The No Regrets Principle

By Shawn Brodof

Regret is an inevitable part of life. Developing strategies to avoid them in the future and learning to deal with those that you already have is an essential part of living a fulfilled life. In The No Regrets Principle, author Shawn Brodof offers both unique methods and commonsense approaches to both. Brodof relies heavily on Biblical lessons to convey his strategies.

In Part One of The No Regrets Principle, he walks the reader through foundational principles including: Deliberate Predecisions, developing your personal definition of success, peer pressure, and the Bleed-Over Effect.

In Part Two, he discusses how to avoid future regret by presenting the concepts of sowing and reaping, The Big Picture and The Gratitude Attitude.

Part Three walks the reader through common regrets including sex, money, greed, anger, relationships and your thought life.

Part Four is a in-depth discussion of the destructive nature of fear.

Finally, in Part Five, Brodof helps readers deal with regrets they may currently be carrying. Discussion includes The Cumulative Effect, confession, forgiveness, a servant's heart and the power of prayer.

While the book is targeted at young adults, the text is approachable and applicable to anyone, carrying no pressures or biases. Brodof conveys his advice and strategies by relying heavily on Biblical references.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shawn Brodof
• Release date: Jul 29, 2013
• ISBN: 9780982957851

Shawn Brodof

Shawn Brodof is a consummate entrepreneur, business coach, and consultant who started four businesses while accumulating over twenty years experience working for Fortune 500 financial institutions.He is the author of four books - The Termite Effect, The No Regrets Principle, Pritical Thinking, and The Proverbs Project.

Book preview

The No Regrets Principle

Shawn Brodof

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Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2013 by Shawn Brodof

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

PART ONE - The Foundation

Deliberate Predecisions

Defining Success

Where are Your Dreams?

The No Regrets Success Plan

The Path You Take

The Danger of Apathy

Not Gonna Do It!

Culture

Principles and Values

Integrity

Guardrails

The Destructive Power of Peer Pressure

* It Doesn’t Get Any Easier

* How to Deal with Peer Pressure

* Everyone Else is Doing it!

* Conventional Wisdom

* Sermon on the Mount

* Influence on Others

* When Faced with Criticism or Conflict

Foothold – Stronghold – Stranglehold

The Bleed-Over Effect

Maturity

PART TWO - Avoiding Regret

Sowing and Reaping

* Discipline

* Courage, Confidence, and Self-Esteem

* Live Your Strengths

* Procrastination and Missed Opportunities

Your Conscience

The Filter

Unintended Consequences

The Cost of Inaction

The Big Picture

Count to 10

The Ultimate Self-Help Book

Contract With Yourself

Gratitude Attitude

* The Pursuit of Contentment

What Are You Grateful For?

PART THREE - Regret Happens

Sex

* Pornography and Lust

Money

* Dave Ramsey Summary

* Life Insurance

* Keeping Up With the Joneses

* Give-Save-Live-on-the-Rest

* Needs Versus Wants

Emotional / Behavioral Decisions

* Greed

* A Master’s Heart

* Jealousy and Envy

* Anger

* Guilt

* Impatience

Relationships

* Relationship Due Diligence

Your Thought Life

* Stop Sign

* The Journal Challenge

Heeding Advice

* Consider the Source

Comparing Yourself to Others

Pride

PART FOUR - Fear and the No Regrets Principle

What are you afraid of?

Scar Tissue

Failure

Success

What Others Say

Public Speaking

Losing Control

* What’s the Worst Thing That Could Happen?

Rejection

Love

Leaving Your Comfort Zone

PART FIVE - The Fix

The Windshield and the Rearview Mirror

The Cumulative Effect

My Name is Earl

Journaling

Confession

Forgiveness

* Obstacles to Asking

* Extending Forgiveness

Restitution

Servant’s Heart

The Power of Pray

The Ultimate Regret

Final Thoughts

Appendix

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Dedicated to my loving wife, Kristen and my three babies - Emily, Rachel, and Jacob.

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Preface

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." – Mark Twain

Funny How Life Works

In 2007, I wrote an entry in my journal that read, I want to live my life with no regrets.

Two years later, I read the above quote and, from that moment forward, found myself thinking about the concept of regret and writing my thoughts down. The result is the book that you now hold in your hands.

Around the same time as that significant journal entry, I was introduced to Andy Stanley, Senior Pastor of Northpoint Community Church in Alpharetta, Georgia. Over the last six years, my wife (Kris) and I have listened to dozens of his sermon series. He is one of the most dynamic speakers I have ever heard. His mastery of the Bible is remarkable. For those of you who are familiar with his work, you will sense his heavy influence on what is written here. Many of his messages prompted me to dig deeper and go farther with my own thinking on this particular subject. I have digested so much of his material over the years that some of it is second nature. I will attempt to give him credit wherever possible.

