The Weakness in Me

By Josie Leigh

Ever have your future interrupted by forces beyond your control? Ever wanted a second chance to get everything you ever needed?

Samantha Castle and Jason Wright met when they were five years old. As they grew up in their tiny Washington town, their friendship eventually turned into a love that was supposed to last forever. Just as they were ready to start their lives together, betrayal ripped them apart.

Five years later, Jason comes face to face with his Sammy when he's called to the scene of a horrific accident. Seeing her bruised and battered awakens a part of him that had been missing. Although Sammy had clearly moved on in that time, he has not and would do anything to be in her life again.

Meanwhile, Samantha is left to battle back from the accident that took away her husband and almost took her life. Because of the extent of her injuries and having a daughter to take care of, Samantha decides to let Jason back into her life. As she recovers, the two find that they are able to recapture the magic of their friendship, but Jason wants more.

When they begin to find their way back to each other, the forces that worked to destroy them before want nothing more than to make history repeat itself. Can Samantha find a way beyond their past to get back the future that was taken from them?

The Weakness in Me is about learning to trust and love again after you have every reason to walk away. Told from multiple perspectives, it is a love story unlike any other, because it shows that life goes on after betrayal and death. People don't always wait around for those that left them behind.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Josie Leigh
• Release date: Jun 21, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301030507

Josie Leigh

Josie Leigh is an independent author who focuses on writing Romance because she loves a story with a happy ending. Writing has been an escape for her since a very young age, and she cherishes the time she gets to spend with her characters. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in Nutrition in 2008, she pursued a challenging career in the field of nutrition insecurity and anti-hunger advocacy. She is grateful to be able to feed hungry families on a daily basis and chase her literary dreams in her off time.

Book preview

It’s been two years since you walked away from Jason, and you’ve only dated like two guys since then, Jessica said, matter-of-fact. Aren’t your girl parts aching for action? she whined.

Samantha did a double take at her baby sister’s words. What do you know about aching girl parts? You’re still a zygote!

I’m almost 19! her sister screeched. And don’t act all appalled and horrified, she continued, flipping her chocolate brown hair over her shoulder. "We all know you and Jason were going at it like rabbits when you were my age. Jessica’s green eyes glowed with knowledge. Two things all of the Castle girls had in common: thick chocolate brown hair courtesy of their father and beautiful emerald green eyes from their mother. They could easily pass for triplets, as all of the girls were barely over 5’3 and very petite.

Samantha sighed at her sister’s proclamation and rolled her eyes, not because it wasn’t true- it totally was- but Jessica was a baby! She didn’t need Jessica in her relationship business like their other sister, Sara, was. So, because I’ve only had two boyfriends since Jason, you think my body is begging for attention, and I need to go out with you to get it? Samantha summarized, not wanting to reveal that two boyfriends didn’t mean she’d only been with two guys since she and Jason split. You do realize you aren’t old enough to drink, yes?

I can, too! she countered, excitedly holding up an ID.

"You know this is my old ID, right? It might work when you go out with your friends or Sara, but the bouncer isn’t stupid, he isn’t going to buy two Samantha Castle’s going to the club together."

I know that! But they see so many people in a night, I can go in first, and you can come in twenty or thirty minutes later! Jessica gushed. "Scratch that, you go in, then I’ll follow, otherwise, you won’t show," she changed her mind.

Samantha scrunched her nose at her sister and rolled her eyes, even though Jessica was completely right to scrap her original plan. Fine. But I’m not letting you drink. She stormed to her room with the possibility of a small victory over Jessica as she found something acceptable to wear.

**

The pulse of the music rocketed through Samantha as she sat at the end of the crowded bar. She wanted nothing more than to go back to her apartment and curl up with a good book, because she was sick of having to fend off the cheesy guys that were trying to hit on her or get closer to her sister.

Jessica’s silver halter was so blinding under the flashing lights that she couldn’t look directly at her. Yet, it was the reason they were attracting so much attention. Samantha could be grateful for the fact that they hadn’t had to buy a drink all night. She was much more subdued, though, in her basic little black dress, even if it fit like a second skin and revealed more of her cleavage than it concealed.

Pardon me, a smooth voice said from beside her, But I believe you have my rib, he finished making her smile at the originality of and obvious cheesiness implied by the pickup line.

