Teachers-Students Jokes
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About this ebook
Laughter is as essential for us as breathing is. The life becomes a big boredom without humour. Whatever be the merits of today’s busy and hectic life, it certainly has taken away laughter from our lives. Mental breakdowns we see around are proofs of it.
This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter.
Mahesh Dutt Sharma
Mahesh Sharma, a prestigious author and journalist, has written more than 1550 Hindi and English books. His book, "Mahatma Gandhi," won the M.P. Govt. Gandhi Darshan National Award in 2010. He also won Purvottar Hindi Academy, Meghalaya, Shilong Award twice, Natraj Author Award etc.. He is a freelance writer and writing is his passion.
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Book preview
Teachers-Students Jokes - Mahesh Dutt Sharma
Teachers-Students Jokes
By Mahesh Sharma
Published by Mahesh Dutt Sharma
Smashwords Edition
© mds e-books 2013
Smashwords License Statement
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Preface
Laughter is as essential for us as breathing is. The life becomes a big boredom without humour. Whatever be the merits of today’s busy and hectic life, it certainly has taken away laughter from our lives. Mental breakdowns we see around are proofs of it.
This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter. We earnestly believe that our collections of hilarious jokes will displace your worries and gloom with lots of Ha-Ha’s.
-Publisher
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 1
Student (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Student: This is my father speaking!
*********
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sarla: HIJKLMNO
!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sarla: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
*********
Teacher: What can we do to stop polluting our waters?
Student: Stop taking baths?
*********
Teacher: Can’t you retain anything in your head overnight?
Student: Of course, I’ve had this cold in my head for two days!
*********
Mother: Does your teacher like you?
Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper!
*********
Teacher: Gori, go to the map and find North America.
Gori: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Gori!
*********
Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?
Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.
*********
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What do a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, School Ahead. Go Slow!
*********
Teacher: Tom, why do you always get so dirty?
Tom: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*********
Student: Why do we study maths?
Teacher: Mathematics saves lives.
Student: How is that?
Teacher: It keeps stupid people like you from getting to medical school.
*********
In a grammar lesson in eighth class madam Mishra said, "Rakesh, give me a sentence with a direct object.
Rakesh replied, "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher In the school.
Thank you, Rakesh, responded madam Mishra,
but what is the object?
"To get the best mark possible, said Rakesh.
*********
Teacher: Ram, what happens when a hen Is put into a bowl of warm water?
Ram: It lays boiled eggs.
*********
Question: How many seconds are there in a year?
Answer: Twelve, January second, February second, March second...
*********
Teacher: What is seven Q plus three Q?
Student: TenQ.
Teacher: You’re Welcome.
*********
Teacher: Didn’t you hear me call you?
Student: But you said not to answer you back!
*********
Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions?
Student: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here!
*********
Teacher: What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age?
Student: The sausage!
*********
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow?
Student: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
*********
Teacher: Your spelling is much better Ram. Only five mistakes that time.
Student: Thank you Miss.
Teacher: Now let’s go on to the next word.
Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi?
Student: The River or the state Miss?
*********
Teacher: If can’t
is short for cannot,
what is don’t
short for?
Student: Doughnut.
*********
Teacher: Are you good in math?
Student: Yes and no.
Teacher: What does that mean?
Student: Yes, I’m no good in math.
*********
Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Student: I get up early.
*********
Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
*********
Teacher: Changu, you copied from Banta’s test didn’t you?
Student: How did you find out?
Teacher: Banta’s test answer says, I don’t know,
and yours says, Me neither.
*********
Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday?
Student: Seven.
Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday?
Student: Nine.
Teacher: That’s impossible.
Student: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today.
*********
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, Bark!
and the cat runs away.
See?
says the mother mouse to her baby, how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?
*********
One Student: I failed every subject except for algebra.
Other: How did you keep from failing that?
Student:I didn’t take algebra!
*********
Teacher: Rohan, name one important thing we