Where's the Line? A Parent's Guide to Teen Transitions without Trauma

By Lisa Mangoni

Inside you will find some practical ideas about how to guide your teen through the new and unfamiliar areas they are about to traverse. Presented here are new ways to think about topics like school, electronics, sexuality, and even the teen brain –which is changing while you read this.

This book in no way attempts to tell you how you should live your life or parent your teen. It is designed to assist you in identifying and evaluating your own personal parenting strategies based on your own family values. By becoming conscious of what you stand for and what you would like your child to take into the world, you are able to be a parent who is present and thoughtful in what you present to your child as you show them where the line is.

Occasionally, some people look back on this time and have misgivings about how they could have made this transition a happier and healthier time for themselves and their child – with fewer lows and more highs. These people wonder if there is something that they could have done to assist their child in a more resourceful manner. There are ideas that can be put into place, and it is not too late. It is possible to begin to gently make this shift gently, and this more proactive strategy can start today. The fact is, you are the resource, and this book will help you get in touch with that resourcefulness.
While reading this book you will be presented with a number of ideas and thoughts about the modern adolescent experience that you might never have considered. When you use the processes in this book you will find yourself a more active participant in your child’s life, and this will bring you closer to knowing what is going on for them. These processes will also help you become more present and aware in your own life as you actively consider ideas that will reveal how you view your place in your own life – as well as that of being the parent. By simply considering these ideas, you will begin to think about things in a way that will help you re-frame, or find a new perspective for whatever is going on!

Don’t be afraid or intimidated by what is on the horizon of this transition! The fact is, that for a short time longer, you the parent, are the most important influence in your child’s life. After reading this book and being thoughtful about the ideas within, you will know that you have been completely clear with your teen and that you are able to shift the line when needed. After all, as each child grows up, the line has to be adjusted. Without having some knowledge of how to do this already, your child would still be sleeping in a crib!

Indeed by reading this book and considering the ideas and perspectives presented, as well as completing the exercises, you will be parenting with expanded consciousness, building a powerful, trusting, and loving relationship that will last a lifetime. And you will be doing this job in an ultimately more effective manner!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lisa Mangoni
• Release date: Feb 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301416004

Lisa Mangoni

I am a 20+ year veteran educator in the public middle school setting. A year ago, I decided to offer some tips and strategies to parents whom may be anxious to receive some support in helping their child make the transition from elementary to the middle and high school. I have studied meditation, hypnosis and NLP for the past 8 years and use calming strategies and reframing to make each day successful for myself. I am also the parent of two adult children of whom I am so proud.

Book preview

Where's the Line?

A Parent's Guide to Teen Transitions without Trauma

Lisa Mangoni

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Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012

License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgement

About the Author

Introduction

Chapter 1 Awareness

Chapter 2 Schedule

Chapter 3 School Preparation

Chapter 4 Sleep

Chapter 5 Electronics

Chapter 6 Friends

Chapter 7 Teachers and School

Chapter 8 Trouble

Chapter 9 Brain

Chapter 10 Sexuality

Conclusion

Acknowledgement:

First and foremost I want to thank my own two children who both inspire me daily beyond my wildest expectations.

I also wish to thank and acknowledge every student with whom I have ever crossed paths for the past 21 years of my school career with special emphasis on the children who have been in my classes. You have all taught me invaluable lessons and I thank you for that.

Of great import also, I want to thank my editor Art Emrich whom without I would not have moved these words off of my computer and onto the pages of this book. His positive attitude and tirelessness paved my way to put these ideas on paper. I also wish to thank my friend Richard Kelly who gave me encouragement and by using the processes and information with his own children, the momentum to keep going even during times of hesitation. I also want to thank my beta-readers Hannah and Bob who have been able to point out any issues of coherence or clarity.

Also, thank you to you, the reader. Please email me with any questions or comments about any of the content presented in this book or on my website. Just put Where's the Line in the subject line.

The e-book version of this product should be considered a living document and I reserve the right to edit, update and improve upon it at any time.

