Journals: Middle School Love & War

By Louise Palanker

It's 1970, in Buffalo, NY and 12-year-old Lanie Spurdle is haunted by some very tricky questions, like:

What are boys really thinking about girls and love and sex?

Why are my parents always so moody and angry at me?

How can people hate each enough to kill?

Of course, she's equally troubled by the more delicate questions like, "Why do I have to wear a bra?" "How do I escape the attack of the Middle School Queen Bee?" and "Does Clayton Murray like me as much as I like him?"

But as she begins to write in her journal and as she discovers and secretly reads her father's World War II journal, Lanie finds that her parents, her family and her world are coming into sharper focus.

Making her way across the battlefield of Middle School raises an array of questions but ultimately, Lanie learns that more important than finding all the answers, is being brave enough to ask the questions.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Louise Palanker
• Release date: Mar 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9780615459479

Louise Palanker

Louise Palanker received her teaching degree at SUNY Brockport, NY and then taught for a year before venturing west to Los Angeles to pursue a childhood dream of making her way in the entertainment industry.“As a kid from suburban Buffalo who had been to a taping of The Carol Burnett Show at 15, I set my sights on securing a job as a studio page,” says Louise.That took some effort but ultimately, she landed a job as a page for the Normal Lear sit-coms. That led to a position writing and producing for PM Magazine which introduced Louise to Rick Dees, who hired her to write The Rick Dees Weekly Top 40. At KIIS-FM, Louise met Disc Jockeys Tim Kelly and Steve Lehman with whom she formed Premiere Radio Networks.Premiere went on to dominate the radio syndication market and was sold to Clear Channel in the late 90s.This gave Louise the opportunity to launch a foundation which benefits children's causes. She also began a career in stand up comedy and devoted more of herself to her original calling of teaching and mentoring kids.Louise combined her teaching degree with her love of comedy and created The Kids Comedy Club, a stand-up comedy program for children, at Los Angeles area Boys & Girls' Clubs and The Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara where kids learn to write and perform stand up and Improv comedy. Through this program, Louise has been teaching and mentoring children for 11 years.Louise also wrote and published a young adult novel called "Journals: Middle School Love & War," which she then developed into an iPad/iTouch/iPhone app in 2009.Journals has twice been chosen as an iTunes staff pick and has received over 100,000 downloads.Utilizing app technology, that little book has launched a community devoted to helping kids grow up. Through Journals, kids can not only read the book (based on Louise's own awkward adolescence) They can write in the own diary, listen to a weekly podcast and ask Louise questions about everything that life is throwing their way: school, parents, friends, bullies, boys, girls, dating, love, sex, relationships, and other complicated things like life.Louise answers questions, daily, from kids the world over on these very topics. She is closing in on 3,000 questions asked and answered.“My approach starts with love but each response is infused with good sense, good safety and a boost of hope and inspiration,” reports Louise.“I want them to know that anything is possible if they truly strive, learn to love themselves and make good, solid choices.”The questions and answers are posted within the app and online at Journalsnetwork.comJournals: Out Loud, The Podcast brings this dialogue to a whole new level. Each Tuesday night at 8pm, Pacific kids who take an active part in the app all week, are flocking to the live feed and the chat room (journalsnetwork.com/listen) to have their voices heard and their questions answered.“The Journals Community has become very supportive,” says Louise. “It's a safe place to learn that your feelings matter and that you are not alone.”Parents are now discovering that Journals is the place to go to learn what your child is really thinking and to open up a healthy dialogue about topics that are tough for parents to broach with their kids.“I believe that parents are the heroes,” says Louise. I never had kids of my own and I think it's because my role in life is that of Mentor. I've always been driven to be that reassuring voice that helps a kid past a rough patch or inspires her to turn around and head in a more positive direction.”Through Journals, Louise is able to do exactly that for kids worldwide. Go to Journalsnetwork.com and join the conversation.

