felt the pressure disappear from his back, he patted her knee. With a practiced skill, he maneuvered the bike out of the driveway and down the street, taking as many side streets as he could until she relaxed her death grip on his abdomen.

He turned onto CA-1 and felt her grip tighten. Letting one hand go of the handlebar, he covered her hands with his. He felt her press against his back before her chin rested near his ear.

Where are we going? she yelled. He winced and patted her hand without answering before gripping the handlebar once more.

A few minutes later, they stopped at a red light. Brian leaned back and turned his head toward her.

Walt’s Wharf. I heard they have great seafood.

They do. Their yellowfin tuna melts in your mouth. But I’m not sure how quiet it will be there.

The light turned green, Brian squeezed her hand and slowly moved the bike through the intersection and onto the main street. Several blocks down the road, he parked and turned off the motorcycle. Taya pried her fingers out of his shirt. He chuckled when he saw the wrinkled clump of fabric left behind from her clenched fists.

Taya stumbled when she tried to dismount the bike. Brian grabbed her arm to steady her.

I’m good. Thanks, she said. My legs feel a little like Jell-O. Is that normal? She rubbed her thighs as she spoke.

Yeah, it’s normal, he said, taking off his helmet and swinging his leg over the back of the bike.

He reached down and shook his pant leg loose from his prosthesis. When he looked up, Taya was watching him, holding the helmet in

Reviews for Finding Home

[judyg54 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is the follow up story to "Calling Me Home" (which I loved). Once again this author does an amazing job of writing a story that is full of emotion, drama and love. I must say that I was taken by surprise at what happened in this story and wasn't sure I liked what was going on, but in time I came to understand and see that what happened God was able to work out for the good of two people who needed each other. The beginning of the book starts with a very appropriate quote from Helen Keller, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." This was a very good quote for the plot of this story.Brian Richards (who you know well from book one) is trying to find his roots by heading to southern Missouri on his motorcycle. After stopping at a diner, he finds someone has messed with his bike and it no longer runs. The mechanic who helps him tear it apart and repair it is "Mac" a young lady who runs a repair shop. Both of these individuals have deep sorrows in their life and they both will help each other in getting past the hurts and finding their way back to God. It was a touching story and I loved the family members in both of these characters lives, plus the people in the small town set in southern Missouri. You will laugh and you will cry, but you will be glad you took the time to read "Finding Home". I can't say enough good things about this author and way she has weaved a wonderful tale in these two books. I highly recommend them both!

[love2readnovels_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Brian Richards has been working through lots of difficult issues over the last year. When he returns to his military career he finds himself stationed near where Taya Mitchell lives. In dealing with the loss of his leg and PTSD, one of things he did was walk away from Taya because he felt he was not whole anymore. Now he's back and ready to pursue a relationship. But a moment of time changes everything and Brian is devastated. Now angry at God and the world, he decides to return to his combat team hoping he won't survive. But before her goes, he takes a road trip to Missouri, where he remembers visiting his grandparents, in hopes of finding some kind of peace. What he finds is Mac. A woman who is dealing with her own demons. As their friendships builds, he finds himself longing for home and the possibility of love. But duty calls. Will Brian work through all the anger and pain? Will he return to Missouri and find the love and home he so greatly craves?This was an excellent sequel to Calling Me Home. When I finished the first book I longed to hear Brian's story and how everything worked out. Once again this author delivers a great relationship-driven story. That's something that just keeps me quickly turning pages. I loved it! Seeing how the characters deal with their struggles always encourages me, in some way, on how to deal with mine. There was a twist in the story I didn't see coming and it caught me by surprise. As a reader I didn't like it, (at first) but let me tell you, it truly enhanced the story. The characters are ones that you can easily relate to. I felt like they were hometown friends. I loved how the author brought to light the fact that whatever we have belongs to God. In Brian's case, even his leg. That's a powerful message and one I think we tend to forget. If you enjoy satisfying endings, then you are in for a real treat! Though this is a sequel, you could read it as a stand alone but I would recommend you read the stories in order. It will make your reading experience much richer. I would also encourage you not to miss the author's note at the end. I'm looking forward to seeing more by this author!*This complimentary copy was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review*