Wow! I haven’t heard that one before. But, I’m not convinced that I have anything that belongs to you, she said. Looking to her right and up, she moved her gaze over his soft, short brown hair to his green flecked hazel eyes to his beautiful smile. He was easily an entire foot taller than she was. Why did a guy this attractive have to resort to such an obvious line? He was so far out of her league, with his custom-tailored suit and $500 haircut, that she knew nothing would come of their flirting. Her mind spun with the thoughts all of the trouble they could get into together. Well, until he figured out that he was too good for her.

I’ll have to think of something else then, his eyes sparkled as he looking into hers, I’m Caleb, Caleb McKenzie, he said, offering her his hand.

Samantha… she hesitated to give him her last name, …Castle, she finished, putting her hand in his.

I’m happy to meet you, Samantha, he said. Samantha? he said again, as if her name didn’t fit in his mouth. You don’t seem like a Samantha, he shook his head.

No? she crinkled her brow in amusement, wondering if this was going to be another line, but wanting to see if he was really as smooth as he thought he was.

What’s your middle name? he asked, taking the stool beside her and leaning in to her.

Um, Rose? she offered, confused at the direction of the conversation. It was going differently than she’d grown used to over the years.

Yes! his face lit up, as if he’d just won the lottery. Rosie!

Rosie?

Yes, you are definitely a Rosie, he laughed, patting her hand resting on the bar. Samantha tried to ignore the sparks racing through her body at the small touch.

Okay, she agreed with a smile. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it and shook her head before, finally, saying, I’m surprised.

Surprised? he asked, his eyebrows raised.

Most men focus on my last name, she shrugged, telling him that she knew he was different.

Castle? Why?

"Really?" she chuckled in disbelief before offering the explanation of the pickup lines she usually had to suffer through. "I’d like to storm your Castle? Is the fire burning in your Castle? My dragon wants to live in your Castle? Is the carpet thick in your Castle? ...I’d like to swim your moat?" she imitated a chorus of tacky guys she’d sorted through over the last two years.

"I’d like to swim your moat?! How is that even remotely a sexy come on? It’s muddy, predator filled water!" he howled with laughter at her confession, endearing her even more.

I have absolutely no idea, but he was quite serious about it. There was a whole scenario he had worked out before I told him no, she turned to face him fully.

He must’ve been devastated, Caleb said after calming his laughter, wiping a tear from the side of one of his captivatingly beautiful eyes. So when we get married, you’ll take my name. he said, completely serious, taking Samantha off-guard.

Chapter 1

Sirens pierced the once quiet corner, as every response service in King County flooded the scene. The ambulance raced as close to the lone vehicle as it could, before two men burst from its doors, life saving equipment in hand.

Jason Wright opened up the passenger side door of what had been a silver Honda Accord and his breathing nearly halted. ‘Oh my God! It’s my Sammy!’ He thought as he looked for the catch on the seat belt. She had a deep gash on her head, her chocolate brown hair smattered with blood, her skin looked pale against the black leather seat, and her legs seemed to be pinned under the dash, but she was breathing, barely. Even though she looked incredibly small and broken in the seat, the tiny rise and fall of her chest told him she was still alive. Thank God! the words escaped before he had a chance to stop them. Taking a cleansing breath, he started to assess her injuries and take her vitals.

Shit! he heard his partner, Toby, curse from the drivers’ side. He’s gone. DOA. His head slumped down and he shook it in disbelief. There’s a baby seat back here, Jas. Can you make sure it’s empty?

Sure, he said, noticing the white gold ring and diamond solitaire on Sammy’s left hand, which was entwined with the drivers’ before moving toward the back seat. It’s clear. What about the other car?

Took off, I think they were probably drunk. The cops over there said the witnesses saw him come out of nowhere and run the light. Hit the drivers’ side nearly head on. Didn’t have a chance, one of the first responders from the fire department offered. Jason had been so focused on the safety of Sammy and a possible baby, that he hadn’t heard the third party join them.

Wow, that’s-, Jason felt anger stir deep within him that someone who had been drinking had done this to Sammy. He knew how much she’d already lost to alcohol, and he couldn’t believe how much more it had just taken from her. We need to get her out of here, she’s still alive, but her legs are smashed under the dashboard, he continued as calmly as he could. Her pulse and respirations are weak and her blood pressure is unstable, so the sooner the better.

