The Case of the Haunted Vampire

By Juli Monroe

It's tough being a warlock in Washington, DC. Magic doesn't pay the bills, and sometimes you have to take on other jobs.

I'm Dafydd Smith, and I'm a warlock. No, not the "sold my soul to the devil" type warlock. The "male witch" kind. (Everyone gets those confused, so don't feel bad.)

One day I'm minding my own business, heading out for a bite to eat after a hard day exorcising ghosts, when I run into a vampire. Yeah, you heard that right. A vampire. With his fangs in some guy's neck. It was kind of sexy and scary all at the same time.

What did I do? Well, read on, and I'll tell you how I got rid of a ghost haunting a vampire. If you're a fan of Jim Butcher's Dresden Files, you'll probably like this one. Especially if you're into sexy, gay, magical heroes. (Yeah, that's me. Stop laughing!)

Oh, and just so you don't get the wrong idea, this story is really a novella. That's why my author priced it so low. (Darn her! I'm worth more.) But there's more tales (full novels) coming, so stay tuned. Hanging out with a vampire can get pretty exciting. Tell my author to get cracking on our next installment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Juli Monroe
• Release date: Nov 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311152527

Juli Monroe

I've been writing fiction almost as long as I can remember, starting with fan fiction at 13 (before I even knew there was a term for it). In my late teens, I tackled my first novel: a thriller from the most sedentary kid you'd ever known. It was every bit as bad as you're thinking.A few years ago, I decided it was time to finally make my dream a reality. Inspiration for the characters in my Warlock Case Files series hit, and I started writing. I've published three books in that series with more to come. My most recent books is the first in a spin-off series, introducing a new warlock character. No worries, though. Paul and Dafydd have a guest starring role in that one. Currently I'm working on the next book in the Warlock Case Files. Dafydd will be getting an apprentice!

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The Case of the Haunted Vampire

By Juli Monroe

Copyright © 2011 by Juli Monroe

Smashwords Edition

These stories are works of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from Juli Monroe.

Cover Art by The Graphic Issue

Editing by Elizabeth Schwinn

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Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

The Case of the Haunted Vampire

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Excerpt from The Case of the Werewolf Puppy

The Case of the Haunted Vampire

Universe, what part of I’m having a bad day were you failing to understand?

I staggered into my small apartment and collapsed on the couch. Just because I’m good at helping out with exorcisms doesn’t mean they are my favorite. So of course, I’d been involved with two of them today. It seemed like spirits were coming out of the woodwork. Literally. One of them wouldn’t stop phasing in and out of a new deck. You know how hard it is to dispel a spirit who won’t stand still?

I was so tired that I was starting to drift off, but I yelped and came bolt awake when I felt teeth nipping at my toes. I kicked (gently) and sighed. Gimble. Enough already. I know you’re there.

Without even opening my eyes, I reached down and picked up a squirming white ferret. Her needle-like claws scrabbled at my arm for a moment before she settled down for petting. Her cousin, Gyre, scrambled up into my lap and nosed my other hand with a cold nose. I scratched behind her ears for a moment.

Who am I? Why do I exorcise ghosts, and why do I have ferrets?

One at a time, if you don’t mind.

My name is Dafydd Smith. I’m a warlock and part-time multi-level marketer. By the way, the name is pronounced like David. We’ll talk about my crazy parents later.

Exorcism isn’t my main gig. But most of the mediums in Washington, D. C. know about me, as does the one Catholic priest who actually believes and has enough magical talent to do more than chant Latin and cloud up a room with incense. I help them out with the tougher spirits who require a bit more mojo. Divinations are my specialty, and I can find even the most persistent ghosts.

As to the ferrets? Well, I’m a warlock. I need a familiar, right? I’m lucky. I have two. Gyre and Gimble. Not that they do much to help my magic, but they make me laugh on rotten days, and that’s worth a lot. They also leave presents all over my floor, but it’s a small price to pay.

Speaking of which, I wandered into the kitchen to grab some paper towels and do my part to clean up the environment. That’s when I saw the piece of paper, wrapped around a key to my apartment. With a sinking feeling, I read:

Dear Dafydd,

It’s been great, but I think we should take a break and see other people for a while.

James

Peachy. On top of everything else, my boyfriend left me. And he didn’t even have the guts to do it in person. I know how to pick ’em, don’t I?

I was trying to save money (magic doesn’t pay much), but this was too much. I needed some comfort food, and I knew just the place. I topped off the ferrets’ food bowls. They rewarded me with happy dook dooks. Then I changed into comfortable jeans, an old white t-shirt and my favorite black blazer before peering apprehensively into my wallet. One thing went right today. Andrew Jackson was staring back at me. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

Northwest D.C. is usually pretty safe, and I didn’t hesitate before turning down the alley which led to Annie’s, my favorite diner. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going. My thoughts were on the Dear Dafydd letter I’d just received. As a result, I almost missed it. Only the low growl stopped me.

This is not one of those creepy-you-never-want-to-go-there alleys. Just because I live in D.C. doesn’t mean I’m forever dodging bullets and weird street people. This was just your ordinary, behind-an-apartment kind of alley. A few parked cars, one of which should have been towed to a junk yard a year ago, dirty graffiti-covered brick walls and only one street lamp. The neighborhood has been after the city for that since last year, but they don’t listen.

Off to the side, crouched beside a low, two-car garage and barely illuminated by the lone lamp, crouched a tall man. Well, not really a man. Most men don’t have half-inch fangs buried deep in another guy’s neck.

Hey! I shouted. Let him go! Yeah, real threatening. But it’s not like I was expecting to run into a vampire on my way to dinner.

The vampire dropped his victim, stood up and stared at me. He wiped a drop of blood from his lip and waited. I found myself somewhat at a loss. Sure I’ve seen some weird stuff, dealt with the afore-mentioned ghosts and even stopped a coven of young Satanists. But a real vampire was kind of out of my league.

The vampire cocked his head and asked, Aren’t you going to threaten to stake me or something?

Not what I expected. He sounded so reasonable that I surprised myself by answering. No, I was actually trying to think of an appropriate spell to cast.

He actually chuckled, which surprised me. Vampires are supposed to be evil. All blood and fangs and the like. Where did it say they had a sense of humor?

Then he stepped into the light, and I almost stopped breathing in shock.

For starters he was easy on the eyes. His dark hair looked thick and soft, just right for running your fingers through. A white jacket framed broad shoulders, and the black t-shirt hugged a very nice chest and tight abs. White slacks completed an outfit which I realized was the photographic negative of my black blazer, jeans and white shirt. He