Finally, I have made every attempt to be accurate and current in research and information. Many of these processes are NLP strategies and are based on the influences of Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

I also understand that the personal responsibility of what you do with the information presented here lies entirely on you, the reader. I cannot be responsible for the choices of any reader at any time. I can only be responsible for myself. Each of us is responsible for our own choices and that is exactly what this book is written to convey.

About the Author

Lisa Mangoni is a veteran educator in Sarasota, Florida. She has been a certified personal growth coach since 2007. She writes about, and teaches meditation, self-hypnosis and mindfulness strategies one-on-one and to groups. She continues to be motivated and energized daily by teenagers and young adults.

Introduction: Transition

Listen to parents who are stressed out or trying to make important decisions about their children and you almost always hear, "They didn't come with a manual!" Well, even if they did, that would be one guide that would be outdated a thousand times over.

Everything from the environment, to society, to even brain chemistry is changing each day for our children so there could never be one way to raise all kids. That's why if we become aware of a few parenting principles for ourselves we can manage those stressful times of challenge and conflict with our children which can shift child to child and even day to day.

This guide is not intended to be a judgment on your current style of parenting, or a way to tell you how to live your life. I have written this book because, as the mother of two young adults, and after spending 18 years in the classroom with teens in their middle school years, I am convinced that this is the most important time of life for your child. I would like to offer you some valuable insight as the parents who are now on the front line.

Each of our children will make transitions throughout their lives, and there is nothing we parents can do to stop it, or control the outcome. Therefore, the most logical choice we have is to do the best job we can to prepare them in a way that leaves the fewest scars - for them and for us!

While reading this book you will be presented with a number of ideas and thoughts about the modern adolescent experience that you probably never before considered. When you use the processes in this book you will find yourself a more active participant in your child's life and this will bring you closer to knowing what is going on inside of him or her. These processes will also help you become more present and aware in your own life as you actively consider ideas that will reveal how you view your place in your own life - as well as that of being the parent. By simply considering these ideas, you will begin to think about things in a different way.

Many parents are concerned about what is about to happen to their elementary school children as they make their way to middle school and beyond. They often want to hold on to that last bit of their perception of control, and this can create great conflict that can certainly lead to family stress and dysfunction. Kids truly do need parental support at this time, and it is our job as parents to give it to them. The line is hard to define now - and it tends to shift - as there is a limit to what parents can do as their children begin to step out and make more of their own decisions.

Without a doubt, the structure of the American family has and continues to change. The most recent (2010) census information indicates that the two parent family with the father as the breadwinner has shrunk to approximately one-half of what it was in 1950. This makes it very difficult to do what a stunning new report by the Council of Economic Advisers offers to be essential to the well-being of the modern American teenager, and that is to eat dinner together at least 5 times a week. The statistics are startling as to the behavioral fluctuation between those teens who do eat dinner with their primary adult caretaker and those who do not. High risk behavior in every category is escalated by the teen that eats without an authority figure present, and is very likely alone.

Correlation of Teens who feel Close to Parents and Who Eat Dinner with Their Parents

Dinnertime is not the only time that your influence is crucial to their growth and development at this stage though. The truth is that the more present and aware you are as a parent, the more of a positive influence you can have on your child. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling experience for you and create a positive bonding atmosphere for both you and your child - an experience that will actually model for your own child how to handle the teenage transitions as a parent.

Remember: everything we do as parents is modeling. This is a scary thought sometimes, but in remembering this, we do tend to positively adapt our behavior when our children are around.

Some of the insights in this book will resonate with you immediately, and some may not be on your mind for a while. It will depend on where you are in your parenting stage and where your child is in his or her development. Read on, and you will find a number of ideas to help you create a loving and purposeful relationship with your adolescent that will set you both up for a lifetime of closeness. The first and most important objective here is to help you to get in touch with your own parenting style and goals. This is where awareness begins and a whole new, wonderful world emerges.

The activities in this chapter are short and