How to Hate Less, Date Better, and Love Always
By Tricia Maxx
()
About this ebook
When Tricia meets people they are often surprised by the fact that she is a woman of Asian descent with a thick southern accent; fascinated, they immediately begin to question how she came to be. The answer to their question is not quite as simple as one would expect, as it is one filled with twists and turns, it is a story of perpetual abandonment, endless disappointment, and cyclical loss. After Tricia reveals her background, people become astounded by how she lives life so happily, and they ask to know her secret. Tricia believes there are many people who are experiencing unhappiness and failed relationships due to the abandonment issues they are unaware they have. Known as the “Cheater expert,” she has a Facebook following and a successful dating blog where her subscribers often confide in her by sharing the difficulty they have being comfortable in their relationships due to the pain from loss, abuse, and abandonment. As a result they often go through life unhappy, which keeps them in the cycle of attracting unsuitable lovers and being in unpleasant situations. Owning all of her mistakes and embarrassments, from her stint as an alcoholic and drug abuser to the failed, toxic relationships she endured because she thought she needed to, Tricia shares her story in a raw, honest semi-memoir, How to Hate Less, Date Better, and Love Always. Tricia explores her past, how it affected her outlook on choosing whom to let into her life. She reveals her secrets on how to catch and leave the cheater, avoid scandalous Facebook situations, and shares her antidotes on how anyone can overcome obstacles to find love and happiness on their own terms.
Tricia Maxx
Tricia Maxx was born in the bible belt of United States to a retired military sergeant father and a mother of Thai decent. Before Tricia was a year old, her mother left her behind to be raised by her father. Upon finding her mother thirty one years later she learned the man who raised her was not her biological father and that her mother had remarried four times; she has three half-brothers from her mother's marriages she has never met. She is currently single, has never married, has no kids, and resides happily in Los Angeles, California where she works as a private chef.
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How to Hate Less, Date Better, and Love Always - Tricia Maxx
How To
Hate Less,
Date Better,
and
Love Always
By Tricia Maxx
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2012 Tricia Maxx
**********************
Smashwords Edition, License Notes This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system without permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author assumes no responsibility for your actions.
Copyright © 2012 Tricia Maxx
All rights reserved.
Introduction
To be loved is the ultimate validation humans seek. Unlike all things tangible, love cannot be bought and is sometimes never found. During our quest for love we often want to know why they
behave in such a way, which prevents them from loving us when we should be trying to solve our own mystery, why are we attracting them? A relationship blog and a 30 minute spot on television made me the Cheater Expert,
but it also put me in touch with many who were on the never ending quest to find their soul mate
because each believed it held the key to their happiness. I also, believed I may solve my problems of being discontent if I met someone, fell in love, got married, and had kids. But as we write off our failed relationships as the fault of the other person not playing with a full deck of cards, we must also take comfort in knowing life doesn’t always deal us the winning hand. I am going to reveal a part of my life that might make your head spin. If you can keep up, you may have a better understanding of how this book came to be and why I want to share it with you.
My mother abandoned me before my first birthday, returning to Thailand and leaving me behind in Morristown, Tennessee with the only parent I ever came to know, a Southern Caucasian man. I would not discover, until over thirty years later, the man I knew, as Dad was not my biological father after all. I was abused by his family in many ways, including sexually and was called little nigger,
which was confusing because I was raised to believe I was half white. At the center of my abuse was my grandmother, who when I was an infant, suggested to my father that he leave me on the side of the road for someone else to pick up and take care of. Full of anger and feeling hopeless I tried to commit suicide when I was 15.
Around the age of thirty-two I moved to Los Angeles and before I could get settled my dad called to say that my mother had been living in Texas for the past thirty years. She made her way back to the states and married four other men, two of which she had children with. When her eldest son tracked her down seventeen years after she abandoned him, his father broke the silence about her first husband, and me. I was put in contact with my mother and although all I wanted was to know why she never came back to see me being only a five hour plane ride away; what I got was an indistinct story from an alcoholic. She made sure I understood the man who took care of me was not my biological father, but still to this day refuses to disclose whom he is. My life had been one lie after another. To top it off, almost exactly a year after this whirlwind of news, the man who raised me passed away.
For years I would let my past dictate my identity and what kind of soul mate
I deserved, but that has changed. Accepting I was the common denominator in all of my failed relationships, I took a look at myself and stopped pointing the finger at everyone else. Once I did, I cleared the path to find inner peace, and happiness.
I am not a PHD, or a self-proclaimed relationship expert with a repetitive generic formula to find love. I am a real and imperfect person who encountered obstacles in life many can relate to; living and walking the talk, I am now able to find love on my own terms.
The road to love and happiness begins with letting go. Let go and attract what you deserve.
*****
Chapter 1, Identify
My true identity
Before I could take the first step to get my life together I had to come to terms with whom I was. The things that happened to me as a child were easier to accept because I had no control over them, but the things I did as an adult, the promiscuity and the vile behavior were hard to swallow because I could have said no, but I chose not to.
How did I get here?
I was conceived somewhere in Thailand, born on an Air Force base in North Carolina.