Get the C-collar so we can put it on her. Jason, stabilize her neck. Don’t want to add to the problem, Toby ordered, making his way to the passenger side of the car, as the other man raced back to grab the restraining device. When he returned with the collar and a stretcher, they carefully removed Sammy from the passenger side of the car and loaded her into the ambulance.

Jason took one last look at who he’d assumed was her husband and his heart broke for her, wondering if she’d awake in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and he’d have to be the one to tell her. He couldn’t look into those emerald green eyes and tell her, not after being absent from her life for over five years, but how he longed to see those eyes again. They would look right through him like they always had, deep into his own cerulean blue eyes and see that nothing had changed for him in those five years they’d been apart. Though, it seemed, everything had changed for her. As they drove toward the hospital, he had visions of a five year old Sammy and how strong she’d been. He could only hold on to the hope that she’d grown even stronger with age.

**

Jason watched a moving van pull up to Jacob’s house and stop in the driveway. Folding his arms, defiantly, across his chest, he watched the new family pile out of the station wagon that pulled up beside the van.

The man he assumed was the father of the family was tall, wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants. He opened the door to the backseat and pulled out a baby in a frilly pink dress, while the mother and two other girls, one that looked to be his age and the other one a little younger, jumped out of the other side.

Jason growled. ‘GIRLS?! My best friend moves out and is replaced by three girls?’ He was starting to think that even though he was only five, the world hated him. What was he supposed to do with girl neighbors?

Jason watched as the girls’ mother leaned down to talk to the oldest and looked his way. The girl folded her arms across her chest and turned her head toward him, her eyes narrowing. Her brown hair was pulled back into a stringy ponytail and she was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, along with sneakers that were nearly falling off. It was definitely a departure from the rest of her family in more formal clothing.

"FINE! he heard her yell before stalking off in his direction. The anger she was exuding would’ve scared him, if he didn’t know he could take her. Hi," she snarled when she finally made her way to him.

"Hi," he said, matching her defiant tone.

"My mom said I have to introduce myself to you, but I don’t want to, because you aren’t Kevin and I don’t like you, she huffed. This place is smelly and so are you!"

"Well, you aren’t Jacob, so I don’t like you either, Jason stood taller in challenge, folding his arms over his chest. And I think the smell pulled up with you!"

"Fine then, she moved to return to her family, when she spotted a red ball behind him. Is that a soccer ball?" she asked, trying to sound uninterested.

"No, he scoffed. That’s my kickball."

"I love kickball," her green eyes started to betray her excitement.

"You’re a girl! Girls don’t play kick ball!" Jason yelled in her face.

"This girl does! she yelled back, stomping on his foot and turning to run back to her parents. Halfway back, she turned to face him again, this time smiling when she saw him sitting on the ground in pain. I’m Sammy, by the way. If you ever want to play, let me know," she shot him a bigger smile and started back toward her new house.

"I’m Jason," he called after her, nursing his sore foot, knowing that Jacob might have left, but he wouldn’t be deprived of a friend. Even if it was a girl. Now, if only he could remember how to give himself a cootie shot

.

**

Caleb! Samantha McKenzie screamed, her voice gravelly and harsh from non use. Trying to jolt forward from her bed, she found she couldn’t. The pain seeped into every single pore of her body and her head was pounding. Even her eyelids hurt, refusing to open at first.

Shh…, she heard a voice say through the fog in her head, Don’t try to move, honey. You are in the hospital. You were in an accident. Do you remember?

Where’s Corigan? her voice still raspy. Where’s Caleb? she felt her eyes finally start to open, this time against their will. She squinted at the bright fluorescent lights blinking and flickering above her. The smell of antiseptics swirled around her, crystallizing the knowledge that she was, in fact, in the hospital.

Corigan’s fine, honey. Sara and Jessica are taking turns watching her, Samantha had determined the disembodied voice was coming from her mother.

And Caleb? Please, please tell me that he’s okay, mom! her voice becoming more panicked that her mother hadn’t already told her that her husband was okay.

Oh honey, her mom’s voice broke and realization slammed through her like a freight train.

NO! she screamed, trying again to jolt forward with no success. Uncontrolled tears started to pour from her barely opened green eyes at the understanding that her husband was dead.

I’m so sorry, she felt her mother take her hand, and heard the tears in her voice, even though she couldn’t turn her head to see the pained expression she knew was on her face.

What am I going to do without him? I can’t imagine going on, Samantha squeaked out through gut-wrenching sobs.