Like millions of Americans, I was laid off from my job in 2009. Given my inherent interest in living a regret-free life, I decided to put it into practice by starting my own business, Clarity Coaching. This business was something I had wanted to do for many years. So the question became, Will I regret NOT pursuing the business? When Kris said, Why don’t you start that coaching practice that you have been talking about? I knew I needed to take the plunge.

Clarity Coaching is a business coaching practice where I coach and mentor business owners and entrepreneurs. I also conduct training in a variety of business related topics. In 2010, I published my first book, The Termite Effect – 25 Common Business Mistakes and Their Hidden Consequences.

Who I am and Who I am Not

I am not a pastor, a minister, a rabbi, or a priest. I have no formal theological training. I have never attended seminary or taken a class on the Bible or religion. I was raised Presbyterian by a former Southern Baptist mother and a Jewish father. While I attended Presbyterian Church, I was also exposed to Jewish traditions growing up making Christmastime very interesting. The Christian kids complained when they didn’t get to open gifts during the eight nights of Hanukkah and the Jewish kids complained on Christmas morning.

As an adult, I married a loving Catholic and we are raising our three children in the Catholic Church.

The reason I tell you this is so you know the perspective from which I am speaking. Throughout the book, I will discuss and quote quite a bit of scripture. Because of my lack of any theological training, there was a time when I felt unqualified to write this book. Thankfully, a good friend, John Edwards, said, You are as qualified to carry this message as any pastor I know. With his encouragement, I decided to push forward.

As any author will tell you, you must define your audience before you start writing. Because regret is an equal-opportunity affliction, hitting the young, the old, the rich, the poor, Christians and non-Christians, I first considered my audience all of the above. However, after the fifth or sixth time through the manuscript, I came to realize that I needed to write this book for and to my children. I have two daughters age 18 and 15 and a 12-year old son. I found myself thinking of them constantly while I wrote.

I certainly believe the content contained within will be as helpful to a senior citizen as it would be to someone from Generation X, but I decided my focus will be on young adults.

Four Goals in Writing This Book

Inspire you to make decisions differently, apply The No Regrets Principle, and look at life and your decisions through a different lens or filter with the goal of avoiding future regret.

Help you get over current regrets.

Demonstrate to you that you are not alone. We all live with regrets. It is a natural part of life. Relieve yourself from the pressure and anxiety that you may be feeling.

Share my Christian faith with you, through which living The No Regrets Principle becomes remarkably easy.

Finally, you will find out quickly that I am a quote collector. Some people collect baseball cards, stamps or coins; I collect quotes because of the motivational power they possess and their ability to help drive home my points. Please do not be shy about sending me some of your favorite quotes over the coming years. You may find them in a future book or on one of my future Facebook or Twitter posts.

I hope the message of this book resonates with you and I hope you decide to apply The No Regrets Principle in your life.

Best wishes,

Shawn Brodof

July, 2013

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Introduction

"If the past sits in judgment on the present, the future will be lost." – Winston Churchill

Flash Before Your Eyes

It was a typical Tuesday morning; Cindy left home at 7:35 am. She was running a few minutes late but should have had no problem arriving at work before 8:00. Her son, Jack, had been up several times during the night with a fever. Her husband, Tim, agreed to stay home with him. Despite being a little sleepy, it was business as usual. She dropped her daughter, Kimberly, off at school and headed to the office.

As she approached the intersection in front of her office complex, she waited patiently in the turn lane for oncoming traffic to clear. As she began to complete her turn she sensed movement to her left and . . . .

She had always heard the expression that your life flashes before your eyes before you die, but what she experienced in that fraction of a second was unexpected. What flashed before her eyes was every regret she had in life, many of which were long forgotten. The list was embarrassingly long and included:

An apology she never extended to her sister after a silly argument six years earlier.

Never taking the time to learn to play the guitar.

Holding a grudge against a college roommate.

Not saying I love you to her husband and Jack before she left the house.

Going back to work after Jack was born.

Never booking that trip to the Grand Canyon.

A teenage indiscretion with an old boyfriend.

I have no insight into end-of-life experiences, but I sure hope my last few moments on earth are filled with joyful and happy thoughts rather than the darker side of life – REGRETS.

Cats in the Cradle

As a child I remember hearing Harry Chapin’s song, Cats in the Cradle, on the radio. As an adult, when I took the time to listen and digest the lyrics, it had a profound effect.

This song tells the story of a father who was too busy to spend time with his young son. Life got in the way; he had planes to catch and bills to pay. The father missed out on his son growing up – he missed him learning to walk and he was too busy to play catch with him. All along the son is happy and just wants to be like his father when he grows up. As the song progresses, the son goes off to college but, when he