Ash Magazine Issue 2

By Lord Haywire

Ash Magazine is a magazine dedicated to exposing people to unknown writers and artists.

Ash Magazine Issue 2 has art and stories by
Andrew Dimitrov
Nikole Klinkhammer
Tony Gill
Tammie Painter
Eartha Forest
Will Schmitz
Devon Amato
Brett Cihon
Patrick Logon
Elizabeth J. Sparenberg
JazzMinh Moore
Erin Kassidy
Kayla Himmelberger
Nicholas Utke
Allison Wilde
Adam Roberts
Anna Palmer

Ash Magazine is published by
Lord Haywire
Ash Magazine Issue 2 was edited by Jenn Waterman

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lord Haywire
• Release date: Mar 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452405087

Book preview

Ash Magazine, Issue Two, 2011

Copyright Josh Cook 2011

Smashwords edition

Lord Haywire

Publisher

Jenn Waterman

Editor

The Mystery of Statement by Adam Roberts

Art by Anna Palmer

Goat Show by Brett Cihon

Art by Patrick Logon

First Responder by Tony Gill

Jenny Gets a Beater Bike by Will Schmitz

Art by Devon Amato

Addiction by Tammie Painter

Art by Eartha Forest

Constellations by Nicholas Utke

Art by Allison Wilde

Boar and Sow by Andrew Dimitrov

Art by Nikole Klinkhammer

Edited by Colin Marshall

Revolution by Elizabeth J. Sparenberg

Art by JazzMinh Moore

Imaginary by Erin Kassidy

Art by Kayla Himmlerberger

Visit AshMagazine.net for news and how to submit stories and art.

The Mystery of a Statement

By Adam Roberts

Adam Roberts’ marvelous short story, The Mystery of a Statement, sits in front of you on your desk. Your teacher has finally realized its greatness and is teaching you to see it, too. He goes to ask a question about the story and you begin to give the not me body language, but your plan works in reverse and he aims his eyes in your direction. "Can you tell the class why the ending of Roberts’ story is especially interesting?" He laughs as he asks it in the exact wording from the story; some of your classmates chime in with less passion.

You begin to sweat because you haven’t read beyond the first sentence. Somehow, you muster up an answer. The class listens to your impromptu analysis and your teacher is even partially impressed by what you say, despite your clueless position. You feel strange because no matter what you say, your teacher nods and laughs. You assume it’s that typical there’s no wrong answer thing teachers are often far too involved in. Luckily, you were just the tool to get the discussion rolling. Your teacher discusses the technical aspects of the story (who is writing the story, how the second person is working, etc.), as any good teacher should, straying from the story’s plot and ambiguous ending. This is where the story loses many readers, but not you. You were lost from the beginning.

Once class ends, you rise with the rest of the students and make your way towards the door. On the way out your teacher gives you a weird glance and smiles, so you smile back, like the two of you are sharing a nice joke. He is growing to love teaching with the years, and Roberts’ story is a new and wonderful piece that gets some of the lazier students excited.

Your friend Tony is waiting outside the door and you are pleasantly surprised because you don’t have your cell phone on you. He is wearing his only pair of jeans and the striped shirt he wore the night before. The two of you walk to a new pizza place that you’ve seen on campus but have never thought to try; he has something important to tell you but he wants to wait until lunch.

Tony always says everything has an exact purpose, and that it’s just hard to pinpoint. Today he has concocted his philosophy into a simple word: SNID. He tells you it stands for, Something Needing Infinite Dissection.

Everything’s a SNID, he announces coolly as he toys with his thick beard as though he is some type of genius. You let his idea sit for a second. Before you can respond, he continues. Love, hair color, microbrews, fate, he rants on, "they’re all SNID’s, and no one can accomplish the ID part. You’d need infinite time, and even then you’d never catch the end of it.

You ask if the ID part relates to the self, the ego, superego, things like that.

Sure, Tony nonchalantly replies. Everything relates to everything else when you get to the bottom of it.

But there’s no bottom, you correct him, trying to fit into his crazy idea for the sake of conversation.

Exactly! No top either, just middles. His eyes light up as he qualifies your statement, but not because you’re finally getting it. It’s because he smells the pizza and sees the bright neon sign that just popped into view from behind the corner of a building.

You sit down at the first table and order a large pepperoni for the two of you. Once the waitress leaves, Tony tells you without hesitation, I’m breaking up with my girlfriend.

It’s obviously not a simple thing for him so you try not to act overly shocked. You know the topic will be a reoccurring one, but for now you just tell him it’s probably best. She didn’t seem like the one for you, you reason, and everyone’s single these days, anyways.

True, you’re always single and happy, he says and brushes it off like it’s no big deal and asks how your class was.

Fine, you reply. "We read this short story called, The Mystery of a Statement, it’s really good." You choose to lie because Tony always gets on your case about having no motivation with school. He’s the scholastic robot and is able to keep up with any workload his professors may assign. When lying to him you feel closer to his level and it boosts your confidence in a rather unhealthy fashion.

He asks what’s so good about the story as the waitress brings over your meal. You both grab a slice and you take a big bite to delay your answer.

The ending, you say as you finish chewing your bite. The swallow is the kind from cartoons; right after a character lies or says something that might not go over well. Your Adam’s apple rises a few inches and hangs there for a couple seconds before plopping back down.

What about it? he pressures you like a professor.

Oh it’s just extremely unique and open ended. You gotta read it, it’s only ten pages. You avoid having to improvise an ending by putting the task of