You have to; you can’t leave Corigan without both of her parents. It’s bad enough she’s going to be missing one, her mom lectured, trying to sound encouraging, but Samantha was deep in thought and wallowing in her loss. Never again would she hear his deep throaty laugh, or feel his arms around her waist as she drifted off to sleep or his lips grazing her bare shoulder when she was getting ready for work. She’d never get to walk into their living room to find Corigan and Caleb snuggled under a blanket together. She’d miss everything about him, from the way he was always generous and kind to her and Corigan to the way he always made her feel like she was the only woman in any room. Not like Jason.

‘Where did that come from?’ she wondered, as a faint, muddled memory began to take shape in her head.

"It’s going to be okay, Sammy! You need to hold on," she heard Jason’s voice say in her head, but why? She hadn’t talked to Jason in five years. Why would she think of him now? The pain took over again and, in response, her body shut down. Everything went black.

**

Beep. Beep. The sounds of her heart monitor filled Samantha’s room.

How is she? a distant, but male voice asked. Though it sounded familiar, Samantha couldn’t respond from her unconscious state. Conversations had been drifting in and out of her ears, but she was merely a blind and mute spectator to all that was going on around her. Had it been hours? Days? Weeks? Since she’d last been awake? Did she even want to wake up again?

She’s been in and out. She knows about Caleb now, so she’s been out for longer this time. I don’t know if she’s going to be okay… she…loves…him. So much, a muddled female voice said through the fog. I’m sorry; I hope that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable.

No, not uncomfortable, just sad. Sad that I’ve missed so much of her life because I was so stupid.

Jason, you guys were only twenty-one. Cut yourself some slack. People do all kinds of dumb things in their youth. Sam did, too, you know that.

I get that, but her stupid stuff…well, it never looked like mine. Never hurt me like I hurt her.

I’m glad that you are here for her. She probably won’t be happy about it, but you guys have been friends since you were five. I hope you can learn to be there for each other again. She really needs someone like you right now.

**

Sammy, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you, Samantha could feel a slight pressure on her hand at the words from the male voice she heard earlier, this time it sounded like he was sobbing. I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder to be in your life after…but now, there is nothing you can do to stop me from being there for you and your baby. I wish I could give him back to you, honey. Your mom said he was incredible, told me how his face lit up when you walked in a room…you deserved that.

"Jason? What the hell are you doing here?"

Hey, Sara. Sorry, I’ll get out of your way. Your mom said she’s been out two days solid since she found out about Caleb.

"I know that. You need to get whatever this is out of your system before she wakes up. She can’t handle seeing you right now."

Look, Sara, I don’t want to fight with you right now. I know she’s going to need a friend when she comes out of this, and I’d like it to be me… How’s Corigan? Do you guys need any help? I’m happy to, if you need me…

"Corigan is fine, missing her parents, but fine. We’re taking care of her fine, too- besides, she’s only eleven months old, she’s definitely not yours…why do you really want to help?"

I want to make it up to Sammy, anyway I can.

Make what up to Sam? That her husband is gone or the fact that you are a lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch?

From your perspective, I deserve that, but come on; you don’t even know the whole story.

"I know what I saw, Jason-"

No, you don’t, Sara.

Oh? Then why don’t you enlighten me?

I’d love to, want to grab a cup of coffee and go back in time with me five years?

If I’m going to relive that night with you, I’d like something stronger.

It’s ten in the morning, Sara.

Never stopped you before…

I’ve not drunk like that in almost five years, I promise.

Fine, I’m willing to listen to what you have to say. And I need a clear head to know if you are lying, so I guess coffee’ll have to do.

**

Rosie, honey. Samantha felt a whisper of a touch against her cheek. Her pain was gone as she opened her eyes into a familiar pair of hazel-green ones.

Rosie, honey, the voice lit up her insides and she felt whole again, you need to wake up. Corigan, she can’t do this without you. She needs her mother.

I can’t, she needs her father, too, Samantha answered, her voice coming out strangled with her conflicting emotions. How can I live without you? How can I make this up to her?

I want you to find a way to live again. You deserve to be loved for the rest of your life the way I love you. You deserve to have someone show you their love every single day you have left.

I can’t, she whispered, tears starting to fall. I don’t know how I can fall in love with someone who isn’t you. I can’t leave you behind, I promised.

