Mouseschawitz: My Summer Job Of Concentrated Fun
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About this ebook
Though set at Disney World, this collection is far from Disneyesque (as if the title wasn't a giveaway.) Mouseschawitz - My Summer Job of Concentrated Fun - is Part 1 of a short collection of essays from an ex theme park employee and the unbelievable feats she witnessed one summer. From deadly wildlife to celebrity encounters, to guests attempting makeshift abortions on rides, these tales cover all kinds of thrills in the happiest place on earth.
"Angela Lovell is not just someone who slapped together a few Disney stories. She has published other (non-Disney) books, and her work has appeared in such venerable venues as High Times, Opium Magazine, and MTV. She writes humor that is equal parts absurd and scathingly funny. That's your warning." - Bob McLain, Disney Dispatch
"Her first ambition was to become a character. She fell short of that goal and ended up as an Attractions Host at Splash Mountain. The blow by blow of the process makes the booklet worth the price alone. To say that the booklet is a quick read is an understatement. This is a really, really short book. But for $3 it is about as unvarnished look at the life of a Cast Member then anything in print this side of Cast Member Confidential." - SamLand's Disney Adventures
Angela Lovell
Angela Lovell is an award-winning playwright, director, screenwriter, essayist, podcaster, writing instructor, sex columnist, and critic of film, theatre and music. Her work has appeared in BUST Magazine, High Times, The L Magazine, Common Ties, Opium Magazine, Match.com, and The New York Press. Angela has written for MTV, and several independent film studios. She's taken first place at The Moth's NYC StorySlam (www.themoth.com), and performed her earliest embarrassing writing onstage at Mortified (www.getmortified.com). Angela is afraid of ghosts and sharks but not of dentists. She lives in New York City with her two opinionated dogs.
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Mouseschawitz - Angela Lovell
MOUSESCHAWITZ
My Summer Job of Concentrated Fun
by Angela Lovell
Copyrighted 2011 by Ticking Boxes
Smashwords Edition
FOREWORD
When I was twenty years old I landed a job working among all types of ethnicities toward a common goal. This job changed me forever and still leaves an impression on interviewers of less-dazzling jobs to this day. Though it did not make my pockets bulge, or even bring my car payments up to date, this brief career enriched my life in ways I shall try describing to you now. The following are tales from the summer I spent working as a cowgirl at the happiest place on earth.
I will try to be as specific as possible in my descriptions of this international theme park, but forgive me if I seem vague. Years ago my very dear college friend placed an ad in the newspaper of a small town just outside Punxsatawney, Pennsylvania. She advertised a service for children's birthday parties, offering to dress quite convincingly as Snow White, Mary Poppins, or the female lead of Beauty and The Beast. To entice parents all the more, she'd mentioned in a little starburst within the ad that she had the esteemed pleasure of working as these characters within this famous theme park. Days later she received a letter from lawyers threatening to financially disembowel her if she didn't cease running such ads at once.
I have no such death wish myself. But if you are an exec reading this on behalf of that glorious conglomerate, I will admit that I'm a creature of exaggeration and prone to ferocious lies. Ask my mother. Please handle this piece as though it were fiction.
And for the rest of you daring readers, I hope you have more faith in me than that.
It’s a Small Chance After All
I had no intention of trying out for the costume characters that summer or working at that theme park at all. This was a job for people who can click their heels together in the midair, do magic tricks, or at least like children. A carload of my college friends drove down from Pittsburgh to audition