Book preview

Monday, January 5, 1970

Dear Journal, You were a gift from my Dad and I think he’d be hurt if I didn’t write in you so here I go… Today stunk or stank or whatever the past tense of stink is, although maybe I should just use the future tense because tomorrow will probably stink too. Why? Because of the public nudity enforced upon Middle School children in gym locker rooms, that’s why!

While I was quietly and quickly getting changed for gym today, the lovely and obnoxious Gretchen Alder accosted me. Gretchen is Mill Middle School’s very own, self appointed queen bee. She comes complete with two worker bees, Martha Castle and Cyndi Finderbeen who have gladly accepted the honor of doing her bidding. And lucky me... all three bees are in my gym class! Back to my story. Today, Queen Gretchen walks right up to my while I’m undressing. She flat out stares at my... chest area and she goes,

Oh, my God. You really need a bra!

I think people in other schools heard her. Congratulations, Queen Gretchen, you have found an all-new and highly humiliating method of teasing me. My breasts aren’t that big yet, are they? I was hoping I could wait until I’m 13 or maybe 30 to wear a bra. I’m not in any hurry to grow up. Martha calls me immature because I still wear an undershirt. She and Gretchen got bras before they even had anything to put in them. As if getting a bra is such a grand achievement or something. Here’s your bra. It comes with this trophy. To me, it’s like going into prison for the rest of my life. I don’t even understand why we have to develop our figure. I mean, female dogs don’t get breasts until they have puppies. Why do human grown up ladies have to carry them around ALL THE TIME?!

I guess I should introduce myself to you, Journal. My name is Lanie Spurdle. Hello, nice to meet you. Lanie is a nickname for Elaine. My middle name is Gail. Let’s see, what other important facts should I put here, right up front?

I am in the 7th grade. I live in Williamsville, NY. near Buffalo, NY. I am a simple girl with simple goals. Tomorrow, my dream is to make it successfully through gym class without getting picked on.

After school, Lois and I are going over to the Georgetown Plaza to get the new edition of Tiger Beat. Lois is my best friend and technically my third cousin because our grandmothers are first cousins and that's what makes you third cousins, according to our mothers who are second cousins. See how that works? Seventh graders are old enough to walk to the plaza after school as long as there’s not a blizzard.. This is Western New York or the Niagara Frontier as The weather man likes to call it which makes is sound pretty rugged. And in many ways it is. For instance, if you enjoy your weather several notches below frigid, this is the town for you. However, If you’re more like me, and you prefer to feel your toes, you’re growing up and moving to California. That’s my plan. In the meantime, 7th grade.

One fun thing about Williamsville, NY is our lovely plazas which feature a fine selection of department, grocery, gift, discount and drug stores. Lois and I love to walk over to the Georgetown Plaza near our school because it's just the best. They have a Grant's department store with tons of discount record bins and the Woolworth's has a really neat candy counter where I always order a bag of malted milk balls, and then we go to the Teck Pharmacy to get our teen mags. We gotta have our teen mags. But the best part about going to the plaza with Lois is just wandering in and out of stores together and laughing at everything until it gets dark. But first… the locker room.

I don’t mind the gym part of gym class. I’m OK at sports. I mean, I'm much better at sports than I am at math, or arithmetic. And I'm even worse at spelling. In fact, one time I had the word arithmetic as a spelling word and I got it wrong! I even had to look it up to spell it just now. Ha ha. So, yes, I do love sports although school gym is not nearly as much fun as when we play football on my street. First of all, girls never get to play football in school gym and second, our teacher, Mrs. Mason can yell even louder than she blows her whistle. But I usually get an A on my report card in gym and I think it’s because I’m a good team player. I never laugh out loud when someone strikes out in kickball, even though I find it pretty funny that a person could actually strike out in kickball. But let’s move back to the locker room and the three bees. All they care about is clothes and boys and make-up and boys and parties and boys and cheerleading and boys and oh, did I mention boys?