Don’t hold on to promises you are no longer meant to keep, Samantha felt the whisper of touch at her cheek again and tried to lean into it. Corigan deserves a father, Rosie, not a ghost. Remember that, it’ll happen, when you’re ready. The hazel-green eyes, looking softly into hers began to fade away.

NO! she screamed and tried to hold him there, but he was gone. Thrashing at the air, Samantha tried to scream for him to return, but no sound came out. All she felt was the pain radiating from every cell in her body, except her heart, that was now numb.

She’s back! a voice echoed as she opened her eyes and surveyed the faces staring down at her, doctors, nurses, and one more.

Oh, Sammy! Thank GOD!

Don’t call me that, she said, flatly, as the doctors started to clear out of the room and her nurse adjusted her IV pole before leaving, too, pretending not to listen to her interaction with Jason.

I’m sorry, Jason said, letting go of the hand he’d been holding. Sorry, he said again, with a sad smile.

I prefer Samantha now, she explained, staring at the ceiling, still unable to move her head to see if anyone remained in her room but not wanting to look at Jason, I don’t think I can deal with you being here right now, she choked out, the pain medication starting to take effect again.

At the heart of everything, we’ve always been friends. I’d like to be there for you. His blue eyes softened as he looked down at her.

"I’ve got plenty of family, I don’t need friends like you," Samantha said.

Look, I don’t want to argue with you. I know you are hurting right now so I won’t upset you any further--

"What the FUCK do you know about what I’m feeling right now? Have you ever experienced anything like this? Samantha asked, venom spewing from her lips. She saw the shock register on Jason’s face at her words. Let me answer that, no, you haven’t. Have you ever loved anyone more

Reviews for The Weakness in Me

[chris.blogemporium · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I had the pleasure of receiving a copy of this book from Josie, in return for an honest review.


“Don’t hold on to promises you are no longer meant to keep- Caleb”

I liked the Prologue in this Book. It gave us a little bit about how Samantha Met Caleb.

In the first chapter Samantha is dealt with a Tragedy , when she and Caleb are in a car accident and He dies at the scene . The Paramedic who comes to the scene is Samantha's Ex Fiance/ Best friend . When Jason takes one look at Samantha in the car he Prays to god that she is ok.

When Samantha Wakes up in the hospital she finds out that Caleb has died in the accident. She is also faced with the fact that Jason who she has not seen in 5 yrs is in her hospital room , and she does not understand what he is doing there.

Samantha was a strong character in this book. Although she was devastated by her husbands Death she knew she needed to move on with her life and continue to heal from the accident because she had her daughter to raise.

“You know you’ve always been able to count on me…you should never doubt me again"

She excepts Jason help as a "friend" and agrees to try to re-build their friendship that they use to have.

Jason , I loved him, he was a true best friend, he did not push Samantha at all. He stepped right up to the plate and helped her with Corigan her daughter.

I like how this story did not just Jump right into Samantha and Jason being together after Caleb Died. I love how they built their friendship back up first.

“Samantha's head was screaming at her to stop, but her heart and her body were both giving her the finger.”

Jason's Mom and Missy OMG I wanted to smack them both so many times through out this book. I don't understand how ANY mother could do what she did to Jason, and I can't understand How Missy could do what she did to her Best friend. Although once it all came out , I understand it all a little better, BUT still who does something like that to someone.



Book Blurb:
Samantha and Jason have known each other since they were five. Their friendship turned to love that was supposed to last forever. However, betrayal ripped them apart just as they were getting ready to start their lives together.

Five years later, Jason comes face to face with his Sammy when he's called to the scene of a horrific accident. Seeing her bruised and battered awakens a love he knew he'd missed, but didn't know how much until he'd almost lost her.


Samantha is left to battle back from an accident that took away her husband and almost took her life. Facing her future as a single mother, Samantha allows Jason back into her life because she knows she needs help to create a new life without Caleb. As they begin to find their way back to each other, there are those waiting in the wings for the right moment to tear them apart again. Can Samantha find a way to trust Jason again after everything?

“I’m in love with you, Sammy. I know it’ll always be you. I have no doubt about that… but I’m willing to wait until you see it, too"

This is definitely a good read, It is a slow build of a friendship that was lost , and a Samantha coming to the realization that She does still love Jason. I like how we got to see Samantha go through the grieving stages and actually dealt with her husbands death before just moving on with Jason.

ARC provided by Josie for Review :)