Farty Party

By Jennie Mathis Nelson

Carter Pinwheel just can’t catch a break. Whether it’s the cat pee on his shirt, Kenny the bully, or the evil chicken in his bedroom, Carter’s world is one big hilarious adventure filled with diaper display destruction and a very unfortunate prune incident.

Fun to read chapters and action packed illustrations are perfect for any kid that’s as misunderstood as Carter

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jennie Mathis Nelson
• Release date: Jun 6, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301775231

Jennie Mathis Nelson

Jennie Mathis Nelson is an author, artist, and illustrator from New York. Her family and wiener dogs give her plenty to laugh about, and she sees humor in just about everything!Even adults can tap into that kid on the inside! Jennie taps into hers by writing, collecting her favorite 80's toys, painting or being creative every day, and absolutely anything involving Disney World, which is exactly where she'd live there if she could. She loves green tea and sushi, and puts ketchup on everything - except sushi!She shares a birthday (September 24th) with F. Scott Fitzgerald and Jim Henson, the Muppet creator. Muppet Vision 3D happens to be one of Jennie's favorite Disney World attractions, and this is no coincidence!

Book preview

Farty Party

Smashwords Edition

Text copyright © 2013 by Jennie Mathis Nelson

Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Jennie Mathis Nelson

Editor: Molly Richardson

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical or factual events, real people, characters, places, and incidents are all products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any means. Electronic or mechanical or by storage and retrieval systems without written permission of the author.

For Jeffrey, Roger, Bailee and Jett.

Chapter 1

Carter the Farter, they chanted, and I knew exactly what they were talking about.

Whew man, Kenny fanned his face. You’d better watch what you eat.

Last night, I thought, I should have put my laundry away. It was Bonkers, but I knew no one would believe me. My mom warned me, but I didn’t listen. I could smell it, but I pretended not to. I could feel it, too. My shirt sleeve was damp from the elbow up to the shoulder.

Carter, put this laundry away, I need the basket back, I recalled her telling me. Bonkers is up the hall.

I stared out the bus window as their Carter the Farter chants grew distant in my mind. Bonkers is my cat. He’s a really great cat. He lies around, catches flies, and does other amazing cat-like things. But he has this bad habit of peeing in laundry baskets. I know it’s weird, and he only pees in laundry baskets when there are clothes in them. Never empty ones, and he doesn’t care if it’s dirty laundry or not. He’ll ruin clean laundry just the same.

Couldn’t you hold it? You stink man, Kenny laughed as he pinched his nose.

I didn’t fart, I tried to defend myself.

Since I really didn’t fart, I felt embarrassed. I mean, if I really had ripped a big one, that would be fine, but I didn’t. I got a sudden hot flash, and I could feel my face burning as I wondered what name they would give me if they knew it was cat pee instead. A fart would have been better – it could blow away.

Don’t get behind Carter the Farter, he’ll blow you away, Kenny said as the bus stopped and he scrambled off.

It was already shaping up to be an amazing day. If I could just make it to lunch, I’d be okay. It was bacon cheeseburger day, science class afterwards, and recess. So, once I got to lunch, it would be easy sailing from there. Science was great. Mr. Bert was fun, and he wasn’t as strict as some of the other teachers. He always wore jeans, and I liked that.

Hey Carter, my best friend Gil walked up as he got off his bus. Cheeseburger day, he smiled. And English test today too. My mom made me study all Saturday afternoon.

Oh boy, my face felt hot again. I forgot about the test!

You’re better at English anyway, you’ll do good. We’re almost out of this baby school anyway, he waved his hand toward the front door of the school as we walked up the sidewalk. Then, we’ll be in junior high. With Moon, he smiled.

Gross, I shook my head.

Moon is my older sister. She’s only a year older than me, and she’s a real monster to live with. I think it’s been a pretty great school year without her. Since she moved up to the junior high building for seventh grade, I’ve had some peace and quiet. Gil’s had a crush on her since we were little.

So your mom said we can have a sleepover when Moon is having her slumber party? Gil asked.

It’s more of a camp-out, and she said we can’t bother Moon and her friends, or it’s over. I don’t want to hang out with them anyway. We get to sleep in the camper, and my mom’s getting us some snacks and pop.

Eww, watch out for Carter the Farter. His stench will blow you away, Kenny and Dylan yelled to Gil as we put our backpacks in our lockers.

He’s just a jerk, I shook my head and searched the top of my locker for an old shirt or something.

Hey, Gil handed me a big bag of candy. They were individually wrapped candies, and some of them had orange wrappers that matched the color of Gil’s hair. Um, my dad said they gave him really bad gas. Nobody will eat them. I figured you wouldn’t mind.

Gil! Come on! I didn’t fart, I shook