They are three silly chirpy chattery chicks and they act like they are the only ones in school who know what to wear and when to wear it and what to say and when to say it and who should be talking to who and when they should be talking to that person and when they should not be, etc. etc.! OK, Secretly, I am afraid of them. They can make you feel like a tiny bug on a rock with one withering look.

Look, please don't think I want to be a part of their group. I most certainly do not!! A lot of the things they talk about like make-up and boys and dating and kissing are all completely terrifying to me. Nope, I'm really not jealous. I just want them to leave me alone!

OK, let's move on to my looks and my personality. People might tell you that I'm a cute, funny, spunky tomboy. But It's my personal opinion that I am too tall and too plump, with dirty blond hair that's too thick and yes, kids my age are probably too hard on themselves.

Oh, I almost forgot... Today is my Dad’s birthday so I made him a card where I drew a cartoon of him reading a book with a caption that says, Reading: Good and good for you. Builds minds 12 ways. Nine out of ten dentists recommend reading books over eating them.

And to go along with that I bought him a book about World War II. He likes to read about the war because he fought in it. He fought in the Normandy Invasion and the Battle of the Bulge. He fought in battles all the way across Europe and he was only 18 years old. I always ask him to tell me stories about the war and sometimes he will. Other times he won’t talk about it. He says, Maybe later. If my Dad had died in this war, I wouldn’t be here. I think about that sometimes.

There must be a lot of almost people who aren’t here because their Fathers died in a war. Before bed, I went to say goodnight to my father and he was reading the book I gave him.

Chapter 2: The Family

Tuesday January 6, 1970

Yea, me. Today I made it through gym class without incident. It's snowing, but just a little, so after surviving school, Lois and I skipped the bus and walked to the plaza and then we walked home. It's just a little over a mile and I usually sing my own special versions of the Top 40 hit songs which always gets Lois singing so it's pretty funny. We want to start a band and call it Screwy and The Bolts. Ha ha. We made up that name because we love The Bolt Brothers on Here Come The Brides which is our favorite TV show. It’s about loggers in Washington State who are lonely so they send away for brides. I don’t think I would sail around the continent to marry a lumberjack, but Jeremy Bolt is played by the very gorgeous Bobby Sherman who my sister Amy plans to grow up and marry, so maybe she would.

Lois is pretty, with dark hair and rosy cheeks. She lives on Fleetwood Terrace, the street behind mine, Tristan Lane. A rule in my house is that you have to be home by 6pm, or by dark, whichever comes first. If you're not home by then, you're in trouble. I have no idea why it's so important to my mother that I'm home by dinner. It's not like we sit around the table and discuss our day. Sometimes I try to talk and my mother, Ruth Spurdle, pretends to listen and she'll nod and say, Mmm hmm, which is my first clue that she's not listening. My second clue is that I'll say something funny (at least I hope it’s funny) and she'll do her fake laugh which is a ha ha ha with a blank stare. I would prefer no laugh at all to the fake laugh. I get plenty of authentic laughs from my little brother Kurt who thinks I am just hilarious. He is a pretty goofy kid, even for a little brother but I get him. On the other hand, I do not get my older sister, Annie. She is mostly silent around me. I know that she is beautiful and popular and smart and I know that she is in love with Bobby Sherman. The rest of her is still a mystery. My dad, Marvin Spurdle works late on Mondays and Thursdays and he works all day Saturday.

He has a store that sells ladies' coats, so very often dinner is just me, my sister, my brother, my mother and my mother's bad mood. The bad mood is what makes it feel so crowded.

When dinner is over, we kids clear the table and do the dishes and my Mom goes into her room and shuts the door because she has a headache. If we are too loud, she comes out and yells at us. If we don't clean up the kitchen right, we get yelled at, if she finds dirty clothes in our rooms, we get yelled at, if we don't get ourselves clean enough in the shower, we get yelled at. In this house, you really never know when you're going to get yelled at.

When Dad comes home, he's quiet and angry because